Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I have felt strange all day. I got up early this morning and started
in on the mail but the sun was shining with only a little breeze
blowing and since I couldn't concentrate I decided to go out and
do some shopping instead and three stores and a couple of
hundred dollars later I was back home and got together a working
party to unload the Suburban. I really enjoy shopping even when I
have to bag my own groceries because it gives you something to
clear your mind as you balance what you are putting in your basket
against a running inventory of what's in the freezer and pantry and
then figure out what meals you can make from them. That takes
care of the daily question of what to take out for supper when I
can give Sandy one or two choices instead of whatever. I had
too many meals of whatever over the past 30 years and this way
works better. We settled on a good batch of chili and supper is out
of the way and I am free to work on the lists and watch the Tigers
and Yankees.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Agent Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The agent of a beautiful actress discovered one day that the actress
had been selling her body for 100 dollars a night. The agent, who
had long lusted after her, hadn't dreamed that she had been so
easily obtainable.
He approached her, told her how much she turned him on, and how much
he wanted to make it with her.
She agreed to spend the night with him but said that he would have
to pay her the same 100 dollars that the other customers did.
He scratched his head, considered it, and then asked, "Don't I even
get my agent's 10% as a deduction?"
"No, siree," she said. "If you want it, you're going to have to pay
full price for it just like the other Johns."
The agent didn't like that at all, but he agreed.
That night, she came to his apartment after her performance at a
local nightclub. The agent did her at midnight, after turning out
all the lights.
At 1 a.m., she was awakened again. And again, she was vigorously
done.
In a little while, she was awakened again, and again she was made
love to again. The actress was impressed with her lover's vitality.
"My goodness," she whispered in the dark, "you are so virile. I
never realized how lucky I was to have you for my agent."
"I'm not your agent, lady," a strange voice answered. "He's at the
door selling tickets."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
dont give a fuck
http://www.thepostm
a hobby
http://www.thepostm
kitchen accesories
http://www.thepostm
Miller Lite - Eat The Yellow Snow
http://sydesjokes.
Mini Machine Gun
http://sydesjokes.
Miss Nightingale
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Murray had a new flame, and before long they had a difference of
opinion. "I don't like the way you're carrying on with other guys,"
he ranted, "That must stop!" "Calm down, Murray," she replied,
"There's no reason for you to flip. Listen, don't I always let you
take me to shows?" "Yeah." "And to dinner?" "That's right." "And
don't I let you buy me flowers and clothes, and other gifts?"
"Yeah." "So what are you getting excited about," she assured him, "I
only use the other guys for love-making.
Mary, despite her good looks and charm, had still never dated any
boys at the age of 19. Today she was asking her aunt Martha for
advice with boys. "Aunt Martha," she started, "I've just started
French kissing Tommy and I need to know where the spit should go. I
don't want to dribble on my boyfriend." "Swallow." Her aunt advised.
"This will make you even more popular later on."
The English teacher of the girls school used to fail all her
students who did not put a full-stop at the end of their sentences.
I guess, she really hated it when her girls missed their periods.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stop Using Dirty Catheters!
Join Medical Direct Club Today!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abbreviated Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Email Abbreviations Defined Abbreviation #1: whrthfckuben?
Previously long phrase: "Goodness, it's been a long time since we've
chatted, hasn't it?"
Abbreviation #2: utypliksht
Previously long phrase: "Say, have you heard that there is a new
Evelyn Wood's speed-typing course?"
Abbreviation #3: ugoturhdupyrass?
Previously long phrase: "Are you sure about that?"
Abbreviation #4: sowenugtoutofjail?
Previously long phrase: "So, what have you been up to lately, Bugs?"
Abbreviation #5: tkurabbrevsandshuve
Previously long phrase: "Wouldn't you rather just type the whole
phrase out?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Get More Info
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Picture Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes to a Psychologist and says,
"Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking
about sex."
The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what
we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots.
"What is this a picture of?" he asks.
The man turns the picture upside down then
turns it around and states, "That's a man and
a woman on a bed making love."
The Psychologist says, "very interesting, "
and shows the next picture. "And what is this a
picture of?"
The man looks and turns it in different directions
and says, "That's a man and a woman on a bed
making love."
The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot,
and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?"
The patient again turns it in all directions and replies,
"That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."
The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to
be obsessed with sex."
"Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who
keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Learn More
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Genie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jill meets Nadine for lunch.. "You're looking very tired today,
Nadine.
Did you have a late night?"
"Yes," replies Nadine, "but it was all very strange. While doing
some
gardening yesterday, I found a lamp, so I rubbed it and out popped a
genie. He gave me a choice of two wishes."
"Wow," says Jill, "so what were the choices he gave you, Nadine?"
"He said he could either give me an excellent, sharp, 100% memory or
else he could give my boyfriend a bigger penis."
"So tell me already, Nadine, what did you choose?"
"I can't remember," replies Nadine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limited time offer so act now.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Peace Be Still
http://silverandgol
SINGER AND ACTRESS LENA HORNE DIES AT 92
http://deathbeeper.
Pictures To Ponder
http://www.shangral
Blood On The Cross
http://www.poetryby
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Boeing Tanker
http://www.unitedst
Bypass Automated Answering Machines
http://www.dialahum
Online Music Chart
http://wearehunted.
