Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Let's look at the famous people that were born this month.
1. Steve Cauthen, Kate Smith
2. Dr. Benjamin Spock, Georgianna Jacobson
3. Joe Namath, Golda Meir, Earl Allen Jr.
4. Audrey Hepburn, George Will
5. Karl Marx, Tammy Wynette, Nancy Cantafio
6. Willie Mays, Sigmund Freud, Orson Welles
7. Johnny Unitas, Piotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, Johannes Brahms
8. Harry Truman, Melissa Gilbert, Nick Kmita
9. Billy Joel, Kevin Tobin, Diane D., Cindy Jensen
10. Fred Astaire, Phil Mahre
11. Salvador Dali, Irving Berlin, Dave E.
12. Yogi Berra, Katharine Hepburn, Arlene O'Neil
13. Stevie Wonder, Dennis Rodman, Don Sipe
14. George Lucas, Jose Da Silveira, John Ross, Linda Reed
15. Emmit Smith, George Brett, John Smoltz
16. Pierce Brosnan, Janet Jackson, Henry Fonda
17. Bob Saget, Jeff Bagwell, Sugar Ray Leonard
18. Pope John Paul II, Reggie Jackson
19. Peter Townshend, Malcolm X
20. Cher, Bronson Pinchot
21. Harold Robbins, Mr. T, Tinya g Norris
22. Richard Benjamin, Laurence Olivier, Bill Lacy
23. Joan Collins, Scatman Crothers, Mary Bartley
24. Bob Dylan, Priscilla Presley, David Wadleigh
25. Dixie Carter, Connie Selleca
26. Sally Ride, Genie Francis, Al Jolson
27. Frank Thomas, Henry Kissinger, Louis Gossett, Jr.
28. Jim Thorpe, Jerry West, Ian Fleming
29. John F. Kennedy, Bob Hope, Melissa Etheridge
30. Gale Sayers, Mel Blanc
31. Brooke Shields, Prince Rainier III
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Sign Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A certain Jewish gentleman was having a run of very bad luck. (I
won't bore everybody with the FULL details, but suffice it to say
that his wife was divorcing him, his Mother-in-law was foreclosing
on the mortgage on his house, his car was re-possessed, and his
daughter was getting her name changed. Not to mention the fact that
his business was in the process of going bankrupt.
He decided to end it all and went to the kitchen to find a carving
knife with which to slash his wrists.
Just as he was about to carry out this grisly task he realized he
was hungry so he opened the refrigerator (No sense dying on an empty
stomach) and took out a bagel, sliced it in half and buttered it.
He was just in the process of transferring it to his mouth when it
slipped out of his hand somersaulted several times and landed on the
kitchen floor BUTTER SIDE UP !! (See Law of Selective Gravity)
As his kitchen was carpeted with a lovely bit of $100 a yard cloth
of gold, he realized that there must be some extreme significance to
this apparently random fluke of Nature and so, putting his
self-destruction plans on "hold", he grabbed his hat and coat and
raced off to the synagogue where he breathlessly related the whole
story to the Rabbi.
"Rabbi, d'you think it's a sign from God that my luck is going to
change? Please Rabbi, tell me the meaning of the sign!"
The Rabbi regarded him carefully and responded thus:
"My Son, I must consult the Holy Books. I must discuss this with the
learned Men. Put $100 in the collection for the poor and come back
on Tuesday, when all will be revealed."
He did as he was asked and walked home a lighter and somewhat
happier man.
Now he was on tenterhooks until Tuesday. He couldn't sleep wondering
about the significance of the Bagel which defied the Law of
Selective Gravity. The hours dragged past slowly until finally
Tuesday morning arrived and he rushed once more to the synagogue.
"Rabbi! Rabbi! You remember me! The man with the bad luck and the
bagel. Tell me, Rabbi, have you solved the significance of the
sign?"
"My Son, I have consulted the Holy Books and the Ancient Wisdom, I
have discussed at great length with the learned men what happened
with the bagel, and I am sure we have reached the meaning of the
sign."
"Tell me Rabbi! Tell me!"
"You buttered it on the wrong side, you Schmuck!"
(Schmuck = Prick)
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
what did you expect
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job in the city
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dating tip
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Man Vs Chimp
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Manix Condom Advert
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Mans Favorite Tool
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
View Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
To the couple fucking on the third floor apt across the street from
my office:
We at X Associates would like to thank you for your weekly Friday
show. every Friday at 4 we can count on you to get it on and on and
on.
I must admit my surprise in a city full of skyscrapers that someone
in a third floor apt in midtown doesn't see the need for window
coverings of any sort especially when there is a 17 floor office
building across the street.
I only can assume you are feeling the need to keep up with the porn
shop that opened up on the first floor of your building. though I
question your intelligence I applaud your lusty lifestyle.
Last weeks super freaky positions sex was great fun. all the
engineers here are still trying to work out the logistics on a
couple of those positions, and we are fairly sure that one of them
is physically impossible due to the stresses it would put on the
female body.
This weeks theme seems to be speed fucking from behind...and was
that a third person in the room we saw, we aren't sure but oh what
randy fun. and once again we are amused, and titillated.
You have no idea what a welcome break you bring when the call comes
from that side of our office that the fuckers are at it again.
The cubicles clear out and you have 20 some odd men, and one woman
(me) pressed against the windows.
As much as we enjoy the current show we do have some ideas that
could really bring it to the next level of enjoyment for your
adoring viewers.
1. Invest in some kind of glare free glass for the window. the glare
gets nasty on overcast days like today and we could barely make out
who was slapping who on the ass.
2. Move a bit closer to the window...not too close, just say a foot.
this give us the viewer the premium viewing situation.
3. Man...get rid of the chubby girl, from certain angles well she is
just too much woman for us.
4. Sex against the window, just think about the fun that would be
had for all, you then could see us we could see you, it would be a
wonderous intimate act for the 25 of us.
5. Maybe add one more show a week, I know last week you did a bonus
wednesday show and it went over great, it really warmed us up for
friday.
I would really like once again to thank you on behalf of us all here
at X Associates. you make what is the best day of the work week here
even better, because nothing can beat seeing two young people as
yourself fuck like monkeys right before we leave this hellhole for
the weekend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Erection Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.
The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and
that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males
employed there. She then asked if there was something with which she
could help the gentleman with.
The man said that it was something that he would be much more
comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.
The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely
professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could
be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of
professionalism.
The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to
discuss, but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of
problems and severe embarrassment. So I was wondering what you
could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When s he returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the
absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership in the store, a company
car, and $5,000.00 a month living expenses
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Under a tree a lion tries to sleep, when he hears strange laughing.
He rises and strolls to the bushes where the laughter seems to come
from. Behind the bush a group of elephant bulls is sitting in a
circle and they are laughing their heads off.
Lion: "Hey elephants, why are you laughing?"
Elephant: "We're fucking some monkeys"
Lion: "Well, I do that too, but I don't see what's so funny about
it."
Elephant: "That's because they don't explode when YOU cum !"
Horowitz was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go home.
He walked into the house and found his wife Fanny in the arms of
another man. He started to yell at the interloper, "What right have
you got to be making love to my wife?"
The man answered calmly, "You may as well know that I am in love
with Fanny and I would like to marry her. I understand you're a
gambler. Why don't you be a good sport and sit down and play a game
of gin rummy with me? If I lose, I'll never see her again; if you
lose, you must agree to divorce her.... Okay?"
"Okay," replied Horowitz, "but just to make it a little more
interesting, why don't we play for a dollar a point?" Hank
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day a 5th grade class was taking a field trip but the weather
was extremely bad and the trip was to be delayed and they had to
stay in a hotel for the night. So Little Johnny was sleeping in the
same room as his teacher.
