THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
You are not paid to work hard.
In fact, you are not paid for effort at all.
You are paid for results.
It's not what you do;
it's what you get done.
Larry Winget
FREE LUNCH FROM MCDONALDS
http://tinyurl.com/qjwt5x
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
ASSOIATED PRESS-New York New York.
(Released 20 minutes ago)
In a press conference 20 minutes ago,
spokesmen for Summers Eve announced plans
for a new douche made of marijuana,
deodorant and Kentucky fried chicken.
Now a woman can stay high, dry,
and finger lickin good!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
cat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u030.html
bug be gone
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u031.html
caffein addict
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u032.html
a perfect date
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u033.html
why fumble
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u034.html
I hate to say this but...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u035.html
****ing for dummies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u036.html
can't understand it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u037.html
in this corner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u038.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
ouch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8060.html
hands free
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8061.html
go Stealers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8062.html
what a commercial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8063.html
____________
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced
that they were going to try something different to
help everyone get to know each other a little better,
and to help with their spelling. She explained,
"I want you to stand up and give us the occupation
of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would
give us all if he was here today." The first student
raised her hand to volunteer. "Marcy," the teacher
said. "You may go first." Marcy replied,
"My father is a banker.B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was
here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny."
The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?"
Kevin stood up and announced, "My father is a baker.
B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us
all a freshly-baked cookie." "Very good," the teacher
told Kevin. Jeff was next, and he said, "My father
is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no..." Before
he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher
cut him off and told him to sit back down and to
think about it for a while. When he thought he knew
how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again.
Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to
be acknowledged by the teacher. The teacher called on
little Johnny to go next. Johnny said, "My father is a bookie.
B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us
all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell "accountant."
______________
A young blonde woman goes to an office for a job interview.
The interviewer decides to start with the basics: "So, miss,
can you tell us your age, please?"
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about
three seconds before replying: "23!"
The interviewer tries another straight forward question
to break the ice: "And can you tell us your height, please?"
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape
from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot
and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks
the measurement and announces: "Five foot three!"
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for a
very basic question. "And just to confirm for our
records, your name please?" he asks. The blonde bobs
her head from side to side for about 20 seconds,
mouthing something silently to herself, before
replying: "Stephanie." The interviewer is completely
baffled at this stage, so he says: "I can understand
counting on your fingers to work out your age, and
the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but
what were you doing when we asked you your name?"
"Ohhh that!" replies the blonde: "That's just me
running through 'Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you...'"
_________________
Passenger to flight attendant: "I noticed that the 'Fasten Seat Belt'
sign was kept lit during the entire flight even though the flight
itself was particularly smooth."
"Well ... up front there are 17 women going back to college after
spring break. In the back, there are 25 Navy enlistees. What would
you do?"
__________________
Little Johnny and his dad were on an overcrowded elevator. Suddenly a
lady in the front turned around, slapped Little Johnny's dad, and
then left in a huff.
"That sure is a nasty lady," Little Johnny's dad said.
Little Johnny remarked, "I didn't like her either, Daddy. She stepped
on my toe ... so I pinched her ass."
_______________
Well it all started when a very rich man found a very young and dirty
poor girl on the street on a snowy night. He asked her if she would
like a place to stay since he heard that the blizzard would last for
a few days. She took him up and his offer and went home with him.
When they both arrived the man told her "I'm allowing you to sleep in
any room on the west wing.
Just stay away from the east wing, because that's where my son's room
is, and i don't want you near him."
She agreed and picked her room.
That night the man woke up to an unfamiliar noise. He rushed into his
son's room and found the girl screwing him. The man was furious. He
gave her another chance though and escorted her back to her room,
again he warned her. The next night, he awoke again and found the
same thing. He would have thrown her out, but It was still snowing
and so he escorted her back to her room and warned her for the last
time. The next night before he went to bed he went to his son's room and
poured green glitter in his sons pants. That night he heard some
noise, but figured he would catch her in the morning. The next
morning he woke up and rushed into her room.
He demanded she pull down her pants.
She did willingly and he found nothing.
He apologized and said he must of been hearing things.
After breakfast the young girl thanks the man for his hospitality and
walked out of the house with a green tongue.
_________________
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said,
'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!
Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!
TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to
get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be
CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn
them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget
to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt.
USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'
The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You
think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'
The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels
like when I'm driving.'
__________
BUFFALO BILL
Swan
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdkjhsk.htm
Texas Shoot Out
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdksk.htm
Things Men Will Do For A Cold Beer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dssjssd.htm
What It Feels Like Owning Stock In 2008
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhkjhk.htm
__________________
FUN PAGES FROM LORRAINE
Warlords Heroes
http://tinyurl.com/b7os84
Wild Tribe
http://tinyurl.com/p9pcsd
Armed Invasion Game
http://tinyurl.com/btoa68
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment