THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
To give our time and self for the
good of others is more important
than giving material things in life.
~Adney Y. Komatsu
AS SEEN ON TV
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Police were called to C**** High school on
Wednesday afternoon to investigate the report of a
weapon seen in the school's parking lot. It's the third
time in nine days they were called to the school
because of concern over a potential gun.
The reported gun might have been a toy, he said,
but emphasized that even if it was a squirt gun, the
student who brought it would face at least a 180-day
suspension. Expulsion is not out of the question.
While our public school system has its problems here in
West Michigan, we seem to have far less than many
in the bigger cities. Guns in school, until this year, were
almost unheard of. So now the school systems here are
scrambling to setup metal detectors, more guards, and etc.
I remember when I went to school. Squirt guns were a big
thing as the days got hotter toward the end of the school
year. Usually we students liked to gang up on some unsuspecting
teacher and spray them. all in good natured fun.
I guess you can't do that anymore.
Its a pretty sad thing to think that you could send
your child to get an education and he can't play with a
child's toy because of the ramifications it would have.
Even sadder to think that you could send them to school
and they could lose their life.
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
According to a new survey, 76 percent of men said what
they look for most in a woman is a sense of humor and a
good personality...
This was a survey published in "Full Of Shit Magazine."
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
2 timer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u040.html
its time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u041.html
there are times
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u042.html
a five dollar raise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u043.html
flowers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u044.html
Miranda
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u045.html
why is it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u046.html
beware
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u047.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the baby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8064.html
2 hands better than one
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8065.html
In Spain
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8066.html
cool water
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8067.html
extreme
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8068.html
the Mini
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8069.html
stressed?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8070.html
_____________
Pauly says to Maury, his coworker, "I've become so near-
sighted I almost worked myself to death."
Maury: "What does being nearsighted have to do with
working yourself to death?"
Pauly: "I couldn't tell whether the boss was watching
me or not, so I had to work all the time."
__________
Golf lingo
Things You Shouldn't say off the Golf Course
10. Nuts... my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I we make it a threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.
____________
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the
pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked
straight into his eyes, and said, 'I would like
to buy some cyanide.' The pharmacist asked,
'Why in the world do you need cyanide?'
The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.'
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed,
'Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to
kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll
lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail!
All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not!
You CANNOT have any cyanide!'
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a
picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,
'Well now, that's different.....
You didn't tell me you had a prescription.'
______________
An insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive
when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep, downhill grade.
"I can't stop!" she shrilled. "What should I do?"
"Brace yourself," advised her husband, "and try to hit something cheap."
___________
These two lesbians walked into a bar One extremely
pretty and one extremely ugly. The pretty one said
to the ugly one, "I'll go get us a drink".
So she walked up to the bar and said to the
bar-tender "Two Jim beams and coke"
The bartender got the drinks and said, "That's $10."
She said, "I don't have any money."
The bartender said, "Well how are you going to pay for them?"
She replied, "I'll show you my tits."
He looked at her and replied, "O.K."
So she showed him her tits, then took the drinks back to the table.
The ugly one said, "How did you pay for those?"
The pretty one said, "I showed him my tits and
he gave them to me for free!"
The ugly one said, "I try that." So she walked up to
the bartender and said, "Two Jim beams and coke please".
The bartender said, "That will be $10 please."
The ugly one turned around and said, "I don't have any money!"
The bartender said, "Well how are you going to pay for them?"
She replied, "I will show you my tits"
He replied back, "You're ugly so your tits will be ugly!"
So the ugly one said, "O.K. then I will let you smell my friends pussy!"
The bartender replied, "What that one over there?"
(pointing to the good looking one) She said "Yeah."
The bartender said, "Sure!"
So the ugly one leaned over the bar and breathed in his face.
_______________________
One summer evening a young son came in while his
parents were setting the table for supper.
Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help.
His mother said, "No, but I appreciate you asking."
The boy responded, "Well, I appreciate you saying no."
_______________
BUFFALO BILL
2 Roosters
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfes.htm
36 Hour Cialis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfsde.htm
3 Condoms Please
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fdsfse.htm
5
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfg.htm
_______________
FUN PAGES from Lorrain
The Handy Man
http://tinyurl.com/d62sb3
Warlords Fighting Game
http://tinyurl.com/cd8ulm
Babies Rollerskating
http://tinyurl.com/lrgrbo
________________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Butterball Turkey
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000277.html
Butterfinger
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000278.html
Buy A Turkey You Can Handle
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000279.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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