THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow
is a mystery. And today is a gift.
That is why it is called the present
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Today is the annual "blessing of the bikes".
and once again, it is just too chilly for a decent
bike ride. This happens every year. They hold the event
in the beginning of the season, and it is too bone chillin
for the olde phartes like me. Sigh. oh well. I was out
and about for the day yesterday. sunny, even if it was a
tad on the cool side. I ended up in Morley. Thats a real
hoppin kinda place. you betcha. A gas station, the feed
store across the street, and a couple houses. that's about
it. Oh. and theres the Mo-zy inn bar and grill. The sign
said bikers welcome and I have to admit, they served up
a pretty nice patty melt for lunch and also had their own
little local brew. which was not bad. Spent a little time
shooting the bull with a bunch who called themsselves
"The flying hammers" out of Detroit. nice bunch of guys.
Over all, it was a good afternoon. Looking forward to
another one today.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
THE COMICS
believe me I'm sorry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z060.html
toilet mug
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z061.html
swim race
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z062.html
last in service
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z063.html
don't bitch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z064.html
excuse me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z065.html
oh shit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z066.html
how much
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z067.html
shaggin sheep
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z068.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES!
Thank Your Military
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9620.html
marshmellow murder
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9621.html
The Best Commercial Ever
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9622.html
Pine sol
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9623.html
over weight?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9624.html
swing it!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9625.html
___________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
unusual churches
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd086.html
thong rules
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd087.html
A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in
Sydney's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on
display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze
sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting
and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop
owner what it costs. Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,"
says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars
more for the story behind it. "You can keep the story,
old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat."
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the
store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses
the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge
from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him.
Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk
faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain,
more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's
walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his
heels,and people begin to point and shout. He walks
even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes
of rats swarm from sewers, basements,vacant lots, and
abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels,
and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill,
he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast
he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not
just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes
rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city
blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps
up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he
hurls the bronze rat into Sydney harbor with the other,
as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging
to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething
tide of rats surges over the edge into the harbor ,
where they drown. Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back
to the antique shop. "Ah, so you've come back for the rest of
the story," says the owner. "No," says the tourist.
"I was wondering if you have a bronze lawyer."
____________
Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb had been friends all of
their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb
visited her every day. One day Barb said, 'Rose, we both
loved playing women's softball all our lives, and we played
all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you
get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's
softball there.' Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed
and said, 'Barb, you've been my best friend for many years.
If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.' Shortly
after that, Rose passed on. A few nights later, Barb was
awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white
light and a voice calling out to her, 'Barb, Barb.' 'Who is it?',
asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. 'Who is it?'
'Barb -- it's me, Rose.'
'You're not Rose. Rose just died.'
'I'm telling you, it's me, Rose,' insisted the voice.
'Rose! Where are you?'
'In Heaven,' replied Rose. 'I have some really good news
and a little bad news.'
'Tell me the good news first,' said Barb.
'The good news,' Rose said, 'is that there's softball in
Heaven. Better yet all of our old buddies who died
before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young
again. Better still, it's always springtime, and
it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball
all we want, and we never get tired.'
'That's fantastic,' said Barb. 'It's beyond my wildest dreams!
So what's the bad news?' 'You're pitching Tuesday.'
____________
A man went into a grocery store, got 3 cans of dog food,
and walked up to the checkout counter.
The cashier asks the man, "Sir, do you own a dog?"
The man replies, "Yes I do."
The cashier then asks, "Do you have the dog with you?"
The man replies, "No, I left it at home."
The cashier then says, "I'm sorry, but I can't sell you
this dog food unless I see your dog."
A few days later the man walks into the same store, gets 3
cans of cat food, and walks up to the checkout counter.
The same cashier asks, "Sir, do you own a cat?"
The man replies, "Yes I do."
The cashier then asks, "Do you have your cat with you?"
And the man replies, "No, I left it at home."
Then the cashier says, "I'm sorry, but I can't sell you this
cat food unless I see your cat."
A few days later the man walks into the store, this time
carrying a paper bag. He walks up to the same cashier, and
asks him to put his hand into the bag.
The cashier says, "It feels warm, soft, and gooey."
The man then says, "Now, can I go back and get 3 rolls of toilet paper?"
____________
Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit
school and work to help support his younger brothers and
sisters. He never learned to read, so when he married and
started a checking account, he signed his checks simply "XX".
Eventually he started his own business, which immediately prospered.
He soon was a very rich man. One day, he got a call from his
bank. "Mr. Schwartz," said the banker, "I need to ask you about
this check. We weren't sure you had really signed it. All these
years you've been signing your checks `XX', but we just got one
that was signed with three XXX's..."
Mr. Schwartz answered, "No problem, my friend. It's just that
since I've become so wealthy, my wife thought
I ought to have a middle name."
__________
A little boy came home from playing outside one day. He was huffing
and puffing, like he was winded. All of sudden, the boy's father
heard a kitten squalling like it was extremely uncomfortable. He
turned around and looked. Sure enough, there's his son -- holding a
kitten - obviously no more than 6 weeks old! "What have you got
there, son?"
"It's especially for you, Dad," the boy replied.
The father asked, "What do you mean?"
"Remember the other night, you told Mom you wanted 'a little pussy?'
"Well, I heard you, and I went out and got you one!"
BUFFALO BILL
Bob & Tom Around The World Series
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8293.htm
Boob Job
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8294.htm
Borrowing The Old Mans Car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8295.htm
____________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Monkey On Motorbike
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000978.html
Monthly Man
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000979.html
Moon Job
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000980.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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