Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I know 4 years old make a lot of noises but either Eva is
a lot louder than Buffy was or my hearing has improved
over the years. Yesterday I was on the phone doing some
business and Eva turned a video on and started singing
at the top of her voice along with it so I closed it to hear
the phone. A few minutes later she had it back on cranked
up even louder. So I turned it back off gave her my stare that
used to make Buffy freeze and said, " You're cruising for a
butt-bruising." She returned my stare with a glare and said, "
I dare you." Oh Oh had my bluff called by a four year old, I
am losing my touch.
Enjoy your weekend .... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Want a Better Way to Bank? Join 10 Million Green Dot(R) Customers.
*No Overdraft or Penalty Fees
*No Credit Check
*FREE Withdrawals at over 15,000 Participating ATMs
*No Activation Fee
Get it Now!
http://buffaloschips.com/dot
Green Dot(R) Prepaid
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lab Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three Labrador retrievers-one brown, one yellow and one black-were
sitting
in the waiting room at the vet's office when they struck up a
conversation.
The black lab turned to the brown and said, "So why are you here?"
The brown lab replied, "I'm a wetter. I wet on everything-the sofa,
the
drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I
wet in
the middle of my owner's bed."
The black lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"
"Gonna give me Prozac," came the reply from the brown lab. "All the
vets are
prescribing it. It works for everything."
The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are you
here?"
The yellow lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up
flowers and
trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the
carpets.
But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in
my
owner's couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired.
"Looks like Prozac for me too," the dejected yellow lab said.
The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "Why are you
at the
vet's office?"
"I'm a humper," the black lab said "I'll hump anything. I'll hump
the cat, a
pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want to hump
everything I see.
Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending
down to
dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back
and
started humping away."
The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So,
Prozac for
you too, huh?"
The black lab said, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Monkey Chaperone
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000975.html
Monkey In The Trunk
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000976.html
Monkey Karate
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000977.html
humpty dumpty
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z054.html
fast
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z055.html
areyou sure
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z056.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The husband reluctantly agreed to play in the couples alternate
shot tournament at his club. He teed off on the first hole, a
par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards down the middle of the
fairway.
Upon reaching the ball, the husband said to his wife, "Just hit
it toward the green, anywhere around there will be fine."
The wife proceeded to shank the ball deep into the woods.
Undaunted, the husband said "That's ok sweetheart." He then spent
the next ten minutes looking for the ball. He finally found it,
but in a horrible position. He played the shot of his life, and
got the ball within two feet of the hole!
"Just tap it in now, honey." he said to his wife.
She then proceeded to knock the ball past the hole, off the green,
and into a bunker!
Maintaining his composure, the husband summoned all of his skill
and holed the shot from the bunker! He retrieved the ball and,
while walking off the green, put his arm around his wife and said,
very calmly, "Honey, well we managed to salvage that hole, and
I'm sure we can do better on the next hole."
To which she replied, "I certainly hope so! And just remember,
only 2 of those 5 shots were mine!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iRenew - New energy for life
Restore Balance, Strength, and Energy to you life instantly. iRenew
Bracelet is an innovation into the future of healthier living.
Experience the new science of wellness with this energy medicine.
iRenew is the newest, most powerful energy balancing technology
available today.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/irenew
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baby Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were these two gay guys who decide they want to have a baby.
So they find an obliging lesbian, have her impregnated by sperm
donation, and are simply thrilled when she gives birth to a seven
pound baby boy.
They rush to the hospital for the first viewing of their son,
standing with their noses pressed against the glass of the nursery
window and surveying row upon row of crying infants. Except for one
quiet, clean little baby, cooing softly to itself amid all the
chaos.
Sure enough, when the gays ask to see their son, the nurse heads for
the quiet baby and brings him over for the proud parents to ogle.
"Gee," said one of them to the nurse, "he sure is well behaved
compared to the rest of those howling brats, isn't he?"
