Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Like everybody else I have been listening to all of the proposed
solutions for stopping that big leak in the Gulf of Mexico. Using
hay to sop up a spill is not a new idea and even though it works it
is only one step in a process. A better method is polyporous mats
which are sponges that will suck up oil but not water. Either
way you need a mechanical way of collecting the material and
wringing the oil out so that they can be reused. If you take your
media and wringer and put them on a conveyor, then you mount
it on a boat, you have a skimmer and you are left with oil that can
go back into the system. We had all of that and herders and
dispersants and oil booms and they were already talking about
oil eating microbes thirty years ago. We had all those when the
Exxon Valdez had it's spill but those lessons were forgotten not by
oil companies but by the stockholders and Board of Directors that
wanted big dollars for their paychecks and retirement accounts and
governments that want to be in Oil's deep pockets. Well by the time
they get done paying for this mess everyone will be a lot
poorer including you and me.
Last but not last I heard a newscaster say that the spill was from
a
sunken tanker and a couple of really bad interviews with people
regarding oil rig operations. Don't just put any idiot up there to
discuss this, we deserve good info not just full air time.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Chef Chips
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The Top 10 Pickup Lines Used By Chefs.....
10. "Your eyes are like limpid pools of chicken stock."
9. "I know we've just met, but will you marinade me?"
8. "Cumin here often?"
7. "How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?"
6. "Care to come back to my place and kick it up a notch?"
5. "Hey, weren't you in my 'Introduction to Melons' class?"
4. "We've now simmered for the recommended 25 minutes.....time to
come
to a full boil!"
3. "You're twice as sweet as a creme brulee.....and less drippy."
2. "Get the buttah."
And the Number 1 Pickup Line used by Chefs...
1. "Uh, yeah.....I invented Spaghetti-O's"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
oh shit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z066.html
how much
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z067.html
shaggin sheep
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z068.html
Monkey On Motorbike
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000978.html
Monthly Man
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000979.html
Moon Job
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000980.html
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Viagra Chips
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Top 10 viagra advertising slogans
10. Viagra, Whaazzzzz Up!
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there
overnight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
3. Viagra, Tastes great! More filling!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to life!
And the unanimous number one slogan..............
1. This is your penis. THIS IS YOUR PENIS ON DRUGS. Any questions?
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Sperm Chips
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In a Biology class, the professor was discussing the high
glucose levels found in semem which gives the sperm all the
energy for their journey.
A female freshman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand
you correctly, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in
sugar, in semen?"
"That's correct", responded the professor, going onto to add
statistical info.
Raisng her hand again, she asked, "Then why doesn't it taste
sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing.
The poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized
exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied),
she picked up her books without a word and walked out of the
class, never to return.
However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's
reply was classic. Totally straight-faced he answered her
question.
"It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness
are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat.
Have a good day!"
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Divorce Chips
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Divorce Letter Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new
pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love
me Anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as
husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me
anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband P. S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are
moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband -
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good
man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant
whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when
you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind
was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to
say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment .
And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years
ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job
and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were
gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer
said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P. S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla
was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
Heather
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I called UPS about an insurance claim I had filed on a package. I
knew the automated voice response system wouldn't be able to handle
this issue so I immediately said, "customer service."
It did a little beep-boop-bop computing noise, and then insisted
that I first pick from its menu, none of which items bore any
resemblance to insurance claims. I tried "track a package." It
recited the status, followed by "Can I help you with anything else?"
I said, more insistently, "customer service," at which it complained
that that was the most recent shipping information.
Exasperated--but a bit curious--I said, "Damn you," and after the
little computing noise, it swiftly transferred me to customer
service.
A blonde and her boyfriend were sitting at home one night and became
bored.
"Hey, let's play a game" she said.
"What game?" was his bored reply.
"Let's play hide'n'seek. I'll give you a blow-job if you can find
me."
"What if I can't find you?"
"I'll be behind the piano."
Mary: Did you hear that Linda got a great new job?
Jill: Really? I wish I could do that. I'd like a change for the
better.
Mary Well, you can always do what she did.
Jill: What's that?
Mary: Don't wear panties to the interview.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A New Creation
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Insp3/BeNew.html
John w/ How Great Thou Art
http://heavens-gates.com/howgreatthouart/
Choose His Children?
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/choosehischildren.html
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html
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Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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Surfin Surfari
D.A.R.E Site
http://www.dare-america.com/
Beyond News - Debka
http://www.debka.com/
Highway To Hell!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dirt.html
GasBuddy.com - Find Low Gas Prices Via Dianne
http://gasbuddy.com/
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Web Of Trust
http://www.mywot.com
Use Videos As A Screensaver Or Wallpaper Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/q2p4cr
Free Printable Recipe Cards Via Wesley
http://www.freeprintablerecipecards.net/category/new
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.photocartoonist.com/funnies/catdance1.html
Kitty Korner
Cat In a Box!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catinbox.html
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Movie Links
Talking Italian
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81829.htm
Tattoo Remover
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81830.htm
Rocking Horse Ride
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81831.htm
063
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8291.htm
Blind Man Levis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8292.htm
How to get jail time for a speeding ticket
http://www.buffaloschips.com/65r7.htm
Hrbtno
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ujyg687.htm
Ice fishing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkljlkjo.htm
If my nose was running money
http://www.buffaloschips.com/huyu.htm
Important Message
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jkjhjgh.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tony Chips
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A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
and
you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on South
Brooklyn Tony.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."
Then South Brooklyn Tony says, "I have a question for YOU. There are
3
women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking
the
sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down
the
top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which South Brooklyn Tony replied, "The correct answer is 'the
one
with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Huge Enemys
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30843.htm
He Likes you
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30844.htm
Did it hurt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30845.htm
Herbert
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30846.htm
Be Polite
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30847.htm
Hillbilly
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30848.htm
Burning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30849.htm
Hold your Load
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30850.htm
Sports Finger
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32801.htm
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Dying Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has
told him he only has 24 hous to live.
Given the prognosis, Ralph asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she
agrees,
and they make love.
About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,
"Honey,
you know I only have 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one
more
time?"
Of course, the wife agrees and they do it again. Later as Ralph gets
in
to bed, he looks at his watch and realizes he only has 8 hours left.
He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, " Honey, please...just one
more
time before I die?"
She says, "Of course, dear." And they make love for the third time.
After this session the wife rolls over and falls asleep.
Ralph, however, worried about his impending death, tosses & turns
until
he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I
have
only 4 more hours. Do you think we could...?
At this point his wife sits up and says, "Listen Ralph, I have to
get up
in the morning...You don't."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Priest was seated next to a Newfie on a flight to St. John's.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The Newfie asked for a Lambs rum and Pepsi, which was brought and
placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a
drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen
whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The Newfie then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me
too. I didn't know we had a choice"
Harveythefrogprince
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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