Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Got my first watermelon of the year today, one of the basketball
sized seedless ones that seem to be improving with flavor
each year. The personal sized ones have been around for the
past months but they lack severely in taste and quantity.
Watermelon is great for you plenty of vitamin c and potassium
and four times the cancer fighting lycopene than is found in a
tomato plus it is supposed to have the same effect as Viagra
on some people but without the four hour warning.
From our Police and Fire proving there are criminals, dumb
criminals,
and criminals on drugs.
Missing meds
City police are investigating the disappearance of pills containing
morphine and Oxycodone sometime between 10 a.m. and 6:30 p.m.
Thursday.
The man with the pills identified a female friend as a possible
suspect in the theft while talking to police.
Officers followed up with her and learned the woman did suffer from
severe pain and was a user of the man's prescription medications,
but added she only obtained them by performing certain "services"
and had never stolen any of pills.
The case has been forwarded to the prosecutor for review.
In the comment section of our online paper someone using
the name of gwbuffalo asked: Wonder what she will do for an Advil?
and another reader followed that up with;
Heck, I want to know what she would do-oo-oo for a Klondike Bar. . .
lol
It seems like almost everyday there is a story about someone having
pain killers stolen from cars or purses and although some are true
the majority are people trying to replace the meds they sold or
gave to friends. If that was the case in the last story they are
both
looking at sitting in jail for a long time for prescribing without a
license,
unlawful use, sale of drugs, and probably prostitution and
solicitation.
Perhaps they will have time to deal with their pain management
problems
while they are guests of the county.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
guy goes inside the confessional and says, "Forgive me, Father, for
I have sinned."
"What did you do, my son?" asked the priest.
"Yesterday I was walking along the beach at night, and I decided to
explore a cave near the shore. When I turned on my flashlight, I
witnessed two men having sex."
"Oh, so you were the idiot with the flashlight?"
A man from Bangladesh named Abdul was bragging that in his country
there are 79 different ways to make mad passionate love. A gent
from Florida listened incredulously. "Why that's amazing. Where I
come from there's only one way." "Just one?" Abdul asked. "And
which way is that?" "Well,"
the Florida gent began, "there's a man and there's a woman--"
"Praise Allah!!" exclaims Abdul, "Number 80!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
chicken nuggets
http://www.thepostm
silent films
http://www.thepostm
browsers welcome
http://www.thepostm
Memories
http://sydesjokes.
Mentos Pepsi Demonstration
http://sydesjokes.
Mercedes Benz Hamster
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blooper Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Press Bloopers
He left for a vacation at his lodge, taking his favorite two
great dames with him.
Rev. Hammond was congratulated on being able to get his
parish plastered.
His left thumb, which was shot away, is doing nicely.
We've got fifty yankettes married into English nobility
right now. Some of them are duchesses. Some are countesses.
Eleven are baronesses. Only one is a lady.
The font so generously presented by Mrs. Smith will be set in
position at the east end of the Church. (I don't see the blooper
here,
but left it in for those of you who are not having a *blonde
moment.*)
Babies may now be baptized at both ends.
The church is now forming a Little Mothers Club. All women
desiring to become Little Mothers are asked to meet with the
pastor in his study after services.
Dr. Gilbert Murray, O.M., will celebrate his ninetieth
birthday quietly at his home at Boars Hill, near Oxford,
tomorrow, with his wife, Lady Mary Murray. They have been
married 66 years. This evening he is to broadcast in the BBC
Home Service a talk called "Unfinished Battle."
A loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It
was given by one of the members in memory of his wife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Radio Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Top 16 Signs a Radio Talk Show Host Is on Drugs
16. Takes phone calls only if the caller agrees to do a hit of
helium first.
15. Spent the last 15 minutes of yesterday's show clearing his
throat.
14. His response to every caller: "Dave's not here, man."
13. Cannot refer to Eli Lilly without adding the phrase "makers of
some mighty fine sh*t!"
12. "Microphones! There are microphones everywhere!"
11. Every call is screened through a rigorous "Are you a cop? You
sure? You gotta say so or else it's entrapment, man!" line of
questioning.
10. Claims he can do his show "with half my stash hidden under my
bedjust to make it fair."
9. While interviewing Barbara Bush, constantly refers to her son as
George Washington and adds how much "you two dudes look alike."
8. He's talking into an iced-tea spoon.
7. Ted Nugent cuts the interview short and advises the host to "try
decaf."
6. He's on a seven-second delay even when he's OFF the air.
5. Refuses to give out the show's telephone number because "The Man
can trace it, dude!"
4. Takes payola only in the form of Cool Ranch Doritos.
3. Calls for drastic retaliation against Arab states for their
nuking of Arizona and the poisoning of President Palmer.
2. Can't stop giggling long enough to hear what "Dick in Buffalo"
has to say.
1. Begins every news segment with: "First, let's go to my beeper
for a quick look at the traffic."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny was in trouble again. He
was charged with the rape of a grown
woman, and all though the crime seemed
highly improbable, the state's evidence
was overwhelming.
