THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
If you live south of the Mason Dixon line, in
the last 24 hours, you probably had warm,
balmy weather. However, around here in
beautiful west Michigan? It was COLD last night.
Woke up at around
3 am to discover that the freeking furnace had
kicked in. !!! Good grief. Not to mention the fact
that it had positively rained ALL day yesterday.
I must confess, I had a few choice syllables to
say. I got up and found another blanket and then
snuggled a little closer to the war department.
You have to chuckle about life. In all the years
we have owned this old house, we have never had
heat upstairs. And we have had this place about
as long as we have been married. And I learned one
thing...no matter how ticked you are at each other,
you are never too mad at each other to snuggle up
for warmth.:) That is a comforting thot to know that
whenever either one of us wants to "spoon" we have
a unspoken agreement that you "don't have to ask for
the other person's permission."
(One of life's simple pleasures:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
at the doctor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z030.html
I feel bad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z031.html
I'm a prick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z032.html
Millie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z033.html
mom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z034.html
happy s and bj
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z035.html
organ donor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z036.html
a chipped tooth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z037.html
listen
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z038.html
__________
Wiggle a little more, Miss Jones
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Love & Theft
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9599.html
Awesome Footage Of Lion Attacking Hyenas!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9600.html
Lady Fart at The Gym - Just for Laughs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9602.html
an amazing story
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9603.html
McDonalds FUNNY
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9604.html
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies9605.html6
A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street
When a little girl On her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'
'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'
The cop looked the bike over and handed
the girl a $5.00 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said, 'Give this to your Dad, and next year, tell Santa to put
a reflector light on the back of it!'
The young girl looked up at the cop and said,
'Nice horse you've got there, Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'
Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered,
'Yes, he sure did!'
The little girl looked up at the cop and said:
'Next year tell Santa;
The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top'!!!
_____________
Janet's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her
excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce.
Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the
best-dressed mother of the bride ever! A week later, Janet was
horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had
bought the exact same dress as her mother! Janet asked her
father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused.
"Absolutely not!I look like a million bucks in this dress,
and I'm wearing it,'' she replied..
Janet told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart..
I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.''
A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous
dress for her mother.
When they stopped for lunch, Janet asked her mother, ''Aren't you
going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion
where you could wear it..."
Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear. I'm
wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.''
_______________
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into
a bar in Dublin ... She raised her right arm, revealing a
huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting
at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a woman a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her.
But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed
his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the
ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink, and the
woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and
again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same
hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a
drink?" Once again, the same little drunk slapped his
money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another
drink!" The bartender approached the little drunk and said,
"Tell me, Paddy, it's your business if you want to buy
the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"
The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that
high has got to be a ballerina!"
_____________
To make it possible for everyone to attend church on Sunday,
we are proposing to have a special "No Excuse Sunday."
1. Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say,
"But, Sunday is my *only* day to sleep in."
2. They will have steel helmets for those who say,
"The roof will cave in if I ever came to church."
3. Blankets will be furnished for those who say it
is too cold and fans will be furnished for those who say it is too hot.
4.There will be hearing aids for those who say,
"The pastor speaks too softly," and cotton for those who say,
"He preaches too loudly."
5. Scorecards will be available for those who wish
to list the hypocrites present.
6. Some relatives will be in attendance for those who
like to go visiting on Sunday.
7. There will be TV dinners for those who can't go
to church and cook dinner too.
8. Golf clubs will be available for practice swings for
those who like to golf on Sunday.
______________
A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two plastic
Garbage bags with her one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the
Bags and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the
Pavement. Noticing this a policeman stops her"Ma'am there are $20
Bills falling out of that bag..."
"Damn!" says the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can
Still find some. Thanks for the warning!"
"Well now not so fast" says the cop. "How did you get all that money?
Did you steal it?"
"Oh no"says the little old lady. "You see my back yard backs up to
The parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game a lot
Of fans come and pee in the bushes right into my flower beds! SoI go
And stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper and each time
Someone sticks his little thing through the bushesI say: $20 or off
It comes!" "Hey not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OKgood luck!
By the way what's in the other bag?"
"Well"says the little old lady"not all of them pay up....!!"
____________
A princess is walking along a pond in the royal gardens when
she looks down and sees a really ugly frog. Picking the frog up,
she comments on the creature's rather hideous appearance.
Princess: "My, but you are really an ugly frog!"
Frog: "I know, I know, I got a really bad spell on me."
Princess: "Well I've seen frogs with spells but, none as ugly as you."
Frog: "Look, leave me alone my dear. I told you, it's a really bad spell."
Princess: "Well even so, if I kiss you will you turn into a prince?"
Frog: "I don't know dear, a spell this bad will probably take a blow job."
__________
BUFFALO BILL
I love my car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83108.htm
I feel good
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83109.htm
If I was a terrorist
http://www.buffaloschips.com/83110.htm
_____________
SydesJokes Video Clips
Model Airplane
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000969.html
Model B29
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000970.html
Modern Bosses
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000971.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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