Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It's 37 degrees outside and we did have snow last night, big
old flakes, the size of an Oreo cookie. Some people's yards
got covered but not enough to break out the snowmobiles
and it was all gone before dawn as most of the frost is out
of the ground. The outdoor gardening places already have
plants out and I am sure there will be a lot of people who
will be looking for replacements with hard freezes up here
normally into June.
Today was also the citywide clean-up with prizes, T-shirts, and
a city sponsored picnic at Sherman Park. To complicate things
there is a 20 mph wind blowing outside that gives you a wind-chill
around 25 degrees. Definitely hooded sweat shirt, jogging pants
and gloves weather.
I watched the Tigers-Indians game this afternoon and it looked like
Cleveland has the same weather and a lot of the fans had stadium
blankets. You have to be a serious fan to sit through 3 hours of
that.
Much better to sit at home at 72 degrees. heh heh
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kinky Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple has been dating for three months, and the sex is getting
dull.
One night they're lying in bed when the girl says, "Harry, want to
try something new? It's very kinky."
He says, "Sure."
She says, "Stand over me and take a shit on me."
He stands up, straddles her, squats a bit, and takes a dump on her
chest.
She says, "Now lie in it on top of me and screw me."
He lies on top of her, with the shit oozing between them, and she
gives him the wildest hump he's ever had.
The next time they're lying in bed, it's boring and she asks him to
do it again. He stands over her and grinds out a huge turd onto her
chest. Then he lies on her, and they have another incredible lay.
As time goes on, Harry really gets into it. He eats like a horse on
the days before their dates, because it seems the more he craps on
her, the better the sex is.
One Thursday night, he has the runs, so on Friday morning he eats a
few cheese sandwiches and downs a whole bottle of Kaopectate before
he goes to work, so he won't wheedle down his legs at the office.
That night, he goes to her house, they go in the bedroom and get
undressed, she lies on the bed, he stands over her, and squats down,
and grunts...but nothing comes out. He strains a bit, and grunts,
and then llbbt!...a little fart...but nothing of any substance. For
a few minutes, he's pushing and grunting, when suddenly he hears her
crying.
He says, "Honey, what's wrong?"
She says, "You're seeing someone else, aren't you???"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
what do you think
http://www.thepostm
the cat
http://www.thepostm
more about that cat
http://www.thepostm
Meteor Crash
http://sydesjokes.
Microsofts Second Commercial With Jerry Seinfeld And Bill Gate
http://sydesjokes.
Microwave Man
http://sydesjokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
NASA Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
NASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs
and Kiki, a stunning blond. When the rocket is outside the
stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: "Houston
here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us? Over."
"Oink, oink, here Pig 1, read you loud and clear"
"Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?
"Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate
the moon landing. Over."
"That's right. Over and out."
They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage. "Hello,
Pig
2?
Come in please."
"Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear."
"OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?
"Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press
on the green button to initiate the launch program."
"That's right, Pig 2. Over and out."
An hour later when the rocket has achieved the correct speed the
last stage drops off as planned. Ground control contacts the
astronauts again. "Houston here, Kiki, come in. Kiki do you read
us?"
"Kiki here, reading you loud and clear."
"Kiki, do you remember your instructions?
"Yes," Kiki says, "I feed the two pigs and keep my hands off any
buttons."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tourist Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Things not to say while visiting a foreign country:
IRELAND
"Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is
black- did a leprechaun crap in it?"
FRANCE
"Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren't the French just
Germans who can make sauces?"
ITALY
"Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus?
I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O'
POLAND
"Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?"
GERMANY
"Is this bratwurst kosher?"
TURKEY
"Where's the hash at? It's cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?"
KOREA
"Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people
deep fry him?"
CHINA
"This wall isn't so great."
SWEDEN
"Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a
dumb blonde joke?"
YEMEN
"Yemen? That's a stupid name for a country. What's it
mean -- 'Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ?"
INDIA
"You don't live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy
steak around here?"
SPAIN
"So, this is the country that's not Portugal? Wow. Your
women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get
some Cheez Whiz nachos?"
MEXICO
"What's that smell?"
SAUDI ARABIA
"Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car?
Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?"
RUSSIA
"Is it always this cold and economically devastated?"
UZBEKISTAN
"Can you spell Uzbekistan?"
GREECE
"I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy."
AFGHANISTAN
"Seriously, where is the real country? Where is everything?"
JAPAN
"What's Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?"
AUSTRALIA
"How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?"
AMERICA
"Was John Wayne gay?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rotoshave - The World's #1 Electric Razor
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Law Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to
have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In
addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be
published in the local newspaper. The man does not
receive any punishment.
No woman may go in public without wearing a corset in
Norfolk, Virginia.
In the state of Washington there is a law against having
sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (including the
wedding night)
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is
the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position
is considered illegal.
In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed
women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.
In Ames Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps
of beer while lying in bed with his wife.
A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a
husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells
like garlic, onions, or sardines.
In Bozeman, Montana, you can't perform any sexual acts
in the front yard of any home, after sundown, and if you
are nude.
A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance
on a saloon table unless her clothing weights more than
three pounds, two ounces.
Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to
provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest.
According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they
are wearing the nightshirts.
Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally
sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken
to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.
During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple
should engage in a sexual act while parked in their
vehicle, unless their car has curtains.
In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear
patent-leather shoes.
In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun
while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Plaque Attack Triple Care Dental Spray
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ingredients then do all the work to break up bacteria, plaque, and
built up tartar.
