Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
We are entering the Memorial Day Weekend which has been
traditionally the worst traffic death rate of the summer. If you
are going on the road this weekend, be sober and wear your
seatbelt and come back to us on Tuesday
THE HEROES OF WAR
We are not the heroes of the war,
Although we all stood tall for the cause
The heroes are those who were killed over there
Who never once ever heard the applause
They were the ones who left families behind
The ones so many mothers would never forget
They were the kids the boys from war.
Who had no chance to become men and yet.
They answered the call when it came their way
And they enlisted to fight and defend
The freedoms back home all mattered so much
Even if it meant that their lives might come to an end
They were the doughboys from World War I
And the soldiers from World War II
They were the fighters in Korea and in Vietnam
Who did exactly as they were ordered to do
They were the soldiers in the Persian Gulf War
And the ones in the war on terrorism around the world
They all took the looks and the stares that were given
To make sure that our flag would forever stay unfurled
They were the ones who paid the big price
The ones who we never had the chance to thank
The ones we have all forgotten thru time
Never knowing their names, let alone their rank
But one thing is for sure, and I can promise you this
That no matter what soldier still living you may ask
The ones who deserve to be called heroes of war
Are the ones who took the fall. so they could finish the task
CWritten by
Mary P. Greeley
November 25, 2006.
Printed with Permission
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Grill Chips
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A young innocent girl is about to go on her 1st date and is given
some word of advise and warning by her mother; "Look darling, they
all want the same, so do be very careful and don't you ever let him;
1.) kiss your lips. Your lips are as soft as rose petals and will
shrivel,
2.) or touch your breast. They are like of thin crystal and can
shatter, and
3.) never ever to touch your "private" part. That one is like a
"GRILL"
and will burn everything coming to touch it."
The girl is off full of excitement and anxiety, and Mum waits and
waits until just after midnight when she's back.
"How was it?" asks mum.
"Oh mum, it was absolutely fantastic, and I think I'm in love!"
"Lets not go too fast dear. And did he tried to come too close?"
"Well, yes, he did and I did as you said and he was absolutely
careful not to hurt or harm me!"
"What do you mean careful, did you let him do something?"
"Not exactly mum, see it was like that. First he wanted to kiss me
and I told him what you said, and he stopped. Then he went to touch
my breast and again I told him what you said, and he stopped. Then
he slowly went under my skirt close to the private part, and I told
him what you said, and he then took his hands out and said; "What a
coincidence, I happen to have a nice piece of "Fillet" and would
love to put it in your "Grill" to cook!!"
"WHAT?!?" screams the mother, "I knew that bastard is no different
to the others. You hopefully stopped him there too, didn't you?"
"Well, not really mum. You see, he promised to be careful and was
very careful not to "burn" his fillet. Every now and then he took
it out and had me "taste it" to see if it was cooked or not."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bear Chips
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A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear. he carries his trusty
22 cal.
rifle with him. After a while he spots a very large bear, takes aim
and fires. When the smoke clear, the bear is gone.
A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says,
"no one shoots at me and get away with it. You have two choices: I
can rip your throat out and eat you, or you can drop your pants,
bend over and I'll fuck your ass."
The hunter decides that anything is better then death, so he drops
his pants and bends over and the bear does what he said he would do.
After the bear finished and left, the hunter pulls up his pants and
staggers back into town. He's pretty mad. He buys a much larger
gun and returns to the forest. He sees the same bear, aims, and
fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone.
A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says,
"you know what to do."
Afterward the hunter pulls up his pants, crawls back into town and
buys a bazooka. Now he's really mad. He returns to the forest,
sees the bear, aims and fires. The force of the bazooka blast
knocks him flat on his back.
When the smoke clears, the bear is standing over him and says,
"you're not doing this for the hunting, are you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Convicted of murder and sentenced to death, the shapely young woman
asked, as a last request, that she be hanged in the nude. Although
the warden thought this unusual, he felt a last request was not
something to be denied. When the condemned prisoner arrived at the
gallows, the hangman gasped, "My God, you have the most beautiful
body I've ever seen." Came the whispered reply, "It's all yours if
you keep your trap shut."
"How did your evening with your new boyfriend go?" "It was a
disaster.
We were nude in bed in heavy foreplay and he had a premature
ejaculation." "What did he say when it occurred?" "He just said I
was the loveliest girl he had ever come across."
"My hubby & I have, what he calls 'Olympic Sex'." "Wow, you must be
have a terrific sex life?" "Not really. It only happens once every
four years."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Animal Chips
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Quotes From Animal Romance Novels
It had been tough growing up in the spotlight, alone,
separated from her by the jail house bars of a system
that didn't understand their love. But someday they
would be together again, and he would wait, counting
the days until she was released. After all, it was Mary
who had turned him from a little lamb into a young ram.
His nose was cold. Colder than any nose that dared sniff her
before. She backed further into his muzzle.
The muscular ram grabbed her by the wooly tuft on the back of
her neck and with a sinful gleam in his eye said, "You've
been a very baa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aad girl."
His torrid affair with the donkey left him smelling like ass.
His every pant brought forth a musky scent, and he growled low
in his throat and said, "Moan like a human, bitch!"
My master crossed his legs provocatively, dangling one taut
lean calf over his knee. As his leg bobbed rhythmically,
his cuff climbed higher, revealing-- Hey! A squirrel!
Squeezing his octopus companion tightly with his tentacles,
Oliver felt shame as he prematurely released his ink.
Polly's new man was like all the others. He never seemed to
ask what she really wanted, choosing instead to
insistently repeat his offer of a cracker.
Timmy and Sally rested for several seconds, then began anew.
