THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Women are basically greedy.
They want all things from one man.
While men are so simple.
They want only one thing from all women.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked;
'How heavy is this glass of water?'
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer
I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'
He continued,
'And that's the way it is with stress management..
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
We won't be able to carry on. '
'As with the glass of water,
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.'
'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work
down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can.'
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to
you right now. Don't pick it up again until
after you've rested a while.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
Rules for Bullshit Bingo:
1. Before Barrack Obama's next televised speech,
print your "Bullshit Bingo"
2. Check off the appropriate block when you hear
one of those words/phrases.
3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically,
or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"
[or Shout out ?PELOSI? (means the same thing)]
________________
THE COMICS
see that?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y001.html
lied
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y002.html
yield
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y003.html
quick fling
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y004.html
don't worry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y005.html
please help
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y006.html
eventually
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y007.html
seeds
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y008.html
have a seat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y009.html
________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
cell phone ettique
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9541.html
garage door opener
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9542.html
Scottish colonoscopy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9543.html
theft
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9540.html
new from Ford
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9544.html
doggie depression
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9545.html
______________
POWER POINT DISPLAYS
hands
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd050.html
moments of reason
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd051.html
best images
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd052.html
A curious little boy asks his mom what his younger
sister has between the legs; the young mother does
not know how to explain to the boy, so she says:
"It's like the Garage..."
The boy then asks: "What is mine called?"
"It's called the Car..." the mother replies.
A few days later, the phone rings while the parents
are "busy" in the bedroom; the little boy answers it.
It's his dad's friend: "Is your father home?
Could I speak to him?" "Yes, but he's busy", the boy replies.
"What's he doing? I wanna talk to him..." "Wait,
let me check..." The boy looks through the bedroom
keyhole; then comes back and says: "He's putting the
Car in the Garage "Ok, I'll call back..." A short
while later, the man calls back: "Can I talk to your
dad now?" "He's still busy...""What? What's he doing?
How long does it take him to put the car in the garage anyway?"
"Wait, let me check..." The boy, again, looks through the
bedroom keyhole, comes back and has this to tell his dad's
friend: "He's still trying to put the Car in the Garage;
he keeps moving the Car back and forth. He seems to have
problem putting the rear wheels of the Car into the Garage..."
______________
A blonde went to the market one day to buy penny candy for
her kids. She selected an assortment of hard candy and
one of taffies and asked the storekeeper, "How much is it?"
"14 cents," answered the storekeeper, after quickly
counting up the pieces."14 cents! For what?" asked the blonde.
The storekeeper explained, "The 7 pieces of hard candy cost
7 cents, while the 14 taffies, which are on special,
'Buy one, Get one Free' are another 7 cents. So together
it comes to 14 cents.""I know different!" replied the blonde,
indignantly. "7 + 7 is 11.""What!?" said the storekeeper.
"7 + 7 is 11!" replied the blonde emphatically. "I had 4
children by my first husband, before he died. Then I married
a second time, and my second husband also had 4 children,
from his first wife. Then, after we were married, we had
3 children together. So...each of us had 7 children, and
together we had 11. So, obviously, 7 + 7 is 11."
___________
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to
replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor
suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds,
so the community could become used to a new doctor.
At the first house a woman complains, 'I've been a little
sick to my stomach.'The older doctor says, 'Well, you've
probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back
on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?'
As they left, the younger man said, 'You didn't even
examine that woman? How'd you come to the diagnosis so
quickly?''I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my
stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick
it up, I noticed a half-dozen banana peels in the trash.
That was what probably was making her sick.'
'Huh,' the younger doctor said 'Pretty clever, I think
I'll try that at the next house.'
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes
talking with a younger woman. She complained that she just
didn't have the energy she once did and said, 'I'm feeling
terribly run down lately.'
'You've probably been doing too much work for the Church,'
the younger doctor told her.
'Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.'
As they left, the elder doctor said, 'I know that woman well,
your diagnosis is almost certainly correct,
but how did you arrive at it?'
'I did what you did at the last house, I dropped my
stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it,
I noticed the preacher under the bed.'
_____________
"I''m sorry to have to tell you this, Mr. Jones, but
apparently your child was born with no arms, only one leg,
and teeth that project six inches out of its mouth."Mr.
Jones cries, "My God! What will we do with such a deformed
baby?"The doctor says, "Use it as a rake?"',
___________
BUFFALO BILL
Men's Locker room
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010907.htm
Magic Finger Find The G Spot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010908.htm
My new Philosophy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/010909.htm
________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Marriage
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000939.html
Marriage Proposal
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000940.html
Marry Me
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000941.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
have a nice day
from:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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