Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I am going to let the President have this space today. It is a
really
good proclamation.
Presidential Proclamation-Memorial Day
May 28th, 2010 Since our Nation's founding, America's sons and
daughters have given their lives in service to our country. From
Concord and Gettysburg to Marne and Normandy, from Inchon and Khe
Sanh to Baghdad and Kandahar, they departed our world as heroes and
gave their lives for a cause greater than themselves.
On Memorial Day, we pay tribute to those who have paid the ultimate
price to defend the United States and the principles upon which
America was founded. In honor of our country's fallen, I encourage
all Americans to unite at 3:00 p.m. local time to observe a National
Moment of Remembrance.
Today, Americans from all backgrounds and corners of our country
serve with valor, courage, and distinction in the United States
Armed Forces. They stand shoulder to shoulder with the giants of
our Nation's history, writing their own chapter in the American
story. Many of today's warriors know what it means to lose a friend
too soon, and all our service members and their families understand
the true meaning of sacrifice.
This Memorial Day, we express our deepest appreciation to the men
and women in uniform who gave their last full measure of devotion so
we might live in freedom. We cherish their memory and pray for the
peace for which they laid down their lives. We mourn with the
families and friends of those we have lost, and hope they find
comfort in knowing their loved ones died with honor. We ask for
God's grace to protect those fighting in distant lands, and we renew
our promise to support our troops, their families, and our veterans.
Their unwavering devotion inspires us all - they are the best of
America.
It is our sacred duty to preserve the legacy of these brave
Americans, and it remains our charge to work for peace, freedom, and
security. Let us always strive to uphold the founding principles
they died defending; let their legacy continue to inspire our
Nation; and let this solemn lesson of service and sacrifice be
taught to future generations of Americans.
In honor of their dedication and service to America, the Congress,
by a Joint Resolution, approved May 11, 1950, as amended (36 U.S.C.
116), has requested the President to issue a proclamation calling on
the people of the United States to observe each Memorial Day as a
day of prayer for permanent peace and designating a period on that
day when the people of the United States might unite in prayer. The
Congress, by Public Law 106-579, has also designated 3:00 p.m. local
time on that day as a time for all Americans to observe, in their
own way, the National Moment of Remembrance.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of
America, do hereby proclaim Memorial Day, May 31, 2010, as a day of
prayer for permanent peace, and I designate the hour beginning in
each locality at 11:00 a.m. of that day as a time to unite in
prayer. I also ask all Americans to observe the National Moment of
Remembrance beginning at 3:00 p.m. local time on Memorial Day.
I request the Governors of the United States and the Commonwealth
of Puerto Rico, and the appropriate officials of all units of
government, to direct that the flag be flown at half-staff until
noon on this Memorial Day on all buildings, grounds, and naval
vessels throughout the United States and in all areas under its
jurisdiction and control. I also request the people of the United
States to display the flag at half staff from their homes for the
customary forenoon period.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-eighth
day of May, in the year of our Lord two thousand ten, and of the
Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and
thirty-fourth.
BARACK OBAMA
Enjoy the holiday.... buffalo
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Little Johnny Chips
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In Little Johnny's classroom, the teacher gave the class a homework
assignment. She wanted them to tell the class one talent that they
had and that they were especially good at.
The next day the Teacher calls on Mary. Mary got up and said "I've
been taking piano lessons for 2 years. The teacher told Mary that
was very good.
After all of the other students told about their talent, the teacher
doesn't have a choice but to let Little Johnny have his turn. She
doesn't want to call on him because she is scared of what he is
going to say.
She asked Little Johnny to tell the class about his special talent.
He stood up and said, " This is my special talent". Then he stuck
his tongue out.
The teacher said, "Little Johnny, I don't understand." "How is your
tongue a special talent"?
Little Johnny said, "See this ball where my tongue is pierced? My
babysitter said that was a special talent because not every boy that
she baby sits for has a pussy grinder!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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a woman
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pansis
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Fortune Cookie
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Fosters Australian For Piss
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Fosters Beer Advert
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Parrot Chips
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A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful
parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first
that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and
sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird
anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living
room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house,
new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought
"that's not so bad."
When her two tennage daughters returned from school the bird saw
them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh
about the situation.
Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work. The
bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith."
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Flying Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City
to Chicago.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother
and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats,
why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the
stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby
dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby
planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "yes she did".
"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because
Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that
to you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Apartment Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My daughters and I had just moved into Building D in a large
apartment complex. Soon afterward, we gave a "ladies only"
lingerie-sales party for my daughters' friends. The party was well
under way when there was a knock at the door. The young man
standing there got a glimpse of attractive young women modeling
bikinis and nightgowns, and his eyes widened. "A friend told me
there might be a rental in Building G," he stammered. I told him he
had the wrong address and gave him directions.
A minute later I heard a tentative knock. It was the same young
man.
"Are there any vacancies in this building?" he asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alternative Names for Condoms
Fiveskin.
Navy seal.
Rascal Wrapper.
Weinerhosen.
Freudian Slip.
Jimmy the Sleek.
Mount Hood.
Johnson Control.
Surge Protector.
Head gasket.
The Great Barrier Sheath.
Little Red Riding Hood.
Probe robe.
Propellant Pelellant.
Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.
Wild Willy's Worm Puppet.
Stiffie Stocking.
Inconceivable.
Love glove.
Rumpled Stiltskin.
Woody's wetsuit.
Sperminam Terminal.
Dong Sarong.
Pricknic Basket.
Dick C Cup.
Uterus Excluderous.
Member Muzzle.
Bone Bonnet.
Gene Pool.
Cummer Bun.
Flesh Fedora.
Wanger Hanger.
SCUBA (self-Contained Undercover Boning Apparatus).
Sleave It to Beaver.
Seal-A-Meal.
Baby Buggy Buffer.
Mr. Hardon's Dress X.
Peter Parka.
Chromosome Dome.
Cloak For Dagger.
sperm-Aside.
Pregnot.
Hard again Cardigan.
Non-Breeder's Cup.
Dork Cork.
Throbbin' Hood.
Full Latex Jacket.
Child-Proof Lid. .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Tribute ~ written by one of our Veterans
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/HDy/Tri.html
John w/ Memorial Day Tribute
http://heavensgates.us/memorialday/
Rick w/ In Memory (Memorial Day)
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/ram/MemorialDay.html
Freedom Isn't Free
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedom.html
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10 Things to Remember About Memorial Day Via Dianne
http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/25844
Memorial Day
http://www.americanfamilytraditions.com/memorial_day.htm
Ray Stevens - Thank You Via Scott
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTQp9713TdI&feature=channel
Why My Son?
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/why.html
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
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Remember Them
http://www.mamarocks.com/remember_them.htm
Memorial Day Link--Sound ON
http://www.saintsandheroes.com/oneday1/
Melva/Forgotten Heros
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Holiday2/Heros.html
Lest We Forget #1
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PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
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Melva/Freedom Is Not Free
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/HDy/Fr.html
Lest We Forget #2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lestweforget2.html
Proud Of Our Troops #1
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Movie Links
Making Up
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Mama's Boobs
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Milk
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Money
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What Came Over Me (Buffalo Made Me Do This)
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Why College Takes 5 Years
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Wild
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Dirty Sneakers
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Dodge Viper VS Tzero Electric Car
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Dog in Trance
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Biscuit Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A girl is about to tie the knot, and is watching her
mother bake biscuits in the kitchen.
"Mom?" she asks. "How do you keep Dad so happy after
all these years of marriage?"
The mother promptly threw a wad of biscuit dough on
the floor, hikes up her dress, and squats down picking
the dough up with her vagina.
"Practice this and when you can do it, I'll guarantee
that your man will be satisfied for the rest of his
life," said her mother.
So the girl practiced and practiced until her wedding
night.
While her anxious husband waited for her in the bed,
she emerged wearing a sexy negligee, carrying a can of
biscuit dough. She opened the can, threw the dough on
the floor, lifted her negligee, and squatted over the
dough, letting out a thunderous fart as she did so.
Her husband, startled, jumped from the bed and backed
away.
"What's wrong, honey?" she asked.
He replied, "Shit woman!" as he stepped further away.
"If that thing barks like that for a biscuit, I sure
as hell don't want to throw any meat at it!"
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Toon Chips
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camp tent feet
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camping
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campus
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can of shut the fuck up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mbncvbvc.htm
can you see my penis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gnjckbcv.htm
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Poetry Chips
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If I were a cowboy
I'd eat lots of beans.
I'd do lots-o-cussin'
And wear skintight jeans,
Suede boots with high heels
And long pointy toes,
And a shirt with pearl buttons
And a big yellow rose,
And a ten gallon stetson
With a band made of feathers,
And a handcrafted belt
Made of five different leathers,
And a big shiny buckle
Of silver and gold,
And a furry lined vest
So I don't get too cold,
And lizard-skin holsters
With pearl handle guns,
And hard leather chaps
So I don't hurt my buns.
I'd ride a white stallion
And live on the prairie.
Tall in the saddle
And dressed like a fairy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old man went in to see the doctor and said, "Doc, I'm turning
eighty tomorrow. I've hired a hooker for the night, and I'd love to
do it just one more time before I die. Can you give me something
that'll get me up?"
The doctor smiled. "I don't normally prescribe this stuff, but I
think in your case I can make an exception for one night."
Later that night, out of curiosity, the doctor phoned the elderly
man and asked, "How's it going?"
"Fabulous," the old man said. "I've cum three times already."
"That's great," the doctor said. "the hooker must be astounded."
"Not exactly," the old man said. "She's not here yet."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1802
Mommy
Rudy: What's with toots?
Sandi: Hush she is sick. Dad is working with her.
Katie: I am nervous.
Val: Me to. What is dad doing?
Sandi: I think he phoning for an ambulance.
Rudy: A-rooo!
BJ: It is going to be okay guys. I have phoned for professional
help.
Later sirens blazing...The dogs are nervous and scared.
They watch as Diana is taken away.....
Rudy: I am very sad.
BJ: I have to go to the hospital. Here Rudy have one of your nerve
pills.
Rudy: Can I wash it down with some Scotch?
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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