THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Legum servi sumus ut liberi esse possimus.
- We are slaves of laws so that we can be free.
CICERO
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The weather has turned, most definitely. If you
live here in beautiful West Michigan, its been in
the high 80s or low 90s for the last couple of days.
While it is ideal motorcycle weather, I have found
it a little difficult to get around due to breathing
issues with my emphasyma. Seems like a struggle to
get around these days. Son in law helped install the
window air conditioner in my office the other night.
So, I am sortof living like a hermit. The war
department says that I am more like a caged animal,
as in a nasty old bear. I have not bothered
to seek a second opinion on that matter as my adult
children may decide to confirm it. hahahh!
Seems not to matter to Turk the dog, aka Carlos
the rat. Fortunately, he seems to like me no matter
what I do. Altho I confess that I think his motivations
are tainted. As long as I keep his dog food bowl full,
I suspect he will always love me. Go figger.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
________________
THE COMICS
excersize program
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b020.html
the collection
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b021.html
choose
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b022.html
good to be different
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b023.html
marriage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b024.html
face slap
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b025.html
divorce
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b026.html
honey moon is over
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b027.html
phone sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b028.html
scary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b029.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
dog has breakfast
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9688.html
shake weight
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9689.html
chicken and the dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9690.html
dancing booth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9691.html
fun in the snow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9692.html
big crashes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9693.html
____________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
actors and actresses from the past
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd118.html
golf
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd119.html
winter in Newfoundland
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd120.html
dogs and people
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd121.html
Mary and Sue were always trying to get the other's goat and
today they were meeting for lunch.
Mary noticed that Sue was walking bowlegged and asked what
the problem was.Sue replied, "Oh nothing. It's just that my
husband is so big, I just can't take it."
Mary replied, "I know. I know."
____________
A teacher asks an Arkansas redneck girl to use "handsome"
in a sentence. She says, "When I'm suckin' dick and my jaw
gets sore I use my handsome."
___________
The world's greatest charade player brags that he can guess
any charade. A TV producer decides to use the charade player
in a TV special. He issues a challenge offering the charade
player a million dollars to guess a very hard charade on television.
The charade player agrees.Comes the big night, all the world is
watching. The charade player is sitting on stage in front of a
curtain. Music blares and the curtain opens to reveal seven
nude young women.The second and fourth ladies are holding their
breasts, while the other five have their backs to him and are
baring their behinds.The charade player barely glances over
them and says, "The William Tell Overture by Rossini."
The flabbergasted producer says in awe, "You've done it! That's
the correct answer. You are indeed the greatest charade player!"
and he hands him a check for a million bucks.
Walking out, a reporter stops the charade player and ask him how
he did it." It's really simple," says the charade player. "One look
at the positions of the seven women, and I realized it as the
William Tell Overture."
"Rump... titty... rump... titty... rump... rump... rump."
_____________
The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger
who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair. "You've
got to help me. I'm losing my memory, Doctor," he sobbed.
"I once had a successful business, a wife, home and family;
I was a respected member of the community. But all that's gone
now. Since my memory began failing, I've lost the business -
I couldn't remember my clients' names. My wife and children
have left me, too; and why shouldn't they - some nights I
wouldn't get home until four or five in the morning. I'd forget
where I lived...And it's getting worse. Doctor - it's getting worse!"
"This is not an unusual form of neurosis," the psychiatrist said
soothingly. "Now tell me, just how long ago did you first become
aware of this condition?"
"Condition?" The man sat up in his chair. "What condition?"
____________
Boudreaux was out in da field talkin' wit his frien Thibodeaux.
Thibodeaux said "Boudreaux , you see dat ole barn out dere?
Well man, its completely infestered wit rats. I tried everything
I know an can't get rid of dem."
Boudreaux say, "Thibodeaux, I know xactly how to get rid of dem
rats. You gotta get you one of dem bull constriptors."
Thibodeaux say, Whats a bull constriptor?". Boudreaux explains,
"man. dats one of dem big ole snakes and he loves to eat rats
and swallers dem whole, all at once".
Well, da nex day Thibodeaux went down to Kliberts reptile farm
and bought him da biggest bull constripter dat dey got.
He brought dat snake to da barn an let him loose right in da
middle and just sat dere and watched. Well, Thibodeaux was
watchin' for a long time, I mean long, an dere wasn't nuttin '
happening. Dat big ole snake jus curled up hiself in da middle
of dat barn and slept all day. He didn't even move and dem
rats jus run all around.So Thibodeaux got real frustrated and
he called up Boudreaux on da phone, "Boudreaux, man dats some
bad advice bout dat snake.Dem rats is still runnin' al around
and dat snake jus lays dere sleepin' all day long." Boudreaux
says, "Man, Thibodeaux, I know just what to do.
Give dat snake some Viagra." Thibodeaux say, "What! Viagra!
What's dat gonna do?" Boudreaux say,"I was just listening to da
radio and de man say dat Viagra is da best ting to use for
a reptile dysfunction."
BUFFALO BILL
Fanfare
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jakjkas.htm
Final Call
http://www.buffaloschips.com/askla.htm
Flashlights
http://www.buffaloschips.com/saasjka.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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