THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Everyone has a right to be stupid.
Some just abuse the privilege
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
So, moms, didja have a good mom's day?
I'm sorry ifin ya didn't ...what's your
kid's address? I'll send em a pipe bomb:)
NO NO.. I'm just yanking your cage. Seriously,
a belated moms day wish to all moms and I hope you
all remembered, as for some reason, I neglected
to prepare a mothers day type reminder for you all.
Sorry about that, guess I had some sort of brain fart.
I had a good idea for mothers day...
Intent on getting violets and marigolds for the "war department "
to plant in the yard on mothers day I decided was a safe gift.
At least that was what I tho't when I was headed out the door.
But, daughter Rachael began making
noises...."Dad!! You know mom does NOT have a decent
camera. Us kids can all pitch in on it and it will
be help on costs! We can all give it to her together"
Yes, it's an issue I have been avoiding for
a couple years now. The mother of my children is a very "old
school" type of lady who took over a year just to learn
how to send yahoo email:) Needless to say, the visions
and hopes of teaching "the war department" about the
possibility of using a digital camera??? A frightening
prospect, to say the least! But the postman is a sly
devil..."OK, daughter, why don't you come for supper with us to
Outback, I'll buy and afterwards, since I know nothing
about cameras, you can help us pick one out. " My daughter
should have been on guard because I am about the cheapest
skin flint this side of the Mississippi. And when I offered
to pay for supper, that should have been a warning that
I had some motive. So, anyways, we are sitting there
enjoying the prime rib over at the Outback, discussing the
intricacies of a digi camera, and I repeatedly made comments
of my lack of knowledge, expressing my reluctance to get
one, and etc. playing it up for my grand finalle. And so
finally, the two ladies are all charged up now and
ready to run out the door, even before we had finished
the prime rib, and go over to Best Buy, I said, "well gee, Rachael,
if mom doesn't know how to use the silly thing, I guess she
will have to come to you to figure out how, right?" You
could just exactly tell when the "lightbulb" came on and
daughter realized that dear old dad had duped her.:)
when the war department chimed in and said to me....
"See hon, you won't have to be involved at all because
If I don't understand ...I can just ask Rachael."
The prime rib at Outback never tasted so good:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
bears
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z001.html
the cat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z002.html
a collection
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z003.html
a breeze
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z004.html
don't worry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z005.html
of course
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z006.html
dont give a fuck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z007.html
a hobby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z008.html
kitchen accesories
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z009.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
McDonalds fish sandwich
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9579.html
McDonalds fatass meal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9580.html
a massage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9581.html
robber
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9582.html
Have Toilet, Will Travel! Naked and Funny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9583.html
spy cam
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9584.html
_____________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
a car or a woman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd070.html
from Russia
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd071.html
God
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd072.html
Bela Dani
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd073.html
A tired mom opened the front door of her home to
find a young minister from the neighborhood who said,
"I'm collecting donations for the new children's
home we're building. I hope you'll give what you
can." "To be sure," said the beleaguered woman,
"I'll give you two boys, two
girls, OR one of each."
_____________
Jim needs a job, and has no qualms about inventing
the necessary qualifications. He reasons that once
he finds work, he will impress the boss so much
that everything will be forgiven. After a successful
initial interview at the Encyclopedia of American
History, he is called back to meet the sales manager.
"You say you have experience selling books?"
"Lots of it," replies Jim.
"And you have a Master's in American history
from the University of Michigan?"
"Correct," replies Jim. "History is my field of study."
"Well then," says the sales manager, "As soon as I
can complete this form, we can get you started
in the firm." While the sales manager is making a
few notations, Jim, obviously pleased with himself,
begins to whistle. Looking around the room, he notices
pictures of Washington and Lincoln on the walls.
Pointing to the portraits, he turns to the sales
manager and says, "Fine looking men. Your partners?"
_____________
Mac the sailor docked at New York after a frustrating
three-month voyage. Unfortunately he'd lost most of
his pay playing poker on board ship,so when he
eventually found a lady of the night all he could
offer her was 50 cents and a pair of sneakers from
Singapore. She refused with disdain. He wandered
around in search of a more accommodating girl, but
was refused time and time again. Eventually he found
a more sympathetic lady who told him that although
she could not possibly accept his offer herself,
he could try Mabel down the road. But she warned him
not to expect too much as Mabel was very unresponsive
and would probably just lie there passively.
He found Mabel, and as times were hard she reluctantly
agreed to accept the 50 cents and the pair of
sneakers for her services, but told him not to expect
any kind of response from her. Mac began the amorous
act and after a few minutes was pleased to find an
arm coming around his back.This was followed shortly
after by a leg curling around his rear.
Mac, who had always fancied himself a bit of a Romeo,
gasped, "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist my charms."
"Don't worry about me, love," answered Mabel,
"I'm just trying on the sneakers."
_____________
God said, "Go down into the valley."
Adam said, "Lord, What's a valley?"
God explained it to him.
Then God said, "Cross the river."
Adam said, "Lord, What is a river?"
And God explained it to him.
Then God said, " Go over the hill."
Adam said, "Lord, What is a hill?"
God explained it to him.
Then God told Adam,
" On the other side of the hill, you will
find a cave."
Adam said, "Lord, What is a cave?"
And God explained it to him.
"In the cave you will find a woman."
Adam said, "Lord, What is a woman?"
So God explained it to him.
Then God said "I want you to reproduce."
Adam said, "Lord, How do I do that?"
And god explained it to him.
So off Adam went, down into the valley, across the river, over
the hill, and into the cave, and found the woman,
Five minutes he was back.
God said angrily, "Now what?"
And Adam said, "Lord, What is a headache?"
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Two Short Of A Threesome
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agdhhs.htm
XBox
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfgh.htm
Efficiency
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aghdjj.htm
___________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Miller Lite - Eat The Yellow Snow
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000960.html
Mini Machine Gun
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000961.html
Miss Nightingale
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000962.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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