THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Learn to...be what you are,
and learn to resign with good
grace all that you are not.
Henri Frederic Amiel
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Just a couple of comments. First, on this
oil spil problem, let me just say, it seems
it does not matter who, whether its republicans
or democrats, our government is largely in effective
in dealing with natural disasters. We hope
they find a solution soon. Perhaps we are better
off to be a bit more self reliant, rather than
relying on the government to solve everything.
Second, I wanted to thank everyone who has
sent in the powerpoints displays. We shall
have many of those for a long time:)
HAVE MORE TO CONTRIBUTE?? FEEL FREE!!!!
Also, my thanks
to all who expressed sympathies about my motorcycle.
It was a difficult thing to part with it.:(
Yes I am kindof sad about not riding anymore. But I
might refer you to today's quote at the top of this page.
it seems rather appropriate. You can talk about the
things you cannot do anymore, or you can go out and
focus on the things that you CAN do. its a choice that
you have to make. Its time to focus on different activities.
And of course,
Have a fun and safe memorial day weekend!
A Friend Is--
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or
Leaves You Hanging
MakesYou Look Better And
Always Close To Your Heart!!!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
he went quietly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b040.html
free gas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b041.html
parties
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b042.html
travel
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b043.html
ribbons
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b044.html
just in
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b045.html
peanuts
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b046.html
upset
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b047.html
property
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b048.html
little Willy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b049.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Cheaters pimp
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9701.html
BEST OF CHEATERS
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9702.html
Bank robbery ends in motorcycle crash
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9703.html
destroyed in seconds
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9704.html
Unheard voices from the Gulf Coast
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9705.html
Sponge Bob Square pants
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9706.html
___________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
shoes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd124.html
funny looking
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd125.html
friend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd126.html
One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be
judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and
that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked
what he did and God told him that he cheated on his
income taxes, and that the only way he could get into
heaven would be to sleep with a 500 pound, stupid,
butt-ugly woman for the next five years and enjoy it.
Tony decided that this was a small price to pay for an
eternity in heaven. So off he went with this enormous
woman, pretending to be happy.As he was walking along,
he saw his friend Carlos up ahead. Carlos was with an
even bigger, uglier woman than he was with. When he
approached Carlos he asked him what was going on, and
Carlos replied, "I cheated on my income taxes and scammed
the government out of a lot of money...even more then
you did." They both shook their heads in understanding
and figured that as long as they have to be with these
women, they might as well hang out together to help pass
the time.Now Tony, Carlos, and their two beastly women
were walking along, minding their own business when Tony
and Carlos could have sworn that they saw their friend
Jon up ahead, only this man was with an absolutely drop
dead gorgeous supermodel centerfold. Stunned, Tony
and Carlos approached the man and in fact it was their
friend Jon. They asked him how is he with this unbelievable
goddess, while they were stuck with these god-awful women.
Jon replied, "I have no idea, and I''m definitely not
complaining. This has been absolutely the best time of my
life (and I''m dead,) and I have five years of the best sex
any man could hope for to look forward to. There is only
one thing that I can''t seem to understand. After everytime
we have sex, she rolls over and murmur''s to herself,
"Damn income taxes!"',
__________________
Jon was looking for a little "action." He picked up a
sweet young thing at the bar and took her back to his
hotel room. Little did he know that she was darn near a
nymphomaniac. After six times having sex, she was screaming
for more. After the eighth time, Jon told her that he needed
to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.
On the way out, he stopped into the men's room. He stood in
front of the urinal, unzipped his pants, and felt a moment of
panic when he couldn't find his tool.
After a couple of minutes fishing around, he finally said,
"Look, it's okay. She's not here!"
___________
One day there was an article in the paper about a scientist
that had developed a machine that could adjust a persons IQ.
Unfortunately it could only lower it. As Bill was reading
the article he thought that might be the solution to his
problem. Bill was extremely smart - the most intelligent person
on earth - which made it almost impossible for him to carry
on a conversation with anyone. Everyone was too dumb for Bill.
So he contacted the scientist and explained his problem. The
scientist said that he thought that he might be able to help him.
The scientist explained that he would gradually reduce Bill's
intelligence until Bill was satisfied that it was at the right
level. The scientist said that he would watch the "Intelligence
Dial" very closely and lower Bill's intelligence 10% at a time.
As the machine took Bill's intelligence lower, the scientist
would stop and talk to Bill until Bill was satisfied.
The scientist had Bill sit in the special chair. Many
electrodes were attached to Bills head. The scientist took Bill's
intelligence down until the dial showed it had been lowered 10%
and stopped. After Bill talked to him a while, Bill said that he
was still too smart. The machine was started up again. After
another 10% intelligence reduction, the machine was stopped.
After talking with the scientist, Bill said that he was still
too smart. This procedure went on several more times. The last
time the scientist turned on the machine, smoke and sparks started
coming out of it. The scientist could not get the machine to shut off.
The "Intelligence Dial" swung all the way to zero before the
scientist could pull the plug on the machine. The scientist was
frantic. As he pulled the electrodes off of Bill's head he said,
"Are you all right?"
Bill replied, "10-4 good buddy!"
______________
A man and his wife were working in their garden, when the man
looks over at his wife and says: "Your Butt is getting really
big, I mean really big. I bet your Butt is bigger than the Barbecue."
With that he got a measuring tape, measured the Barbecue Grill
and then went to where his wife was working and measured his wife's Bottom.
"Yes, I was right, your Butt is two inches wider that the Barbecue!"
The woman chose to ignore her husband's remarks.
Later that night, in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes
some advances towards his wife who, completely, brushes him off.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
She answers, "Do you, seriously, think that I am going to fire up this
Big-Ass Grill for one little sausage ????
____________
Groups of Americans were travelling by tour bus through Holland.
As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through
the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was
used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats
were grazing.'These,' she explained, 'are the older goats put
out to pasture when they no longer produce.'
She then asked, 'What do you do in America with your old goats?'
A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!
BUFFALO BILL
How A Real Man Takes Off His Underwear
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjhjkh.htm
How Mens Underwear Should Be Advertised
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjhk.htm
How To Get Rid Of A One Night Stand
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhjkhjk.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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