Learn More
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meeting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A true story. A few years ago, Japanese Prime Minister Mori was
given some basic English conversation training before he visited
Washington and met President Bill Clinton. The instructor told
Prime Minister Mori, "When you shake hands with President Clinton,
please say 'How are you?' Then Mr. Clinton will say, 'I am fine,
and you?' Then you should say 'Me too.' Afterwards we, translators,
will do the work for you." It looks quite simple, but the truth is
when Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who are you?" instead of
"How are you?" Mr.
Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor,
"Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha..." And Mori replied, "Me too,
ha-
ha..." Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Find out about ordering today a receiving a second Soap Magic
dispenser free.
Limited time offer so act now.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Forever In My Heart
http://silverandgol
John w/ A Diamond on Mother's Day
http://heavens-
Remembering Mother
http://www.loratrue
Carol w/One Day in a Lifetime
http://www.carolspo
You are The Only You God Has
http://www.Shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari Via Dianne
Grog's Boating Knots Index
http://www.animated
Astronomy Picture Calendar
http://antwrp.
Haunted Places In Idaho
http://theshadowlan
Space Weather
http://spaceweather
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Add Reflections to Your Images
http://www.wetfloor
Create and Share Route Maps with Friends
http://www.umapper.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.citizenl
Kitty Korner
http://www.showshow
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Simmons
http://www.buffalos
Poor Mailman
http://www.buffalos
Cute Doctor
http://www.buffalos
Bumble Butt
http://www.buffalos
Happy Ending
http://www.buffalos
Stethoscope
http://www.buffalos
China
http://www.buffalos
Super Models
http://www.buffalos
Suzuki
http://www.buffalos
Swallowing
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bar Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chuck was always shy with girls. One evening, he got his best
friend, Bob, to go with him to a singles bar. Bob, being very
experienced, was supposed to help Chuck in his quest for
female companionship, and sexual companionship.
One sweet young thing in the room noticed Chuck, thought he
was cute, and decided to make contact with him. Since she was
a little shy, she could not just go up to him, but had to use
gestures.
"Bob," Chuck said. "That girl over there is giving me the eye.
What should I do?"
"Give her the eye back," replied Bob. So Chuck, as best as he
could, gave her the eye. A few moments passed.
"Bob," said Chuck, now getting rather excited. "She's smiling
at me. What do I do?"
"Smile back," was the reply. So Chuck, trying to appear cool
and calm, smiled back. A few more moments passed.
"Bob!" exclaimed Chuck. "She bent over and showed me her tits.
Now what do I do?"
"Show her your nuts," Bob calmly replied.
So Chuck turned toward the girl, stuck his thumbs in his ears,
and waving his fingers stuck out his tongue, and wiggling it,
exclaimed, "Bluble, bluble, bluble!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Camping
http://www.buffalos
I'm No Drive In Bank
http://www.buffalos
Gopher Hole
http://www.buffalos
Canned Tits
http://www.buffalos
Clara
http://www.buffalos
I'll Have the Brown Crap
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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CovermMate food covers are reusable and dishwasher safe.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a man named Odom
Whose balls were too big for his scrotum
Though it was relief that he sought
It all went for naught
Cause he didn't know how to unloadem
There was a guy from Nantucket
He told his wife to suck it
When he didn't cum
She said he was dumb
And hit him upside the head with a bucket.
There once was a man named Vic
Who pleasured himself with a stick
He once got it stuck
And said "what the fuck?"
And now there's no room for a prick!
«¤»§«¤»§«¤»§«¤»
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hoveround has been helping people regain their mobility for over 17
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believe that everyone should be free to get out and explore the
world, even if they're on a tight budget.
Did you know that 9 out of 10 Hoveround owners got their power
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forms to fill out and no upfront costs if you qualify.
Get your Complimentary Information Kit here:
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Upon receipt of your information we will send you a complimentary
no-obligation information kit with DVD. Once again, there are no
costs to qualify. Don't wait to regain your mobility and your
freedom - ACT NOW because life in a Hoveround is BETTER ALL AROUND.
Sincerely,
Thomas E. Kruse
President and Founder
Hoveround Corporation
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sarah and Abe are out celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary.
During
the evening, Sarah broaches the subject of (their) life insurance,
an
issue she has been raising with him for at least 10 years, without
success.
"Abe," she says, with tears in her eyes, "I don't think you love
me."
"Why do you think that?" he asks.
"Because if you really loved me, you would ensure that if anything
happened to you, God forbid, I would be properly provided for."
"Sarah," he says angrily, "I need life insurance like I need a hole
in
the head."
"I know your views," says Sarah, "but I've spoken to two of my
friends
recently and they tell me that their husbands have life insurance --
and
they're not as rich as you. If it's good enough for them, why isn't
it
good enough for you?"
"I'll tell you why," replies Abe. "It's because they've been paying
high
premiums month after month, and what have they got so far in return?
Nothing!"
"So what if their husbands have been paying for nothing?" says
Sarah.
"You've always told me I'm luckier than my friends -- who knows,
maybe
this time I'll strike it rich."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1785
The Lab
The Group heads to the basement and Val's eyes are wide open as she
sees all the equipment and things new to her.
Val: This is amazing.
Katie: Sigh, I made many inventions here Val. Look at all the
Robots
over there.
Val: They look like you Katie.
Rudy: They are RoboKates. Some worked but most were dangerous
and failures.
Sandi: There are some we have not tried yet. We had some
Replickates make other Robokates so we do not know what they do.
Val: Wow that sounds exciting. What is that maching over there?
Katie wearing her white lab coat: It is the UFO/Time Machine Can
opener. We can take trips through time, or visit other planets and
open difficult cans with it.
Val: Looks like a UPS truck to me.
Sandi: Silly girl. Looks are deceiving.
Val: So when can I try something?
Katie: Oh not for sometime. You are just still a child.
Val sneaks over and hits button on a RoboKatie and ....
To be continue
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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