THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
You either get busy livin or you
get busy dyin
Patrick Swayze
ORDER JUPITER JACK NOW!
TURN YOUR CAR RADIO INTO A HANDS FREE HEADSET!
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
You know, I find those stupid signs that adt and
all the other alarm companies give you are just that.
stupid. I found one I like better. gonna hang this
one out front of my house instead.
I live next door to two very attractive Lesbians.
They gave me a Rolex for my birthday.
Whilst it was a very nice gift, I think they misunderstood
me when I said I wanna watch.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
a wonderful view
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t010.html
I guarantee this model
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t011.html
I'm sorry honey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t012.html
skills
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t013.html
fight constipation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t014.html
jewelry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t015.html
no respect
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t016.html
gay marriage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t017.html
redneck word of the day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/t018.html
_______________
Win lunch for a year or take the cash!
($1,500 value)
http://tinyurl.com/qjwt5x
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
waffly wedded wife
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8008.html
on the beach
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8011.html
monkey's helping hand
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8012.html
the duck and the dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8013.html
Guadelupe airport
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8014.html
war clips
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8009.html
m1 abrams tanks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8010.html
The ship sank.
He was the lone survivor.
He swam towards a distant beach.
When he arrived there, he crawled up on the shore
to rest and count his blessings;
that's when he saw the first one, a pecan pie.
He then saw a banana split, a cup of vanilla gelatin,
chocolate chip cookies, caramel apples and yellow cake.
Suddenly he realized he was on a desserted island.
_______________
Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one
afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee.
The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked,
'Is that Jesus sitting over there?' The waitress
nodded 'yes,' so the Republican requested that she
give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with a
hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully
sat down and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea.
He also glanced across the restaurant and asked,
Is that Jesus over there?' The waitress nodded,
so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a
cup of hot tea, 'My treat.'
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a
Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth,
sat down and hollered, 'Hey there, honey! How's about
getting' me a cold glass of Miller Light?' He, too,
looked across the restaurant and asked, 'Is that God's
boy over there?' The waitress once more nodded, so the
Democrat directed her to give Jesus a glass of wine.
'On my bill,' he said.
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican,
touched him and said,'For your kindness, you are healed.'
The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs,
got up and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said,
'For your kindness ,you are healed.' The Libertarian felt
his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised
the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.
Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped
up and yelled, 'Don't touch me ... I'm collecting disability.'
_____________
researcher is doing a study on the sexual habits of trailer park
denizens in Alabama. He finds one family with 12 kids, and decides to
ask the mother some questions.
"Ma'am," he asks, "Don't take this the wrong way, but do you know
anything about contraceptives?"
"What the hell're yu a talkin' bout?" is her dumbfounded reply.
"Okay, well, for instance... what do you and your husband use when
you're having sex? Do you use condoms? A diaphragm? IUD?"
"Nah," she replies. "We get along fine just a usin' my ol'man's dick!"
_______________
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them
decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and
Hurt ourselves.
_________________
The greatest lovers from England, America, and
France were in a contest to determine who was the
world's greatest lover.First question was to the
Englishman: "If you are on a first date with a woman
and you want to kiss her, where do you kiss her?"
Englishman: "On her lips."
Judge: "That's right."
Second question was to the American: "If you are on a
second date with a woman and you want to kiss her,
where do you kiss her?"
American: "On her breasts."
Judge: "That's right."
Third question was to the Frenchman: "If you are on
the third date with a woman and you want to kiss her,
where do you kiss her?"
Frenchman: "Don't ask me, I missed the first two questions."
_______________
Vito and Juliana were having their usual battle of the
sexes. "Italian men are all stupid animals," screamed
Juliana.
"Oh, yeah?" yelled her husband. "I'll have you know it
was an Italian man who invented the toilet seat, you
stupid Guinea bitch!"
"And I'll have you know, you dumb Calabrase" said his
wife, "it was an Italian woman who thought to put a hole
in it!"
________________
Three turtles, Joe, Bill, and Raymond, decide to go on a
picnic. So Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies,
bottled sodas, and sandwiches. The trouble is, the
picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles take
10 whole days to get there. By the time they do arrive,
everyone's exhausted. Joe takes the stuff out of the
basket, one by one. He takes out the sodas and says,
"Alright, Bill, gimme the bottle opener."
"I didn't bring the bottle opener," Bill says,
"I thought you packed it." Joe gets worried. He turns
to Raymond. "Do you have the bottle opener?" Naturally,
Raymond doesn't have it, so the turtles are stuck ten
miles away from home without soda. Joe & Bill beg
Raymond to go back home and retrieve it, but Raymond
flatly refuses, knowing that they'll eat everything
by the time he gets back. After about two hours, the
turtles manage to convince Raymond to go, swearing on
their great grand-turtles' graves that they won't
touch the food. So, Raymond sets off down the road,
slow and steadily. Twenty days pass, but no Raymond.
Joe and Bill are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is
a promise. Another day passes, and still no Raymond,
but a promise is a promise. After three more days pass
without Raymond in sight, Bill starts getting restless.
"I NEED FOOD!" he says with a hint of dementia in his voice.
"NO!" Joe retorts, "We promised."
Five more days pass. Joe realizes that Raymond probably
skipped out to the diner down the road, so the two turtles
weakly lift the lid, get a sandwich, and open their mouths to eat.
But then, right at that instant, Raymond pops out from
behind a rock, and says, "I knew it!, I'm not going!"
_______________
BUFFALO BILL
Nipple Bitten Off
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfas.htm
Camel Toe Video
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdfa.htm
Hand Up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/zsasd.htm
Mini Gun Highlights
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ewwew.htm
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Brains
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000204.html
Brave Kitten
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000205.html
Brazilian Toyota Commercial
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000206.html
__________________
FUN PAGES FROM LORRAINE
Nanny Mania 2
http://tinyurl.com/opcd6w
You Stoopid Here's Why
http://tinyurl.com/qx4e29
One Man Army
http://tinyurl.com/dj6h79
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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