Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Boy that dream the other night sure was realistic. I checked
my mail and went to bed about 0300 with the lights and TV
still on because Buffy was at my computer desk playing
Perfect World with her buddies. No biggie as I can sleep
anywhere, anytime, just ask my college professors. Next
thing that happened was a monster at the foot of the bed tried
to bite my foot so I kicked at it and it attacked again and
I kicked again. The third time I gave it a really good kick
and it spoke to me in Sandy's voice and said, " If you are going
to keep kicking me I am going back to my room. According to
her version, she had sat down on my bed to talk to Buffy and
I had just started to kick her. She could be telling the truth
or is she really a shape shifting monster who was trying to
eat my feet. I don't know but I am watching her. heh heh.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Canada Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
David Letterman's Top 10 Canadian Euphemisms For Sex:
10. Playing mountie
9. Fur trapping
8. Making Peg whinny
7. Entering parliament
6. Pulling the goalie
5. Doin' it, eh?
4. Putting the "man" in Manitoba
3. High sticking
2. Stuffing a beaver -- the beaver is our national animal
1. Oh, Oh, Oh Canada
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
under the bed
http://www.thepostm
welcome to hell
http://www.thepostm
what happened
http://www.thepostm
McDonalds Fishing
http://sydesjokes.
MD80 Heavy Landing
http://sydesjokes.
Mega Roller Coaster
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the
16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it slices
into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his
ball and comes across this little guy with a huge lump on his head
and the golf ball lying right beside him. "Goodness," says the
golfer. then proceeds to revive the poor little guy. Upon
awakening, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and
square. I am a leprechaun, and I will grant you three wishes." The
man says "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't
hurt you too badly," and walks away.
Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thinks to himself "Well,
he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do
something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would
want. I'll give him unlimited money (so he'll never have to go
without a pint of ale), a great golf game and a great sex life."
A few weeks later the Irishman is out golfing again. As he's
walking to the 16th green, he hears a voice calling him from the
woods. He walks over, and sees the leprechaun again. He asks how
his head is feeling.
The leprechaun says, "Oh, I'm fine. And might I ask how your golf
game is?" The golfer says, "It's funny you should ask, but it's been
amazing.
It seems I can't miss anymore!" "I did that for you," responds the
leprechaun, "And might I ask how your money is holding out?" "Well,
now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket, I
pull out a twenty dollar bill" he replied. The leprechaun smiles
and says, "I did that for you, too. And might I ask how your love
life is?" Now the golfer looks around, as if to be sure that no one
else can hear and says in a low voice, "Well, it's been okay." "Just
okay?" the leprechaun asks. "How often do you have sex?" "Oh, maybe
once or twice a week."
Floored, the leprechaun stammers, "Only once or twice a week?" The
golfer replies, "Well, that's really not bad for a Catholic priest
in a small parish."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Homeless Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Homeless Guy Signs
"Father was killed my ninjas. Need money for karate lessons."
"16 wives, 7, hungry dogs, 3 thin cats, 25 kids and still
horny. Please help with loose change."
"Will code html for food."
"Will eat for food."
"Need cash for alcohol research."
"Saving up for a hooker."
"Time traveler needs money for new flux capacitor."
"I'm like Obama, I want change."
"Sorry, I'm blind. Can I feel your tits?"
"My wife has been kidnapped. I'm short 99 cents for ransom."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Confession Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were these three nuns and they were tired of being good all of
the time, so they went to the priest and asked if they could be bad
for
one day. He said that they could do one thing wrong but they had to
come straight back and tell him what they did.
The first nun comes back, and the priest asked, "And what did you do
wrong, Sister?"
"I spiked the fruit punch at the bingo ."
"Very well, go drink holy water."
The Second nun comes back shortly afterwards.
"And what did you do wrong, Sister?" he asks again.
"I mooned a monk, and nearly gave him a heart attack."
"Very well, go drink holy water."
Just then the third nun comes up to the priest and again he asks,
"And
what did you do wrong, Sister?"
"I peed in the holy water."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Time Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A well-dressed business man was walking down the street when Little
Johnny, covered in soot said to him respectfully, "Sir, can you tell
me
the time?"
The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat and jacket,
removed a large watch from a vest pocket, looked at it and said, "It
is
a quarter to three, young man."
"Thanks," said Johnny. "At exactly three o'clock you can kiss my
ass."
With that, the kid took off running, and with an angry cry, the
outraged
businessman started chasing him. He has not been running long when
an
old friend stopped him. "Why are you running like this at your age?"
asked the friend.
