Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
For some reason the new coffee makers such as Mr Coffee don't have
enough room in the brew baskets to hold all the coffee needed to
make a decent cup of coffee. And what is the purpose of the coffee
filter? As you know a good cup of coffee is eaten as much as drank.
True story. Summer of 67, in the Med, under way on steam. Had a
guy in the galley whose one and only job was to see that the first
bridge watch had coffee when they came on duty.
Like most humans he enjoyed those few extra minutes of sleep each
day. He found out that the boilers always had hot water that he
could pour through some coffee grinds and get "instant" coffee
without having to get up and spend time boiling water.
After two days at sea the entire first watch all came down with the
runs. As in sick bay, very bad.
Seems there was a chemical added to the water that went into the
boilers to reduce boiler scale. Not fit for human consumption.
That was 43 years ago and I think that guy is just about half way
finished his time cleaning the heads.
Jim buffalo says Back in the old days Navy Boiler Compound was added
to the water to make it alkaline so it would not attack the tubes
and disodium phosphate as a wetting agent to help with heat transfer
and to make the dissolved crud in the water settle out so that it
could be removed. Although it was highly diluted lye and disodium
phosphate is not really good for you and can kill off the normal
bacteria in your stomach. Another chemical, phenolphthalein, was
used to make solutions for telling the ph value of boiler water. It
was also the major ingredient of Ex-Lax and some people thought it
was funny to add a little to a coffee pot and watch their buddies
make a run for the bathroom. Sometimes even the drinking water was
a laxative. The potable water was chlorinated to 2.0 parts per
million to kill off any bacteria. If someone miscalculated on the
amount of HTH to add to the water at 12 ppm it could start killing
off the good bacteria and you were headed for the bathroom. On the
good side though the laundry didn't have to use as much bleach to do
the whites.
To get back to the coffee, a Mr. Coffee wouldn't have been much
good to the average sailor who drank 10 cups of coffee during a four
hour watch. Even a thirty cup coffee maker seldom gave everyone in
the machinery room their first cup of coffee as there was about 15
people to a watch down there and many drank out of large mugs or
like me a beer stein. It gave you an incentive to get to your watch
station a few minutes early to guarantee a fresh cup of coffee. No
one wanted to drink that stuff on the mess decks because you didn't
know personally who had made it or how old it was and it was usually
weak and overcooked.
Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Little Johnny Chips
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Little Johnny and his girl were walking along
a trail in the woods. Suzy noticed that some of
the animals were behaving oddly. "Little Johnny,
why is that rabbit on top that other one?" she
asked.
Little Johnny stopped to consider his answer,
and replied, "They're making cigarettes."
"Cigarettes?" she exclaimed, as they continue
walking along. Pretty soon, they approached
a couple of raccoons. Suzy asked, "Are they
making cigarettes too?"
"Yea," says Little Johnny.
Suzy looked around and said, "It looks like all the
animals are making cigarettes, why do not we
make cigarettes?" Little Johnny was quick to say,
"OK!"
An hour or so later Little Johnny and Suzy were
walking out of the woods, when she asked,
"Little Johnny, what kind of cigarettes did we make?"
Little Johnny stopped to think about his answer,
and then replied, "Well if you get a hump in your
belly it's a Camel, and if you don't it was a
Lucky Strike."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
that reminds me
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repitition
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your computer
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Random Chips
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Wife comes home to find the old man shagging the dog in the front
room. "My God, Henry," she screams, "I know you've had other women,
but this time you've gone too far!" "You may be right" he says, "I
think I'm stuck."
What does a blonde have in common with the United States Army?
They're open to any man between the ages of eighteen and
thirty-five.
Paula and Steve got married. They went to a hotel for the wedding
night. The following morning, Paula's closest friend came over and
asked how their wedding night went. Paula told her "I'm just awfully
tired, dead tired. All night long it was up and down, in and out, up
and down, in and out." Her friend, misunderstanding her, was a bit
shocked that she spoke so crassly. Steve clarified by adding, "Don't
ever get a room next to an elevator!"
What two things in the air can make a Woman pregnant? Her feet.
Stan Kegel
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Monopoly Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Strip Monopoly
1. All clothing is legal tender, for debts both public,
and private, at the values listed.
2. Any clothing given to the bank is removed from the game.
3. If you do not have cash, then you MUST pay in clothes.
4. All payments to the bank for Chance, Community Chest,
Income Tax, etc. must include at least one item of
clothing (not necessarily yours).
5. When paying rent to another player, you must roll 1
die. If it comes up 5, or 6, you must include one item of clothing
for
the rent. Full Change of the appropriate amount will be given, in
either
cash, or clothes.
6. YOU MAY NOT WEAR ANY OTHER PLAYERS CLOTHING!!!!!!!!!!
EVEN IF SHE *IS* YOUR WIFE !
Clothing values:
Note: all values may be adjusted in response to sexy
underwear, or similar circumstances.
Jewellery---------$3.00 per type(if you have 10 bracelets, together
they
are worth $3.00)
Shoes-----------$5.00 per pair
Socks-----------$5.00 per pair
Shirt-----------$50.00 (male, female w/ bra)
Shirt----------$350.00 (female w/out bra)
Pants----------$100.00 (w/ underwear)
Pants----------$600.00 (w/out underwear)
Bra------------$300.00
Underwear------$500.00
*values listed here are assumed to be worn. once an
item of clothing is removed from the body, the price
drops to the lowest price for that item. (ex: once a
shirt w/out a bra is sold, its price drops from $350
$50) All outer clothing not listed here, is worth
$1.00 a piece. Any clothing not listed (i.e. garter
belts) the price will be set by the group.