Bolivia's Road Of Death
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Data Recovery
http://webtrickz.
Keyboard Shortcuts
http://support.
XP Tweaks
http://www.kellys-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.marvista
Kitty Korner
http://www.safehave
Nigerian Dwarf Goat
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
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You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
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you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Voting Ad
http://www.buffalos
Argument Settled
http://www.buffalos
Been Married To long
http://www.buffalos
Beer Diet
http://www.buffalos
Beer
http://www.buffalos
Bowling Bloopers
http://www.buffalos
Boy & Labrador
http://www.buffalos
Brass Pole
http://www.buffalos
Bud Light Wheel
http://www.buffalos
Brownie
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
500 Dollar Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman was walking down the street when she
was approached by a man. The man said, "I must
have you right now! I'll drop 500 dollars on the
ground at your feet and in the time it takes for you
to pick it up I can have my way with you from behind!"
The woman thought it over and told the man to wait
a minute. She called her girlfriend on her cell phone
and told her about the man's proposition.
Her girlfriend said, "When he drops the $500 on the
ground I'm sure you can pick it up and run before
he gets his pants down. Call me back and tell me
what happened."
An hour and a half later the lady had still not called
back so her friend called her, "What happened?"
the girlfriend asked.
The lady said, "That S.O.B. had $500 in quarters!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just Once
http://www.buffalos
IRS
http://www.buffalos
It Fits
http://www.buffalos
Crane
http://www.buffalos
Marriage Penalty
http://www.buffalos
Coffee Break
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limited time offer so act now.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was an odious brute
Who made love in his Sunday-best suit.
The result, as you'd guess,
Was a wet, sticky mess,
And a very chaifed maiden to boot.
George Carlin is really a wit
With his seven words that give censors the fit(s)
They are shit, mother fucker
Piss and cock sucker
And don't forget cunt fuck and tit(s)
I found a young harlot named Tessa,
Introduced her to our professor,
"Now prof, to learn more,
About sexual lore,
The first thing to do is undress 'er."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hoveround has been helping people regain their mobility for over 17
years and we want to help you get your independence back. We
believe that everyone should be free to get out and explore the
world, even if they're on a tight budget.
Did you know that 9 out of 10 Hoveround owners got their power
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Get your Complimentary Information Kit here:
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Upon receipt of your information we will send you a complimentary
no-obligation information kit with DVD. Once again, there are no
costs to qualify. Don't wait to regain your mobility and your
freedom - ACT NOW because life in a Hoveround is BETTER ALL AROUND.
Sincerely,
Thomas E. Kruse
President and Founder
Hoveround Corporation
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Primal Urges
A high-ranking general attended a national ceremony. During the
recess, he was introduced to three ladies, who acted as ushers. One
of them, brought the general to a "rock-hard" condition. So he had
to hug each of them as an excuse to make contact with the lassie.
The lady detected the condition the general was subject to and
shoved the general away from her, stating, "Mr. General, sir, I
abhor the thought that a man of such stature cannot extend his
respect to a woman by, at least, taming his primal urges." This
embarrassed the general so much that he excused himself. He went to
the john, and thinking no one was inside, he scolded his tool, "If
you don't control yourself, I'll feed you to the dogs!" In the stall
next to him, someone immediately barked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1787
Sandi's Mother's Day
Sandi is in her Dog house looking out the curtained windows, looking
for
someone special. It is late in the evening and Sandi's heart is
heavy.
A shadow approaches and the doorbell rings. Sandi rushes for the
door.
Rudy: Hi honey, sorry for ringing the doorbell, but I left my keys
at
home this morning.
Sandi wearing an apron over her housecoat: Yes, they are on the
coffee
table.
Rudy: Don't worry honey, I am sure your pup will come by and say
happy mother's day.
Someone knocks at the door.
Rudy: See, what did I tell you?
Sandi: Do I look okay?
Rudy opens the door and Val comes in with flowers: Happy mothers
day Sandi.
Sandi takes the flowers and puts them in a vase and turns: Thank
you
Val it was very sweet of you.
Rudy whispering to Sandi: I know your pup isn't here yet, but it
was
sweet of Val.
Sandi: Yes it was.
Knock knock!
Sandi: It must be!
Rudy: I have it.
Katie: I have a pizza for you Sandi. Though we are sisters,
sometimes
you are like a mother to me. There are more on the sidewalk
outside.
Rudy: Pizzas?
Katie: No, folks.
Sandi: Thanks Katie.
Horace and Gus and their families come in bringing various
offerings.
Horace: We saved up our feathers and made a nice pillow for you
Sandi. Happy mother's day.
Guy: We also saved feathers and made a down comforter for you. We
want to thank for being a friend and a nice mother to us.
Sandi: Thank you all.
Sandi serves tea and cookies and soon everyone leaves.
Rudy: I guess it is time to go to bed Sandi.
Sandi: Sigh, I guess so.
Ding dong!
Sandi: You go to bed, I will get it.
Sandi opens the door...
BJ: Happy mother's day Sandi.
Sandi's tail wags and she leaps at BJ: I thought you were not
coming.
BJ: I saw the crowd and wanted it to be just you and I. The couch?
Sandi: Please.
Sandi's head is on BJ's lap as BJ is petting her.
BJ: Are those tears Sandi?
Sandi: No, it is the allergy season...
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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