Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I discovered another limit to Outlook today when it wouldn't
delete any mail or download any new mail. I decided I had
better save what I had done and reboot and it wouldn't save
mail either but then it notified me I had exceeded the size
of the pst folder. I checked and it was right at 2 gig so I emptied
two days of deleted emails which gave me 450 mb of
extra room.
The price of gas is 2.93 a gallon right now which is 12 cents
less then a couple of weeks. With the prices dropping I wonder
what the excuse will be this year for raising it for the summer.
I was also listening to the news this afternoon about Texas
rewriting their school books and California immediately saying
they wouldn't buy the books because they didn't like the Texas
version of events. I don't know what California is worried
about, by the time they can afford new school books today's
version will be ancient history.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Love Chips
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MEN'S THOUGHTS DURING LOVE MAKING
Kissing/Light Petting
What he hopes you're thinking: "Oh, I can't resist: I'm powerless
before your seductive ways!" What he's afraid you're thinking:
"Garlic breath--ewwww!"
Undressing
What he hopes you're thinking: "My God, look at the size of that!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "My God, look at the size of
that!"
Foreplay/Oral Sex
What he hopes you're thinking: "I could worship at the alter of your
impressive manhood for hours." What he's afraid you're thinking: "If
he doesn't warn me before he cums, I'm going to kill him."
Penetration
What he hopes you're thinking: "You stallion, you're splitting me in
half!" What he's afraid you're thinking: "Is it in yet?"
Your Orgasm
What he hopes you're thinking: "Yes, (his name here), yes!" What
he's afraid you're thinking: "I deserve an Academy Award for this
performance." What he's even more afraid you're thinking: "Yes,
(other guy's name here), yes!"
Postcoital Bliss
What he hopes you're thinking: "Now I know what an earthquake feels
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all."
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
I forgot
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my daddy
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the paper
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Florida Vacation
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Flower Pots
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Flowers
http://www.sydesjokes.com/toons/link000686.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pilot Chips
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A ragged, old, derelict shuffled into a down and dirty bar. Stinking
of whiskey and cigarettes, his hands shook as he took the "Piano
Player Wanted" sign from the window and handed it to the bartender.
"I'd like to apply for the job," he said. "I was an A-4 driver and a
Captain in the, Marine Corps but when they retired the A-4, all the
thrill was gone, and soon they cashiered me as well. I learned to
play the piano at O-Club happy hours, so here I am."
The barkeep wasn't too sure about this doubtful looking old guy, but
it had been quite a while since he had a piano player and business
was falling off. So, why not give him a try?
The seedy Capt, staggered his way over to the piano while several
patrons snickered. By the time he was into his third bar of music,
every voice was silenced. What followed was a rhapsody of soaring
music, unlike anything heard in the bar before. When he finished
there wasn't a dry eye in the place.
The bartender took the old attack pilot a beer and asked him the
name of the song he had just played.
It's called "Drop your Skivvies, Baby, I'm Going Balls To The Wall
For You!" said the Capt.. After a long pull from the beer, leaving
it empty, "I wrote it myself."
The bartender and the crowd winced at the title, but the piano
player just went on into a knee-slapping, hand-clapping bit of
ragtime that had the place jumping. After he finished, the attack
pilot acknowledged the applause, downed a second proffered mug, and
told the crowd the song was called, "Big Boobs Make My napalm
Light."
He then excused himself and lurched to the john.
When he came out the bartender went over to him and said, "Look fly
boy, the job is yours, but do you know your fly is open and your
pecker is hanging out?"
"Know it?" the old fighter pilot replied, "Hell, I wrote it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Pick-up Chips
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CHRISTIAN PICKUP LINES
- Hey baby, you wanna take the church van for a spin?
- I don't speak in tongues, but I sure do kiss that way.
- Excuse me, is this pew taken?
- Hi, my name's Will... God's Will.
- I predicted David over Goliath.
- God was showing off when he made you.
- I'm pretty flexible. I don't think a woman should be
submissive on the first date.
- Is it a sin that you stole my heart?
- You know Jesus? Me too!
- No, I'm not coveting... I intend to make you mine.
- Christians don't shake hands, Christians hug!
- Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.
- What do you think Paul meant when he said, "Greet
one another with a holy kiss"?
- Do you really believe "it is more blessed to give than
to receive"?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Nun Chips
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Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are
traveling through Europe in their car. They get to
Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a diminutive Dracula
jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through
the windshield.
"Quick, quick", shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do"?
"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of
the abomination". says Sister Helen .
Sister Marilyn switches the wipers on, knocking
Dracula about, but he clings on and continues
hissing at the nuns.
"Now what"? shouts Sister Marilyn.
"Show him your cross", says Sister Helen.
"Now you're talking", says Sister Marilyn as she
opens the window and shouts.....
"GET THE FUCK OFF THE CAR!!!!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a biology class the teacher asks, "Can anyone tell me
why a flounder is flat?"
Little Johnny raises his hand.
