Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Thirty- eight years ago today was my first morning in boot camp at
Great Lakes Illinois. I had visions of being dragged out of bed at
0500 by some screaming company commander but to tell you the truth
we hadn't even been assigned to a barracks yet and my first night at
boot camp was spent sitting in a chair in a processing room and
filling out some of the necessary paper work. After being assigned
a billet number, which we were urged to memorize we got our first
Navy breakfast. I knew right away I was going to like this place as
it tasted good, had good variety and you could take as much as you
wanted.
From there we were given our first Navy haircut. I had already had
mine all but shaved before leaving for boot camp but still had to
sit in a chair and choose the type of hair cut I wanted. My hair
was shorter than the attachments on the clippers but I guess they
had to ask anyhow. Next stop was clothing issue and it was a major
disappointment. I had worn bell bottom dungarees at college for the
past two years and was excited that the Navy was going to give me a
sea bag full of dungarees and a new pea coat to replace the one I
had lost at a dorm party. No such luck as the CNO's wife was a
clothing designer and we were one of the first companies to receive
the utility uniform with its pull over shirt and straight legged
jeans. I later bought regular dungarees which were considered an
alternative uniform and I think still are. Contrary to popular
belief the clothing all fit comfortably and we changed into our
uniforms with a Navy watch cap to show the world that we were
recruits. We were given boxes for our civilian belongings, as
except for your wallet you were only allowed to keep navy issue gear
and the Navy sent the box home for us.
The other item we were issued was a ditty bag, which was a cloth bag
with a drawstring. It contained soap, a soap holder, tooth brush,
shaving gear, laundry ties and a book of chits of varying
denominations to use for haircuts and sundries until you got your
first paycheck. You were allowed to purchase cigarettes also but
not to carry them with you as smoking was only allowed after hours
and in lounges but in the old wooden barracks of Camp Barry, that
was allowed only around a sand-filled bucket with a fire watch set.
Camp Barry was our temporary home while we were waiting to be
assigned to a permanent company and after a quick lesson in making a
bunk we were finally allowed to go to sleep. I slept like a rock.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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waddling into the room assisted by his young wife. "I want to speak
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he says. "Could you tell me what the problem is?" replied the woman
behind the desk. "I want to speak to the doctor," he replies. His
wife begins to snicker. Eventually the doctor comes and gets the
story. The couple are newlyweds. It was her birthday. The man
decided to surprise her.
His plan was to insert a small birthday candle into his erect penis,
light it, and walk into the room singing "happy birthday to you."
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was pulled out of sight. The efforts of his panic only caused the
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Car Chips
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trying not to drool. Next Berg pulled up her teeny-weeny skirt,
feeling the soft down of her inner thighs. The salesman followed,
the slight tang of her pussy almost driving him insane. Next Berg
pulled out his pecker and folded it in half. The salesman sighed.
"What color d'you want?"
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Supernatural Chips
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A professor at the Texas A&M was giving a lecture on the
supernatural. To
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in
ghosts?"
About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you, who believe in
ghosts, do
any of you think you've seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
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anyone
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About 15 students raise their hands.
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have
any of
you ever made love to a ghost?"
Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses, and says, "Son, all the years
I've been
giving this lecture no one has ever claimed to have made love to a
ghost.
You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The big Texas redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and
began to
make his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So,
Bubba, tell
us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"
Bubba replied, "Shiiiiit! , from way back there I thought you said,
Goats."
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Late Show Top Ten
Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From Your Director
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10. The stuntman called in sick - we're gonna set you on
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8. This piece of crap's going straight to DVD
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5. I'm drunk
4. Potsie, come quick! Ralph Malph's stuck in a phone
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Short Chips
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Little Johnny and his girl were parked one dark summer night in
Lovers Lane, when all of a sudden she said, "Oh, don't do that, or
I'll go all to pieces!" Little Johnny replied, "Go right
ahead...I've got my hand on the piece I want!"
"Calm Down, Ma'am," said the school counselor to the shattered mom.
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Husband: "Put your coat on love, I'm going to the bar."
Wife: "Are you taking me out for a drink?"
Husband: "Don't be silly woman. I'm turning the heat off."
Chris and Paul were having a beer at the neighborhood bar. "What's
the matter?" asked Chris of his buddy. "You look kind of down." "My
wife just told me that my lovemaking is just like a news bulletin."
"Why's that?" "Because it's brief, unexpected and usually a
disaster."
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Sex Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Things women shouldn't say to men during sex
"And yet your feet are so big!"
"Don't worry, we'll work around it."
"I guess this makes me the early bird."
"Try not to smear my make-up."
"At least this won't take long."
"I want a baby."
"Do you know the ceiling needs painting?"
"Maybe we should call Dr Ruth."
"Is that blood on the headboard?"
"Did I remember to take my pill?"
"It's just a rash."
"Sorry about the name tags, but I'm not very good with names."
"Does it come with an air pump?"
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"Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?"
"But everybody looks funny naked."
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"You must be cold."
"Don't mind me. I always file my nails in bed,"
"Maybe if we water it, it'll grow."
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"When is this supposed to feel good?"
"It's a good thing you're rich."
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young lady from Thrace,
Who's Corset she could no longer lace,
Her Mother said, "Nellie
There's more in your Belly,
Than ever went in through your face."
An astronomer slept in the sun,
Then woke with his fly quite undone.
He remarked, with a smile,
"Hoorah! A sundial!
And it's now a quarter past one."
A widow who lived in Rangoon
Hung a rather large wreath on her womb;
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"Of my husband who's dead,
And how he got into his tomb."
Ross
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Parting Chips
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Stuttering Cat - as explained by a grade 4 student .... A teacher is
explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the
only animals that stutter," she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could
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'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the
Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we
knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'
'That must've been scary,' said the teacher.
'It sure was,' said the little girl. My kitty raised her back, went
"Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF."
But before she could say 'Fuck! the Rottweiler ate her!
The teacher had to leave the room.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1797
Katie and Val
Katie: So our main target is Miss Tami.
Val: Yeah I like her a lot, she is fun.
Katie: I like her to, so we must pick on her and play tricks on
her. It is
out way of showing her we love her. The more tricks we play, the
more
we love her.
Val: Oh boy, this will be fun. I have a great idea.
Katie: Tell me.
Val: How about I make some new wet concrete so when she leaves her
house in the morning for work......
Katie: Great idea, I love it.
Val: Or switching the hot and cold knobs in her shower.
Katie: I like that one to.
Val: Switching her coffee from De-caf to full caffeine.
Katie: You are starting to think like me.
Val: I can do all these tonight after she goes to bed.
Katie: We will watch her reaction in the morning.
Val: No need, I will hook up a remote camera and we can watch.
Katie: Splendid idea.
to be continued
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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