Gasping and almost incoherent with fury, the business man said,
"That
little brat asked me the time and when I told him it was quarter to
three he told me that at exactly three, I should kiss his ass!"
"So what's your hurry?" said the friend. "You still have ten
minutes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/Love For You
http://www.silveran
Marlene / Mothers At Rest / Happy mother's day
http://summerhoosie
Have A Rooting Tooting Day
http://www.angel9oh
John w/ Mama Liked The Roses
http://heavens-
Give Me Flowers
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Surfin Surfari
1960 Flashback
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Backyard:Remodeling and Home Improvement Ideas
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Underwater River In Mexico
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Miracle In Utah
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
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As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
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morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Wesley
Add Online Images To Your Digital Photo Frame
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Make Your Own Badge
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Create Graffiti Style Writings
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Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Links
Alabama Death Penalty Execution
http://www.buffalos
Aussie Beaches
http://www.buffalos
Baseball Flash
http://www.buffalos
Best Pool Shot By A Naked White Chick
http://www.buffalos
Best Work Boot
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Korokurum Bridges
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Look
http://www.buffalos
Microsoft No More Keyboards
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uh 60 IN mOSUL
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Muschel
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My son often leaves yellow sticky messages for me on my computer
monitor, things like "I need pencils" or "PTA wants money" All
manner of semi-important things I generally need reminding of get
posted this way. It works. I usually take care of the message
right away, or by days end if at all possible. One day I went to
the computer and found a yellow Post-it with the following note; "My
Dixie wrecked." I read it a few times but whatever it meant refused
to sink in. I tried putting it out of my mind but it kept coming
back. My Dixie wrecked, my dixie wrecked... Wierd how that
puzzling note refused to leave my awareness...
to the back of my mind and play over and over but never would it
leave. I'd bring it to the front of my attention and review it
closely; My Dixie wrecked. Hmmm. I got up for coffee and muttered
to myself; "My Dixie wrecked" I wonder what that means? I even said
it out loud a few times; "My Dixie wrecked!
What's the meaning of that? I even asked my Mom; I said to her; "My
Dixie wrecked. What does that mean? I'd change the accents;
my-dixie-
Wrecked. My-dixie-wrecked. My-Dixie-wrecked. It was driving me
nuts.
My son finally got home from school and I blurted out... "My Dicks
Erect! What the hell does that mean?" My son is such a creep.
Sometimes I think he's even better than me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
boob heart
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boob study
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boob wash
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boobie trap
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boob job
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boob job shirt
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young man named Macgruder,
Who had a fair lass and he woo'ed her.
She thought it lewd,
To be woo'ed in the nude,
But Macgruder was shrewder and screwed her.
Her thighs were all covered with cream,
Her breasts with sweet honey a-gleam...
But too good to be true
This sex cordon bleu,
He awoke with two spurts from his dream.
They say that the way to mens hearts
Is good food from soup to tarts
A chocolate eclair
Will stiffen him there
But too much will give him the farts
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The prof was telling his early morning class, "I've found
that the best way to start the day is to exercise for five
minutes, take a deep breath of air, and then finish with
a cold shower. Then I feel rosy all over." A sleepy voice
from the back of the room said, "Tell us more about Rosy!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1783
Hand to Hand Kombat err Foot to Foot Kombat
Rudy: Okay today we learn to wrestle. Tag team.
Val: Okay it will be Rudy and I...
Rudy: No, it will be Sandi and I against Katie and you.
Val: But Katie and I do not weigh half as much as you alone.
Rudy: You must use your brain as much as your brawn.
Katie shaking: Gulp!
Sandi: In the ring Rudy and Val.
Val: What are the rules?
Rudy laughing, rules?
Val: Heeelp!
Rudy gently sits on Val who after a bit manages to get
away and starts to run around the ring trying to reach for
Katie's paw. Katie is holding her paw back polishing her
nails.
Katie: Hang in there for about five more minutes, I must
let my nails dry.
Val: I will be dead in five minutes.
Katie: Tut tut, do not over dramatize everything.
Rudy tags Sandi who enters the ring. Val is terrified.
Sandi comes up to Val and smiles. Remember how you
feel now. This is how you should make your enemy feel when
you get grown up and learn how to fight. We, Rudy and I
are not getting any younger. You must learn to defend the
house and the family.
Val: I think I understand.
Sandi puts a paw on her shoulder. We are tough on your
so you can be soft when it is time to be soft and stand
and when it is time to stand. The hard part is learning
the difference.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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