THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
O, it is excellent
To have a giant's strength;
but it is tyrannous
To use it like a giant.
Shakespear,
Measure by Measure
Good morning postman fans!
My son told me, Dad, I would like to have a tattoo.
I told him No, nobody has one in our family ...
and you are not having one.
He asked me, Why not ? All my friends have a tattoo !
I told him, It would be a stain on your body !
He pleaded with me, Dad, please, please,
just a Cartoon Character on the belly ?
And after many hours of discussion
I gave in and decided to let him.
After all, he was a young man with
his own freedom of choice ...
and I thought ...
a Cartoon Character is probably not so bad !
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
the cups
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y060.html
board room
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y061.html
we bested them
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y062.html
sorry miss
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y063.html
goose bumps
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y064.html
power is off
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y065.html
Vctoria?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y066.html
air pumps
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y067.html
anal retentive
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y068.html
snake rides
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y069.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Copy Machines, a Security Risk?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9574.html
Hilarious Game show bloopers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9575.html
Japanese TV car commercial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9576.html
Top 10 Biggest and Best Jumps Ever
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9577.html
Twisted Version Of "Born To Be Wild"
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9578.html
_______________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
people photos
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd066.html
12 toes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd067.html
the big mac
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd068.html
a bigger boat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd069.html
The 98 year old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying.
The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last
journey comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to
drink but she refused.Then one of the nuns took the
glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish
Whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas,
she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm
milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass
to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little bit
more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass.
"Mother", the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us
some wisdom before you die".She raised herself up in bed
and with a pious look on her face said, 'DON'T SELL THAT COW'!
______________
Before his 2001 inauguration, George Bush was invited
to a get acquainted tour of the White House.
After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked
Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.
When he entered Clinton's personal bathroom, he was
astonished to see that President Clinton had a solid
gold urinal.That afternoon, George told his wife,
Laura, about the urinal."Just think," he said,
"When I am president, I could have a gold urinal too.
But I wouldn't do something that self-indulgent!"
Later when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour
of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed
George had been at his discovery of the fact that,
in the President's private bathroom, the President
had a gold urinal.That evening, when Bill and Hillary
were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled,
and said to Bill....
"I found out who Pissed in your Saxophone."
______________
A Greek and Italian were talking one day discussing who
had the superior culture. Over coffee the Greek says,
"Well, we have the Parthenon."
The Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to mathematics."
The Italian, nodding, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."
And, so on and so on until the Greek comes
up with what he thinks will end the
discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented
sex!"The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was
the Italians who introduced it to women."
______________
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the
hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone
else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: 'Hello'
WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'
MAN: 'Yes'
WOMAN: 'I am at the shops now and found this beautiful
leather coat. It's only $2, 000. Is it OK if I buy it?'
MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'
WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw
the new Models. I saw one I really liked.'
MAN: 'How much?'
WOMAN: ' $90,000'
MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'
WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted
last year is back on the market. They're asking $ 980,000'
MAN: 'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $ 900,000.
They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 80
thousand if it's really a pretty good deal.'
WOMAN: 'OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!'
MAN: 'Bye! I love you, too.'
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring
at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'
____________
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to
replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor
suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds,
so the community could become used to a new doctor.
At the first house a woman complains, 'I've been a little
sick to my stomach.'The older doctor says, 'Well, you've
probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back
on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?'
As they left, the younger man said, 'You didn't even
examine that woman? How'd you come to the diagnosis so
quickly?''I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my
stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick
it up, I noticed a half-dozen banana peels in the trash.
That was what probably was making her sick.'
'Huh,' the younger doctor said 'Pretty clever, I think
I'll try that at the next house.'
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes
talking with a younger woman. She complained that she just
didn't have the energy she once did and said, 'I'm feeling
terribly run down lately.'
'You've probably been doing too much work for the Church,'
the younger doctor told her.
'Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.'
As they left, the elder doctor said, 'I know that woman well,
your diagnosis is almost certainly correct,
but how did you arrive at it?'
'I did what you did at the last house, I dropped my
stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it,
I noticed the preacher under the bed.'
BUFFALO BILL
Simmons
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90901.htm
Poor Mailman
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90902.htm
Cute Doctor
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90903.htm
________________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Middle Aged Women Should Stay At Home
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000957.html
Mig Kill
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000958.html
Milk Commercial
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000959.html
THAT's ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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