"Oh, he's quiet now," said the nurse, "but he screams like all the
rest when I take the pacifier out of his ass."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HughesNet - Satellite Internet
Get High Speed Broadband Internet Access-FREE Installation
America's #1 Satellite Internet Service Provider
No Phone Line Required-Available Anywhere!
Up to 50x Faster than Dial Up-Quickly Download Pictures, Music &
Videos
Works for Both Macs and PCs
Choose the Service Plan that Works for YOU
Payment Options-Discounts-Satisfaction Guaranteed
Hurry, Limited Time Offer!
http://buffaloschips.com/hughes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bingo Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO YOU FALL ASLEEP DURING MEETINGS OR SEMINARS?
Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? Here's a way
to
change all that.
1. Before your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare
yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5"x 5" is a good size.
Divide the card into columns - five across and five down. That will
give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
* synergy
* strategic fit
* core competencies
* best practice
* bottom line
* revisit
* take that off-line
* 24/7
* out of the loop
* benchmark
* value-added
* proactive
* win-win
* think outside the box
* fast track
* result-driven
* empower (or empowerment)
* knowledge base
* at the end of the day
* touch base
* mind set
* incentive
* realign
* game plan
* leverage
3. With your square neatly prepared, get ready to play "BULLSHIT
BINGO".
Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those
words/phrases
spoken by the speaker.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally,
stand up and shout..."BULLSHIT!" Probably quietly if you value your
job!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over stuffed closets driving you mad?
Spacebag Underbed Closet instantly triples your closet space by
storing everything under your bed. Spacebag Underbed Closet holds up
to 16 pairs of shoes and 24 sweaters, blouses or shirts. Pick yours
up today.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschips.com/spcbg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baseball Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day a man went to England on a trip and
met a woman there, they grew to like each other
enough for her to come to America with the man
on his flight home. When they got back to America
the man said "I would like to show you an American
pastime."
The woman said, "What is it?"
"Baseball," the man said.
The next day, the man took her to a baseball
game. The first man came up to the plate and
hit the ball to right field and got to first base, the
next man bunted the ball and beat the throw to
first base. The third man came up to the plate
and he gets walked.
The man says, "Are you understanding this game?"
The woman says, "Yes, but what I don't understand
is why the thrower hurls the ball at the first player,
and he hits it. then he hurls the ball at the second
player, and he taps it and runs to where the other
man was standing And then the third player, this is
the part I don't understand, the thrower hurls the ball
and he just stands there - 4 times - and then he just
walks to the place where the other man was standing."
Then the man says, "Well that is because he has four balls."
The woman says "Poor thing he couldn't run if he tried."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you on Medicare and Living with Diabetes?
If you have Diabetes, our Medicare Guide has a special section
related to your specific benefits and the pitfalls you should avoid.
Millions of Americans have diabetes and go on to lead healthy,
normal lives through proper nutrition, diligent monitoring and
adequate exercise. Learn how to take control of the disease so it
doesn't control you. If you qualify, products such as Meters, Test
Strips, and Lancets are available to you at little or no cost.
For a limited time, those who qualify will receive a free glucose
meter!
Go to http://buffaloschips.com/medsup
to sign up and request your free diabetic's guide to Medicare to
find out if you qualify.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Ice Cream Parlor Blues
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Misc2/IceCream.html
Art Linkletter and The Kids 1
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/Videos/artlinkletterkids1.html
Art Linkletter and The Kids 2
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/Videos/artlinkletterkids2.html
Wild Bear Release http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bearrelease.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
How To Annoy People
http://www.getannoyed.com/
Movie Mistakes
http://www.moviemistakes.com/
Hiking In China
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trail.html
Desert Skiing
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desertskiing.html
Beautiful Bridges
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bridges.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Windows Tutes
http://www.baycongroup.com/
Movie Maker Tips
http://www.windowsmoviemakers.net/Tutorials/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.travelingdogs.com/
Kitty Korner
http://www.siamesekitties.com/humor.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschips.com/restore
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Bob & Tom Around The World Series
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8293.htm
Boob Job
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8294.htm
Borrowing The Old Mans Car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8295.htm
Gay Weatherman
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8296.htm
Hot Moments
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8297.htm
Impossible
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjkhyui.htm
Jet Engine
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjki.htm
John McCain
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjjhiu.htm
Korean
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dweewed.htm
Larry The Cable Guy 111
http://www.buffaloschips.com/srwewe.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made
while he
was performing colonoscopies:
"Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone
before."
"Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
"Can you hear me NOW?"
"Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
"You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
"Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
"You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the
Hokey
Pokey...."
"Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
"If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
"Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
"You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
"Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not,
in fact,
up there?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhere In America
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32802.htm
Amish Gone Bad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32803.htm
Pregnant
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32804.htm
Disgusting
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32805.htm
Bob Barker
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32806.htm
Forty Beavs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32807.htm
Cats In Heat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32808.htm
What Happened
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32809.htm
Have Some!
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32810.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stop Using Dirty Catheters!
Join Medical Direct Club Today!
FREE Sample Catheter!
-Little or No Cost to You* - FREE SHIPPING - FREE MEMBERSHIP
Visit:
http://buffaloschips.com/mdc
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JACK AND JILL
Jack and Jill Went up the hill,
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass,
And now two of his front teeth are missing.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill,
Each one had a quarter.
Jill came down with fifty cents,
Do you think they went for water?
Jack and Jill went up the hill
For a bit of hanky panky,
Jill came back with a very sore crack,
Jack must have been a Yankee!
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
For just an itty bitty.
Jill is now two months overdue,
And Jack has left the city.
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Jill forgot to take the pill,
So now they've got a daughter.
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
With a little keg of brandy.
Jack got stewed, Jill got screwed,
Now it's Jack, and Jill, and Andy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amazing New Stretch-To-Fit Food Covers Free Sample Pack Available
CoverMate stretch-to-fit food covers are the quick and easy way to
save food and keep it fresh.
The built in flex ban stretches over any dish, bowl or plate in
seconds for the perfect seal.
CovermMate food covers are reusable and dishwasher safe.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschips.com/strcov
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rodney sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad
news first or the terrible news?" asked the lawyer.
"Give me the bad news first."
"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."
"That's the bad news?" asked Rodney incredulously. "I
can't wait to hear the terrible news."
"It's of you and your mistress."
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hoveround has been helping people regain their mobility for over 17
years and we want to help you get your independence back. We
believe that everyone should be free to get out and explore the
world, even if they're on a tight budget.
Did you know that 9 out of 10 Hoveround owners got their power
wheelchair at little to no cost*? It's true! There are no claim
forms to fill out and no upfront costs if you qualify.
Get your Complimentary Information Kit here:
http://buffaloschips.com/hove
Upon receipt of your information we will send you a complimentary
no-obligation information kit with DVD. Once again, there are no
costs to qualify. Don't wait to regain your mobility and your
freedom - ACT NOW because life in a Hoveround is BETTER ALL AROUND.
Sincerely,
Thomas E. Kruse
President and Founder
Hoveround Corporation
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1791
Val Gets It!
Tami has just finished washing her car and started to rub her car
down
when sprinkles of water appear upon the car.
Tami: Rain? It was not in the forecast. Darn it I just washed my
car.
Tami starts to head for the house when the water hose is turned full
blast upon her.
Tami: Hey what the?
She tries to look but through her water soaked eyes all she thinks
she
can see is a streak of black dashing away.
Tami: Can't be Katie.
Katie is holding a towel.
Katie: Ma'am may I be of the slightest assistance?
Tami: Did you have anything to do this?
Katie: I swear upon my mother's grave, I did not.
Tami: Well thank you for the towel.
Katie: Did you see who did this?
Tami: Not really, I thought I saw a black streak.
Katie: Hmmm
To be continued
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment