Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Taking a little breather today from spring cleaning while I wait
to hear about some free dump passes ( Buffy wanted to know
why the city was giving out dumb passes ) so I can lighten this
place up by a 1000 pounds or so. With a few less possessions
I might even decide to do some painting this summer.
We are in negotiations right now for an auto parts plant. This
would replace all the jobs that have left the area in the past 5
years and they might even have a place for a buffalo. Of course
it all depends on which state offers the best incentives. To
our advantage we have an empty factory with loading docks and
a power system that would fit their purpose without building
so we shall see.
Eva has developed an affection for cute bugs, mostly little beetles.
I have told her that they are bad and that they will eat her
chocolate
when she turns her back. She plays with them just like a cat with
a grasshopper. Fortunately we don't have any poisonous bugs and
her mom has taught her to hate spiders.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Harley Chips
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Reasons why Harley's are better than women:
Harley's only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
Harley's curves never sag.
Harley's last longer.
Harley's don't get pregnant.
You can ride a Harley any time of the month.
Harley's don't whine unless something is really wrong.
You can kick your Harley to wake it up.
You can share your Harley with your friends. (Never! - MM)
If your Harley makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
You only need to get a new belt for your Harley when the old one is
REALLY WORN.
If your Harley smokes, you can do something about it.
Harley's don't care about how many other Harleys you have ridden.
When riding, you and your Harley both arrive at the same time.
Harley's don't mind if you look at other Harleys, or if you buy
motorcycle magazines.
New Harley's must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for
them,
you don't get them.
If your Harley goes flat, you can fix it.
If your Harley is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your Harley is too soft, you can get different shocks.
If your Harley is misaligned, you don't have to have long
discussions to
correct it.
You can have a beer while riding your Harley.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Harley.
You don't have to deal with priests or blood tests to register your
Harley.
If you say bad things to your Harley, you don't have to apologize
before
you can ride it again.
You can ride a Harley as long as you want and it won't get sore.
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Harley after you
dump
it.
Harley's always feel like being ridden.
Harley's don't insult you if you're a bad rider.
Your Harley never wants a night out alone with the other Harley's.
Harley's don't care if you are late.
You don't have to take a shower before riding your Harley.
It's always OK to use tie downs on your Harley.
If your Harley doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better
parts.
You can't get diseases from a Harley you don't know very well.
If you get rid of your Harley it doesn't get to keep half of your
stuff.
If you leave town you don't have to worry if your Harley is letting
somebody else ride it.
You can trade your Harley in for a newer model without paying
alimony.
Your Harley doesn't mind if you play with it in public. Hey! Not all
women are opposed to that...some even prefer it!!
Your Harley has an off switch. You can totally ignore your Harley as
long as you want.
Your Harley won't get offended if you suggest bigger, aftermarket
headlights.
You know exactly how much your Harley is going to take out of your
checking account each month.
Your Harley doesn't expect foreplay.
Your Harley doesn't want to snuggle after being ridden.
People envy your Harley more the older it gets.
Your Harley doesn't mind waiting outside while you go into a strip
club.
If you don't want your Harley anymore, it's not illegal to sell it.
You can Bore & Stroke it in public & no one cares!
Harley's don't mind having two riders at the same time.
You can sit, drinking a beer & stare at your Harley for hours & it
won't
ask you stupid questions!
You can call your Harley anything in the book and still get to ride
it
after it's all fired up!
If you take care of your Harley, it will never get to old for you to
ride it.
You can call your Harley a hog and it wont get pissed.
You don't have to give your Harley a ring in order to get a ride!
YOU
DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TELL IT YOU LOVE IT!
You can always tell if your Harley is turned on or not.
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
mouth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a007.html
enough
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a008.html
trash
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a009.html
Morecambe And Wise - Making Breakfast
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000984.html
Morecambe And Wise - Mastermind
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000985.html
Mother About George Bush
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000986.html
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Nun Chips
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Three nuns stand at the Pealry Gates of Heaven, and Saint Peter
turns to them and explains that they must answer a single question
each to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Sister Lara steps forward.
"Who was the first man on God's Earth?" asks Saint Peter.
"Adam," the sister replies. And the lights flash, the bells toll and
the gates of Heaven open.
Sister Evelyn steps forward and says she is ready.
"Who was the first woman on God's Earth?" asks Saint Peter.
"Eve," the sister replies. And the lights flash, the bells toll and
the gates of Heaven open.
The Mother Superior steps forward and announces that she is ready.
"What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" asks the Saint. The
Mother Superior is shocked.
"My goodness," she says, "that's a hard one." And the lights flash,
the bells toll and the gates of Heaven open.
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday
surprise by buying her a bra. He entered a ladies shop
rather intimidated, but the girls took charge to help him.
"What color?" they asked. He settled for white.
"How much does it cost?" he asked.
"Twenty dollars."
"Very good," he thought. All that remained was the size,
but he hadn't the faintest idea.
"Now sir, are they the size a pair of melons? Coconuts?
Grape fruits? Oranges?"
"No," he said, "nothing like that."
"Come on, sir, think. There must be something your wife's
bust resembles."
He thought long and hard and then looked up and said,
"Have you ever seen a Spaniel's ears?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to
concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and
relatives. His father tried every way possible to get Little Johnny
to occupy himself...television, ice cream, homework, video
games...but Little Johnny insisted on running back and forth behind
the players and calling out the cards they held.
The other players became so annoyed that they threatened to quit the
game and all go home. At this point, Little Johnny's uncle stood
up, took him by the hand, and led him out of the room.
His uncle soon returned back to the poker table without Little
Johnny, and without comment the game resumed. For the rest of the
afternoon, Little Johnny was nowhere to be seen and the card players
continued without any further interruptions.
After the poker game ended, Little Johnny's father asked the uncle,
"What in the world did you do to Little Johnny? I haven't heard a
peep from him all day!"
"Not much," Little Johnny's uncle replied. "I just showed him how
to masturbate."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Personals Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mafia leader seeks sleazy woman who can dodge bullets, meet
in rat-infested motels, and speak Russian. Must be able to
keep a secret.
Mormon male looking for one or more females for a long-term
relationship. Must have childbearing hips and be willing to
give birth to at least four children. Catholics need not apply.
Single, unemployed female with several children out of wedlock
is looking for a sugar daddy to support my children and me.
Skills include nose-wiping and diaper-changing. Ear plugs
included. No experience necessary.
Petite mountaineeress seeks tall female for climbing. If
you're under 6 feet tall, averse to ropes, or wary of long
expeditions, don't apply.
Single, white, affluent male starting a savage cult; orders
submissive, obedient followers to worship and praise my
every move. No shirt, no shoes, no service.
Ready? OK! Collegiate cheerleader looking for quarterback
to bring his helmet, pads, and offensive line to bed. First
and ten! Do it again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/He Hears
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Insp/HeHears.html
Jobs
http://community-2.webtv.net/nanbrown/JOBSOPPORTUNITIESU/
Portrait of Middle Age
http://www.carolspoetry.com/middle.html
Playing A Violin With Three Strings
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/PLAYINGAVIOLIN.HTML
What Is Love?
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wlove1.html
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Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari Via Wesley
world freestyle skating championship
http://tinyurl.com/2c7pzyv
Fake Science
http://tinyurl.com/28ve5tn
VW Beetle / Extreme Low Rider
http://tinyurl.com/3yddsfv
boomerang
http://tinyurl.com/28kl29z
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Patriotic Midis
http://d21c.com/emma3/july/midispc.html
Memorial Day Graphics
http://jsmagic.net/memorial/
File splitting Program
http://www.freebyte.com/hjsplit/
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.thepuppyplace.org/dogtips.html?
Kitty Korner
Aww Animals 5!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals5.html
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Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
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Movie Links
Spitz Hound
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81819.htm
Sex with the witness
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81820.htm
Stay off the pole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81821.htm
Store Clerk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81822.htm
Strip Tease
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81823.htm
Love
http://www.buffaloschips.com/3r44.htm
Hair Piece
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhg7.htm
Hang Onto That Pole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mjh.htm
Happy New Year
http://www.buffaloschips.com/76tg.htm
Hard Day
http://www.buffaloschips.com/o8u.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mother to teenage daughter: "You're going to have to
learn to lick your smoking problem... and you're
going to have to learn to lick your drinking
problem... and as for sex, well, h...uh...uh...you're
going to have to learn to fight that too !
=============================================
You know the romance is over when you come to bed,
ready to make love to your wife, and she is on the
phone, and she tells whoever she is talking to that
she will call them back in ten minutes...
================================================
The old professor goes to see a psychiatrist to
complain about his oversexed wife. The old professor
confides to the shrink, "Mrs. Professor will stop at
nothing to satisfy her lustful, kinky desires and
bottomless sexual cravings. What can I do?"
The psychiatrist says, "Please tell Mrs. Professor I'd
like her to make an appointment with me immediately."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grab
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30836.htm
Grand theft
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30837.htm
Hard Boiled
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30838.htm
Begging
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30839.htm
Not pretty
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30840.htm
Queer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/20841.htm
Dating Agency
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30842.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Poetry Chips
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I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still,
When suddenly a tiny bird,
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely,
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles,
Began to slip away,
He sang of far off places,
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers,
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window,
And crushed his fucking head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A cardinal, a bishop and a priest were at the train station awaiting
a train to Pittsburgh. The priest was elected to purchase the
tickets. The ticket seller was a very well endowed young lady. He
couldn't take his eyes off her chest and requested "three pickets to
titsburg". Immediately he realized his error and ran back to advise
the others what had happened. The bishop decided that he could sort
things out and proceeded to the ticket counter. He could easily see
the problem that the young priest had. He carefully enunciated that
he wanted three tickets to Pittsburgh and gave the clerk money. She
asked how he would like the change and he replied "nipples and
dimes". He was so embarrassed that he immediately returned to tell
the cardinal what had happened. The cardinal approached the clerk
and
told her that "two of my men have tried to obtain three tickets to
Pittsburgh. You have the money. I would like the tickets and I don't
care how you give the change". However, he felt that he should
advise
the young lady that her manner of dress was not appropriate. "Are
you
aware that your outfit is such that you put evil thoughts in the
mind
of every young man who sees you. You may think it funny now, but
some
day you will die. When you arrive at the Pearly Gates you will be
met
by St. Finger who will point his peter at you...."
Bill and Flo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Sincerely,
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President and Founder
Hoveround Corporation
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1792
Sandi's Bedtime Routine
BJ: Okay Sandi, it is bedtime.
Sandi, Rudy, Katie and Val head for BJ's bedroom.
Val goes under the bed. (not for much longer as she is 22 lbs and
growing). Rudy takes his position on the floor guarding against
monsters and villians. Katie is under the covers (she and Val are
cave
dogs).
Sandi, ah sweet Sandi, before she can go to sleep she has a routine
that must be fulfilled. The head butt, BJ and Sandi must press
their
heads together in a head hug. BJ must then rub the top of Sandi's
head.
Sandi is grinning knowing what comes next.... the night kiss. BJ
leans
over and gives Sandi a kiss on her head.
Done!
Now Sandi can either go to the foot of the bed, in front of the fan
or she can curl up in Dad's arms and go to sleep, it is 50-50 on
this
one. During the night, she will wind up in Dad's arms, head next
to his and in his arms, snoring with no cares in the world. The
rest
of the night she will be at the foot of the bed.
When asked by a local TV reporter which she prefers..
Sandi: I am in Heaven in our bed, so it makes little difference.
In
Daddy's arms, I have no fears or cares..sigh!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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