As a last desperate move, the defense
counsel came over to the witness stand,
pulled down Little Johnny's pants, and
grabbed the boy's tiny penis for all to see.
"Ladies and gentlemen," the lawyer cried
turning toward the jury box. "Surely you cannot
believe that such a small still undeveloped
organ is sexually mature?"
Growing more agitated he went on. "How
could this miniature member be capable even
of erection, let alone the rape of a fully grown
woman."
"Watch it," whispered Little Johnny.
"One more shake and you'll lose the case!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fancy lady on vacation took a stroll through the woods. Suddenly a
little white duck, all covered with shit, crossed her path.
"Oh, dear," the lady said, "come on, I'll clean you!" She took a
Kleenex from her purse and did a good job. After that she urged the
duck
away. "Be careful next time!"
She walked on and another duck, with shit all over it, crossed her
way.
Again she took a Kleenex and cleaned the little animal. She warned
this
one as well and the duck took off. Then she encountered a third
duck,
with the same problem.
"Now I have had it!" She screamed. "What have you been doing?" And
for
the third time she acts like a Florence Nightingale.
She walked on - suddenly she heard a voice from the bushes. "Hey,
you,
lady!" sounded a male voice in distress.
"Yes?" she replied.
"Do you have a Kleenex?"
"Not anymore, no." she answered.
"Too bad. I'll have to use another duck."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limited time offer so act now.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Secret Place
http://www.silveran
Marlene/ Mother's Elbows
http://summerhoosie
John w/ Its Your Day Mom's
http://heavens-
Never Give Up!
http://www.Shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Surfin Surfari
Best Knots for Fishing & Outdoors
http://www.netknots
Planet Hazzard
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Wall Mural Art 2
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Expensive Hotels!
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
NSA Level Encrption http://www.snapfile
Ming Fonts Via sally
http://www.lingolin
Meta Search Engine Via Wesley
http://www.sperse.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
South Florida Dog Parks
http://www.doortosu
Dog Day Afternoon! http://www.shangral
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Movie Links
Wild Crashes
http://www.buffalos
Wireless Headset
http://www.buffalos
Women Fights Robber
http://www.buffalos
Women President
http://www.buffalos
Women Hitchhikers
http://www.buffalos
Workers Bra
http://www.buffalos
Worse Than Locking Keys In Car
http://www.buffalos
Worst Seats
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WoW
http://www.buffalos
Wrong Ball
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Wrong Gift
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Hama Rat
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bowel Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was this Indian chief named Chief Bowels. The neighboring
town wanted to build a golf course on his land, and this made the
chief very angry, so he sends a messenger to the council office,
which was in the same building as the doctor's office. The
messenger goes in the wrong door, goes to the doctor and says,
"Bowels not move." So the doctor gives him a pill. The messenger
takes the pill back to the chief. The next day the messenger is
back and says , "Bowels still not move." So the doctor gives him a
stronger pill. The next day, same thing, the messenger comes back
"Bowels STILL no move." So the doctor gives him the strongest pills
he has. The next day, the messenger comes back and says, "Bowels
HAD to move. Tepee full of s--t."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are Fucked
http://www.buffalos
Hung
http://www.buffalos
Chess
http://www.buffalos
Can You Hear Me Now?
http://www.buffalos
Complaints
http://www.buffalos
All 4 One
http://www.buffalos
Mouse Pad
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a woman named Nancy,
Who waltzed with a man they called Clancey.
Soon after the dance,
He pulled down her silk pants,
Proceeding to tickle her fancy.
* * * *
A horny young woman named Kate,
Had hoped for a really hot date.
But despite lots of kissing,
His erection was missing;
So next time she'll just masturbate.
* * * *
His dick is most surely a dilly,
A grand and marvelous Willie.
His gal loves to give head,
But most often instead;
He ends by just screwing her silly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he heard
some
voices from inside. He slammed open the door, and shouted: Listen,
you
guys!
A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good night. What you must
realize,
is that when I say "Good Night," what I
really mean is "YOU WILL FUCKING SHUT UP!!!"
The room instantly fell silent. But after a few seconds, a small
voice
could
be heard from somewhere in the far back of the dark room:
"Good Night, Sergeant"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1784
Time To Learn the Secrets
Katie: How do you like your plastic dog house Val?
Val: It's okay, small but with the blanket it is warm enough.
Katie: Care to visit my plastic dog house?
Val: What would be the difference?
Sandi and Rudy giggling...
Katie: Come and see.
Val crawls inside the curtain opening and......
Val: WOW!!!!! Marble floors.... A flat screen TV! This place is
huge!
Sandi: You will need to check out the upstairs.
Rudy: The basement is pretty cool too.
Val: I don't understand..
Katie: Mirrors, paint, it creates an effect.
Val: You have a hot tub?
Katie: Of course and a Sauna.
Val: And a kitchen?
Rudy: She has a great bar also. I think I will pull a draft while
I am
here.
Val: I am amazed. Can I see your bedroom?
Katie: No. It has shag carpeting and you are not housebroken yet.
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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