In the middle of the night the teacher woke up and was frightened by
the sight of Johnny standing right over her.
He asked if he could sleep with her cause he couldn't sleep.
She said okay, then Johnny asked to lay a little closer and she said
okay.
Then he asked if he could put his finger in her belly button and she
said "NO"
"But my mommy lets me do it when I can't sleep and it helps."
So the teacher says, "Okay fine, do whatever your mom lets you do."
A few minutes later the teacher says "OH. that's not my
bellybutton.
And Johnny says, "that's not my finger."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Not Invited
http://www.silveran
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-
John w/ My Special Angel
http://heavens-
Walk With Jesus
http://www.shangral
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Surfin Surfari
Safety Pin Via Dianne
http://www.sjmv.
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Check Your Symptoms
http://health.
Tequila and Mezcal for Cinco de Mayo
http://www.tastings
Best Movie Mistakes
http://www.moviemis
Complete recipes
http://www.complete
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
BSOD Survival Guide
http://www.maximump
Free Firewalls
http://personalfire
http://www.tallemu.
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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.petstati
Kitty Korner
http://www.funniest
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Movie Links
Midgey
http://www.buffalos
Momma Is Santa
http://www.buffalos
Morning Peepers
http://www.buffalos
Moshonov
http://www.buffalos
Mother's Day
http://www.buffalos
Moulin Huge
http://www.buffalos
Love 2008
http://www.buffalos
Love Boat
http://www.buffalos
Lucha
http://www.buffalos
Luckiest Man On The Planet
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Lucky 1
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Goat Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A farmer asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defend him
against a charge of bestiality.
"I know a great trial lawyer," the fellow said, "but he's expensive
and doesn't know how to pick a jury. I know another lawyer," he
continued, "who's not a great trial lawyer, but he's cheap and
really knows how to pick a jury."
The farmer settled on the cheap attorney, but immediately had second
thoughts when the key witness, a neighbor, began his testimony.
"I saw Jed mount his goat from behind," he said, "and when he was
finished, I saw the goat turn around and lick Jed's pecker."
The accused farmer was devastated and had all but given up
hope of acquittal when a juror in overalls whispered to the fellow
next to him, "You know, a good goat will do that."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aol Toilet
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apple
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apples
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appointment
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arab blowup doll
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arab get oil
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A transvestite from Lyford-By-Tyme
Was in court for a horrific crime,
Said, "Your honor, oh no!
It cannot be so
For I was a broad at the time. ____________
Thre was an old Scotsman of Fife
Who had left, in the course of his life,
Scores of well-rounded ends
Of the wives of his friends
And likewise of friends of his wife.
____________
An arrogant wench from Salt Lake
Liked to tease all the boys on the make.
She was finally the prize
Of a man twice her size
And all she recalls is the ache.
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW FAST CAN YOU GUESS THESE WORDS?
1. B o o _ s
2. _ _ n d o m
3. F _ _ k
4. P _ n _ s
5. P u _ s _
Answers Below, Don't cheat
Answers:
1. Books also Boots
2. Random
3. Fork also Fink, Funk
4. Pants also Panes, Pines, Ponys,
5. Pulse also Purse
You got all 5 wrong DIDN'T YOU!
I got one match and several acceptable alternatives before looking
at the answers. Oh yeah, my list included the 5 you thought of too.
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1778
Val's Sleeping Arrangments
Val is getting sleepy and wants to go to bed. She heads for Diana's
bed.
Diana: You want to sleep with me girl?
Val (in a whiney voice): Yes... Rudy is asleep, Sandi is sleeping
with dad as is Katie, so I am alone.
Diana: Here ya go girl.
Val's tail wags and she is soon curled up next to Diana's neck.
Diana to herself: This is pretty nice... I could get used to this.
Val to herself: This really nice, I think I will sleep here every
night.
And so it is, Diana has Val as a sleeping partner...
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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