THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot.
In your soul are infinitely precious things
that cannot be taken from you.
- Oscar Wilde
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
So far, the weather has NOT been kind to us biker
kinda folks this year:( Last week gave us only
a couple of decent riding days, and this week looks
not much better. With temps mostly in the fifties,
and pretty much rainy days, I am definitely getting
"antsy" I am not sure what that word means, its one
of those vague terms that means, well, you figger it
out. Sunday will be the annual "blessing of the bikes." The problem
with that is that they have it so early it is always
generally too cold...and this looks to be no exception
this year. I was out and about for a while yesterday, but
it was still breezy and chilly. Nothing I would call
"a grand day for riding". Oh well, guess I should not
live in Michigan if I ride a motorcycle, eh?
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
your problem is simple
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z010.html
definite
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z011.html
relax Charlotte
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z012.html
this one
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z013.html
freak accident
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z014.html
when I was born
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z015.html
identifying
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z016.html
4.7 minutes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z017.html
your daughter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z018.html
pervert
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z019.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
funny stuff
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9585.html
bad morning
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9586.html
Jesus the musical
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9587.html
will you marry me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9588.html
fat stripper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9589.html
you don't have to be smart to drive a Ferrari
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9590.html
_____________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
Russian cathedrals
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd075.html
snatch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd074.html
the Mosel river
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd076.html
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband
was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with
her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her
husband's car pull into the driveway. Oh My God! Hurry!
Grab your clothes," she yelled to her lover,"and jump
out the window. My husband's home early!"
"I can't jump out the window!" came the strangled
reply from beneath the sheets. "It's raining out there!"
"If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!"
she replied. "He's got a very quick temper and a very
large gun! The rain is the least of your problems!"
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes
and jumps out the window! As he began running down the
street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he
had run right into the middle of the town's annual
marathon. So he started running along beside the others,
about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes
tucked under his arm, he tried to "blend in" as best
he could. It wasn't that effective!
After a little while, a small group of runners, who had
been studying him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
"Do you always run in the nude?" one asked.
"Oh, yes!" he replied, gasping for air. "It feels so
wonderfully free having the air blow over all your
skin while you're running."Another runner moved alongside.
"Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under
your arm?""Oh, yes!" our friend answered breathlessly.
"That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run
and get in my car to go home!"
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little
lower and queried."Do you always wear a condom when you run?"
"Only when it's raining," he replied.
_______________
To make it Stand,
You Wet it !
To make it Wet,
You Suck it !
To make it Stiff,
You Lick it !
To Get It In,
You Push it!
Then at the last second it goes limp.
Damn!!!!
Threading a Needle when you're AN OLD FART is a real Bitch.
____________
Remember, Dogs And Cats Are Better Than Kids
Because They:
1 Eat less,
2 Don't ask for money all the time,
3 Are easier to train,
4 Normally come when called,
5 Never ask to drive the car,
6 Don't hang out with drug-using people;
7 Don't smoke or drink,
8 Don't want to wear your clothes,
9 Don't have to buy the latest fashions,
10 Need a gazillion dollars for college an
11 If they get pregnant, I can sell their children.
_________
Q. What are night terrors?
A. Frightening episodes in which the new mother
dreams she's pregnant again.
Q "How do you spell clitoris?"
A. "I don't know, but I had it on the tip of my
tongue just a moment ago."
Q. What is colic?
A. A reminder for new parents to use birth control.
Q. What happens when two bullets get married?
A. They have a little BB.
Q. Why do women like wearing black panties?
A. It's a way for them to say,
"In memory of those who were buried here"
____________
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines,
surly clerks, and insane regulations at the department of
motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a
gift for my son. I brought my selection - a baseball bat
- to the cash register. "Cash or charge?" the clerk asked.
"Cash," I snapped. Then, apologizing for my rudeness,
I explained, "I've spent the afternoon at the motor-
vehicle bureau." "Shall I gift wrap the bat?" the clerk
asked sweetly. "Or, are you going back there?"
__________
You Still Might Be A Redneck If .....
Your blood alcohol content has ever exceeded your I.Q.
You couldn't go to church because your Sunday socks
were being used as your truck's gas cap.
You think the vowels are E..I..E..I..O.
You clean your car or truck out with a leaf blower.
You think "Meals on Wheels" is another name for road-kill.
You think Wal-Mart is too expensive.
__________
BUFFALO BILL
Just Once
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42051.htm
IRS
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42603.htm
It Fits
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32157.htm
___________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Missile Hit
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000963.html
Misunderstanding
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000964.html
Mitsubishi Eclipse
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000965.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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