THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!!
Education is the progressive
discovery of our own ignorance
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I've heard of a lot of tragic things. But u know,
I can't think of anything more sad. U wonder why
more people didn't hear about it. So...
Two Muslims in a Toyota Tarago have been killed
driving off a cliff in Sydney ...
Officers at the scene said it was an appalling
tragedy as the vehicle was capable of seating seven.
The prime minister declared it to be a waste
of resources.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
gettin old
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y010.html
if it doesn't work
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y011.html
my date last night
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y012.html
my wife
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y013.html
you know the rules
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y014.html
the great apes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y015.html
think of you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y016.html
I like her
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y017.html
supply and demand
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y018.html
puppet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y019.html
_________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
scare
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9546.html
snow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9547.html
balls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9548.html
mission impossible
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9549.html
how to pick up chicks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9550.html
the dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9551.html
A married couple went to the hospital to have their
baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said
that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech
machine that would transfer a portion of the
mother's labour pain to the baby's father.
He asked if they were interested, Both said they were
very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain
transfer to 10 percent for starters, explaining that
even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father
had ever experienced before. But as the labour progressed,
the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and
kick it up a notch.The doctor then adjusted the machine to
20 percent pain transfer..
The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked
the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he
was doing.At this point they decided to try for 50 percent.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain
transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably,
the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the
pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with
virtually no pain, and the husband had experienced none.
She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home they
found the postman dead on the porch.
_____________
The Man Code
The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.
Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator
is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
killed and eaten by his fellow party goers.
Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as
spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the
ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you
must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours
his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a
good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.
Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must
bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's
running late is 5 minutes. For a woman, you are required to wait
10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic
1-10 scale.
No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another
man. In fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly
optional and slightly gay.
Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is
trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried
away with your good deed and end up having Sex with the beast,
your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor
party.
Before dating a buddy's ex, you are required to ask his
permission and he, in return is required to grant it.
If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem you didn't see
nothin'.
When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may
always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never
ask who's playing.
It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when
you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a
topless super model... and it's free.
Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
remain sober enough to fight.
If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring
to his beer.
Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when
she's withholding sex pending your response.
Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal
footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all
other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.
If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may
not join him... too gay."
"Thou shall not rent the movie 'Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya
Sisterhood'."
Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
There, now... Everybody got it?
____________
Doug replies, "Sorry Bill, I have to go to the drugstore to
pick up a 'patch' prescription for my wife. She's quitting
smoking today." "Oh okay, well, good luck to her!" Bill said.
"Yeah, well it is really lucky me," grinned Doug. "I told
her to let me know any time she has an urge to put something
in her mouth to suck on."
_____________
A farmer is in Iowa during a flood. The river is overflowing,
with water surrounding the farmer's home up to his front
porch. As he is standing there, a boat comes up, The man in
the boat says "Jump in, I'll take you to safety." The farmer
crosses his arms and says stubbornly, "Nope, I put my trust
in God." The boat goes away.The water rises to the second floor.
Another boat comes up, the man says to the farmer who is now in
the second story window, "Jump in, I'll save you." The farmer
again says, "Nope, I put my trust in God." The boat goes away.
Now the water is up to the roof. As The farmer stands on the
roof, a helicopter comes over, and drops a ladder. The pilot
yells down to the farmer "I'll save you, climb the ladder."
The farmer says "Nope, I put my trust in God." The helicopter
goes away.The water continues to rise and sweeps the farmer
off the roof. He drowns. The farmer goes to heaven. God sees
him and says "What are you doing here?" The farmer says "I
put my trust in you and you let me down." God says, "What do
you mean, let you down? I sent you two boats and a helicopter!"
__________
Judi and her boyfriend were sitting at home one night and became
bored."Hey, let's play a game" she said.
"What game?" was his bored reply.
"Let's play hide'n'seek. I'll give you a blow-job if you can
find me.""What if I can't find you?"
"I'll be behind the piano."
_______________
"People," said the Sales Manager to the sales team, "We're
going to be having a fire sale."
"A fire sale?" spoke up one agent. "But we sell insurance."
"I said a fire sale, and I meant it," he replied. "Anyone who
doesn't make a sale gets fired."
___________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Massage - 7Up
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000942.html
Mastercard
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000943.html
Matrix Cow
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000944.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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