"Go ahead, Johnny."
"My uncle told me it's because a whale raped the flounder."
"That's terrible, Johnny. I'll have to speak to your parents about
this. Let's try another one. Why does a lobster's eyes protrude from
its
head?"
Again Johnny raises his hand.
"We'll give you another chance."
"My uncle said when the whale raped the flounder, the
lobster saw it, and his eyes popped out in shock."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Nobodys To Bad
http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Insp2/Nobody.html
Daddy Do-Do
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/daddy.html
John w/ Life's Railway To Heaven
http://heavensgates.us/patsy/lifesrailway/
Carolyn w/ Hound Dog
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/elvis/hounddog.html
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Surfin Surfari
Beaches In India
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beaches.html
Emoticons and Abbreviations (Smileys)
http://www.anapsid.org/internet/smileys.html
20 Lb Muskie With Barbie Fishing Pole via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/3943c36
About Countries
http://factbook.bodukai.com/
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Redirect Spam
http://spambox.us/
Free Zip Tools
http://www.7-zip.org/
Password Manager
https://www.steganos.com/us/products/for-free/locknote/overview/
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.thedogsbestfriend.com/forkids.htm
Kitty Korner
http://messybeast.com/breeds.htm
Bear Playground
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bearplay.html
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Movie Links
Wrong Phone
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7827.htm
WW30mm
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7828.htm
XX Cigar Rolling
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7829.htm
Kitty Cat Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7830.htm
Royal Canadian Air Farce
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7831.htm
x352
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72212.htm
Yeah Right
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72213.htm
Your Side Of The family
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72214.htm
Lake Delton Break To WI River
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72215.htm
Baby Panda Sneeze
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72216.htm
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Virgin Chips
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A teenage boy and his steady girlfriend were making out in his
parked car, when the boy got really turned on, and said, "Please
darlin', I can't take it anymore, I have to get some relief."
-
His girl replies, "You know I am saving myself until we get
married!"
-
He continues to plead and begs her, "What if I just put the head in
for a while, just let me marinate it a little?"
-
Finally getting a bit steamed up herself, she reluctantly agrees,
but says, only if it's the head. So he anxiously unzips and
fumbling, puts the head of his manhood into the softness of her
secret treasure and that's all he does, well for about 30 seconds
anyway, but in the heat of passion, he gets carried away and before
you know it he's put it in entirely and is pumping away with deep
thrusts for all he's worth.
-
After a few minutes his lady love moans and thrilling to the
mounting pleasure and a new awareness, haltingly gasps "I know we
have this deal, that you are only putting the head in, but... this
feels so damn good, go ahead and give it all to me!"
-
Jolted to his senses, stopping in mid thrust, but thinking quickly
our hero responds, "Nope, a deals a deal."
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Toon Chips
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Breast Implants
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2230521.htm
Go With The Flow
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2230522.htm
Women in Boxing
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280501.htm
Trivial Pursuit
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280502.htm
Talented Tongue
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280503.htm
Hello Nobel Prize
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280504.htm
Oh Boss
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280505.htm
Bad Milk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02280506.htm
Cards
http://www.buffaloschips.com/020280507.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An arrogant wench from Salt Lake
Liked to tease all the boys on the make.
She was finally the prize
Of a man twice her size
And all she recalls is the ache.
There was a young man named Keith,
Who liked to be fondled beneath,
When she'd start with her lips,
Mmmmm, he'd wiggle his hips...
But not when the bitch used her teeth!
There was a young lady of Dover
Whose passion was such that it drove her.
To cry, when you came,
"Oh dear! What a shame!
Well, now we shall have to start over."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The distinguished-looking elderly man asked at the department store
information kiosk where he might purchase some personal stationery.
He was directed to the notions department on the third floor, but in
the crowded elevator he became confused and got off on the fourth
floor by mistake. Approaching the attractive floor manager standing
near the elevator doors, he said, "Excuse me, Miss, but do you have
notions?"
"Sure," she replied mischievously, "but during the work week I try
to suppress them until after five o'clock." "No, no, you don't
understand," he stammered. "I mean to say, do you keep stationery?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1795
Val Learns from Katie
Katie: So if humans leave things out we must teach them to put
things
away.
Val: By eating food if it is food.
Katie: Right.
Val: By hiding things if they are things.
Katie: Right.
Val: Tell about sleeping again.
Katie: Sometimes bi-peds want to sleep late, but it is our job to
make
certain they do not oversleep. So we must bark loudly to make sure
they do not oversleep.
Val: Why?
Katie: They must take out the other dogs, they must go to the
bathroom themselves.
Val: That makes sense. Why do you bark at dad at 10 pm?
Katie: Because it is time for him to go to bed. He must get his
nighty-
night sleep and if it wasn't for me, I do not know what he would do.
Val: Wow you are smart Katie.
The herd in Guthrie
(yes, Katie barks at me to go to bed then she jumps in with me and
at 6 - 6:30 am she barks at me to get up)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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