So, anyone fancy popping over here to play monopoly
with me tonight ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Viagra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly couple were at home at the wife called out "So, when are
you going to the doctor"
"I told you, I'll go when I feel like going."
After 3 months of nagging, the old man finally walked into the
doctors office. "Doc," he said, "This is embarrassing, ut I'd like
to
get a prescription for Viagra."
"Not a problem," said the doctor, as he started
"You don't understand," said the old man. "I am almost 90 years old
and I haven't had sex in more than ten years. I only want it to
stick
out a little so when I pee, it doesn't get on my shoes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex Gude For Idiots
If she says she is a virgin that doesn't mean she is
from a state in the South.
Silence doesn't mean your performance leaves her speechless.
If you're going to call out a name make sure it's the right one.
Choking the chicken is not something done at farms.
Spanking the monkey is not something done at zoos.
No one in junior high is 18, even if they're wearing a
lot of make-up.
You don't need a passport to French kiss.
If your partner asks you to wear a leather mask it
does not mean that it is Halloween.
Safe sex does not mean she has an airbag attached to her.
Spermicide is not made by Raid.
The clap doesn't mean she is applauding your performance.
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Why?
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Insp/Why.html
Unlock My Heart
http://www.carolspoetry.com/07jan/3.html
Getting Over
http://www.poetrybyken.us/ipoems52/Getting%20Over.html
Herald A New Day
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Surfin Surfari
More from Eyjafjallajokull - The Big Picture via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/y7k6rek
20 Ugliest Celebrities Via Day
http://oddee.com/item_88803.aspx
Internet Crime Archives
http://www.mayhem.net/Crime/archives.html
USS New York LPD-21 Tribute
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ussny.html
Awesome Tree Houses
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Resources For Web Design Via Wesley
http://www.kayodeok.btinternet.co.uk/favorites/webdesign.htm
Redirect Page for Long URL's
http://redirx.com/
Font Pool
http://www.fontpool.com/
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.funtrivia.com/playquiz/quiz159861d7a78.html
Kitty Korner
http://painterthecat.com/stories.htm
Giant Catfish
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Movie Links
Hot Sex
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8298.htm
How I crashed my Harley
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8299.htm
How I Will Feel If Hillary Is Elected
http://www.buffaloschips.com/82910.htm
How to get rid of a one night stand
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How to carry plywood
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Love Bird
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Love Hurts
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jajka.htm
Megan True Love
http://www.buffaloschips.com/klkdl.htm
Men Invented Everything
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Mouse
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Stretched Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10
miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge
only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side
lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to
the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we
all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
The cop stammered, "A what?
A rectum stretcher?
And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger,
then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then
four, then with my whole hand in.
work from side to side until I can get both hands
in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until
it's about 6 feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot
asshole?" he asked.
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs. $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face............... PRICELESS
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Toon Chips
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Oh Boss
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280505.htm
Bad Milk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280506.htm
Cards
http://www.buffaloschips.com/020280507.htm
Stripper Strike
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280508.htm
Billy's Plan
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2280509.htm
Coke Job
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2280510.htm
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young fellow of Strensall,
Whose prick was as sharp as a pencil.
On the night of his wedding,
It went through the bedding,
And shattered the chamber utensil.
There was a young lady of Michigan,
Who said, "Damn it! I've got the itch again."
Said her mother, "That's strange,
I'm surprised it ain't mange,
If you've slept with that son-of-a-bitch again."
There was a young fool name of Raines,
To get laid, he'd go to great pains,
Never a genius,
He thought with his penis,
But his prick was as dumb as his brains.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walked into a Wal-Mart and the Greeter said, "Automotive,
aisle
15." The man asked, "How did you know I was here to get oil?"
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
Another man walked in and the Greeter said, "Sporting goods, aisle
28."
The man asked, "How did you know I wanted fishing supplies?
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
A woman walked in and the Greeter said, "Tampons, aisle 5."
The woman said, "No, I'm here for hemorrhoid medicine."
The Greeter said, "Darn, I missed it by an inch!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1790
Playing
BJ is sitting on the deck watching the dogs play.
Rudy and Val are running and wrestling, Katie is jumping over them
while Sandi lopes around the group making certain no serious harm
is being done.
Diana: They play well together don't they.
BJ: Watch.
Katie drags out a card table and starts dealing, she is wearing a
visor.
The other dogs take a seat and the game starts in ernest.
Diana: Hmm a different kind of play.
BJ: This gets serious.
Katie: And the dealer takes two.
Diana: So what are they teaching Val? To gamble?
BJ: Math.
Soon the chips start to pile high on the table and from Val the
chips
shrink.
BJ: She will learn in time. She has good teachers.
Diana: It doesn't seem fair.
BJ: Life is not fair. They are teaching by experience and the only
way
to learn is by experience. You cannot just jump from a child to an
adult
without learning. They are teaching her and she is learning. The
next
time she will do better.
BJ: Look this hand she won.
Diana: I guess you are right, experience will win.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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