Then rested again. Followed by more loving. A brief nap.
Once again with the coitus. The bunnies simply could not
help themselves.
He didn't need the love of a female. He didn't need a male,
either, for that matter. He was a worm. He had it all.
"Your bulging green eyes, your powerful jaws -- I think
I'm losing my head over you, darling."
"You have no idea how right you are, loverboy."
The Top 5 List
Copyright 2003 by Chris White
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Pot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your mama is like a joint, everbody gets a hit
A woman was complaining about how the time of the month made her
hungry.
"I have the munchies, so it must be hormonal." A man overhearing her
said, "that's funny," usually when I have the munchies, its uasally
home-grown-al.
Last week I bought a bag I thought was sinsimilla, but instead it
was
seeds a million.
Your mind is like a parachute: it works better when its high.
I quit smoking pot once....it was the worst 15 minutes of my life.
You know your a stoner if your bong gets washed more than your
dishes
You know you are really high when:
1. It takes an hour to cook minute rice.
2. You sell your car for gas money.
3. You think a quarterback is a refund.
4. Your friend takes a hit and says, that stone got me
really hit.
Q. What do you call a cop with an ounce of primo Pot?
A. The fucking cop who busted me.
Q. Did you herar they're gonna make the Dallas Cowboys
start playing on a natural turf?
A. Yah! they're already snorting all the lines and smoking
all the grass.
A hippy was seen crawling down some railway tracks.
When asked if there was a problem, he said, yeah man, can you help
me
off this ladder.
Q. Which end of the joint should one light?
A. The end thats not in your mouth.
Q. How is the Ohio State Buckeyes and marijuana the
same?
A. They both get smoked in bowls.
Q. What do you do if a stoner throws a hand grenade at
you?
A. Take the pin out and throw it back.
Q. How do you stop an army of stoners on horseback?
A. Turn off the carousel.
Q. What do potheads catch when they go fishing?
A. Red-eyes and cottonmouth.
Q. Whats the difference between a bong for breakfast
and anal sex?
A. One makes your day, but the other makes your
hole weak.
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Melva/The Keys
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R.I.P. Gary Coleman
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have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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About Buster
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Mozilla Sunbird
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Phrase Express
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
Flower Dog Art
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Kitty Korner
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Imposter Chips
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When the cop was off duty, he often hung around bars in the seedier
parts of town, listening to rumors and trying to get a sense of what
was going on.
One evening a quite stunningly beautiful lady walked in and ordered
a drink. The cop watched her, fascinated that such a comely, well
dressed woman would be in a dive like this. She seemed to notice
his stare; she turned and came over to where he sat.
"Can I buy you a drink?" she asked, her azure gaze holding his eyes
as though her were hypnotized.
"S-s-s-sure!" he stammered, not believing his luck. She was
gorgeous!
Just then the bartender snorted, "Hey, buddy, that's no lady!" and
laughed out loud.
"What?!?" the cop asked, confused.
"Like I said. That's no lady. He's not a woman, either!" the
bartender said.
The cop's face turned a deep red as his anger rose. "Why, you... I
oughta run you in!" he growled at the "lady".
"For what?" he/she answered, "I haven't done anything illegal, have
I?"
"For male fraud!" was the cop's reply. (By Clynch Varnadore)
Stan Kegel
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And nothing could make a man madder
Than losing to some woman's bladder
I see them some nights
All hitting the heights
That no man could reach with a ladder
~~~~~~
St. David of Wales is unique
But not for the words he would speak
Or the life that he led;
He's, oddly, instead
Remembered for taking a leek.
~~~~~~
In one little whorehouse I've been
I sampled the charms of Maureen
Affection I sought
But something I caught
Was turning my gonads to green
~~~~~~
I wouldn't think that was so bad
As the sweet little thing that I had
In gay old Paris --
What she gave to me
Has turned my poor gonads to plaid
~~~~~~~
There was a young lady of Ardon,
The tool of whose man wouldn't harden,
Said she with a frown
"I've been sadly let down"
By the tool of a fool in a garden.
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady and her dog were enjoying a stroll in the park
when her dog was mounted from behind by a large
Rottweiler. The Rot was really humping away and the
lady was frantically trying to break them up, to no avail.
A small boy walked up and stuck his finger in the Rot's
butt, and the action immediately stopped.
The lady was amazed. "How did you do that?" she
asked.
The little boy said, "That's my dog! He can dish it out,
but he can't take it!"
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1799
Rudy (Part Two) - The Dog Run
When Diana had to go to the hospital, BJ had to go to work.
BJ: Okay guys you need to go to the dog run.
Val: I am cool with that.
Rudy: Yeah me to.
Sandi: We do what we have to for the team.
Katie is running wild at the time and will not obey...
The three others head for the dog run without leashes and BJ makes
certain they have food and fresh water. There are four dog houses
and
blankets and the dog run is very large and they have toys and such.
The day passes...
BJ arrives home early as he is tired from lack of sleep. As he
starts to
unlock the door, he notices Val inside the house...
BJ: What the...?
BJ enters the house and sees what has occured. Sandi and Rudy are
in the garage. Rudy has pushed open the door from the dog run
leading
to the garage then tore the door to shreds from the garage to the
house. The door was not totally destroyed but it will need to be
replaced. The whole was large enough for Val to enter the house but
not large enough yet for Rudy or Sandi to enter.
BJ: Rudy what is the problem?
Rudy: Hot, wanted the a/c.
BJ: I am getting your hair cut next week dude.
Rudy: Hot and I wanted your bed.
BJ: Sigh.
The herd in Guthrie
(pretty much exactly what happened. This is the second door he has
destroyed. We will replace these with metal doors.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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