Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
buffalo says Rebecca has been a friend for a long time and
we do like to help people out on these contests. I really enjoyed
the photo that was chosen for this contest and I hope you like
it too.
Hi Bill,
I remember a few years ago you helped my boyfriend become a finalist
in a basement makeover (he was a US Navy guy). You had your group
help vote for him. Anyway, I have another request similar, except
that it is for a 17 year old student who is just starting college
this fall. She needs a new saxophone and hopes to be able to win
this photo contest to afford one.
http://buffaloschip
If you are able to, I would love your readers to vote for her, and
write a comment/review. The scoring isn't based just on number of
votes. It is also based on the viral marketing aspects of it (how
many people email to their friends, post on facebook or other social
networking sites, etc) and then number of reviews received.
They can vote every day and they also do not need any registration.
It would help make a difference in a young girl's life.
Thank you SO much. Hope you are doing well and I love reading my
chips every day!
Rebecca
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Chief Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old retired navy chiefs were traveling across country to attend
a
Navy Reunion and they pull up to a gas station.
Attendant: "How may I help you?"
Old Chief: "Please fill it up."
The other Old Chief: "What did he say?"
Old Chief [yelling]: "He was asked what we wanted and I told him to
fill it up."
Attendant: "So, where are you heading?"
Old Chief: "To Las Vegas to attend a Navy Reunion."
The other Old Chief: "What did he say?"
Old Chief [yelling]: "He asked where we're going? I told him we're
going to a Navy Reunion."
Attendant: "It sure is a nice day for a drive."
Old Chief: "Yes, it's been quite pleasant."
The other Old Chief:: "What did he say?"
Old Chief [yelling: "He said it's good weather."
Attendant: "Where are you coming from?"
Old Chief: "We started our trip from Bandera Texas."
Again the other Old Chief: "What did he say?"
Old Chief {yelling}: "He asked where we're from and I said Texas."
Attendant: "I spent two years in the Navy. The Chief that I worked
for
was a complete 'ass hole.' He sure screwed me over so I didn't make
the
Navy a career."
Again the other Old Chief: "What did he say?"
Old Chief [yelling}: "He says he thinks he knows you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
is it working?
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Obama
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asshole
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Courtesy Of Southwest Airlines
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Cows Revenge
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CPS
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dating Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Dictionary of Dating
ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular
person.
LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what occurs when two extremely horny,but not
entirely choosy people meet.
DATING - the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time,
and
energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't
especially
like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL - avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as
swallowing
special pills, inserting a diaphragm,using a condom, and dating
repulsive men or spending time around children.
EASY - a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of
a
man.
PRIG - a term used to describe a woman who wants to stay virgin
until
married.
EYE CONTACT - a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to
a
man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so,
many
woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not
necessarily due to the shyness,but usually due to the fact that a
woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND - a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has
some
flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE - a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted
by
the man as "playing hard to get."
INTERESTING - a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do
all
the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT - what the endearing little qualities that
initially
attract two people to each other turn into after a few months
together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY - how attractive a given person appears to be is
directly proportional to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more
often
than he does.
FRIGID - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex less often
than
he does, or who requires more foreplay than lifting her nightgown.
SOBER - condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
NAG - a man's term for a woman who wants more to her life with him
than
just intercourse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Medical Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A medical student just finished her last semester and was heading
out to
apply to a hospital. The director of the hospital thought the woman
was
very bright and had a lot of potential. But the doctor wanted to ask
her
a few questions just to quiz her.
"Well." said the doctor, "you seem very qualified. But a few
questions
before we make anything definite, ok?" "Of course," said the
woman"Ok,
what do we call the operation of removing your tonsils?" asked the
director "That's easy," the woman said, "A Tonsillectomy.
"Very good. ok, What is the removal of your appendix called?"the
director continued. "I belive that is an Appendectomy,
said
confidentilly
"Good job. One more. What do we call a sex change operation?" the
director asked. Now the woman was very intelligent and she learned
every
medical term known to man, but for some reason she could not
remember
what a sex change operation was called. She sat staring ai the wall
for
some time before the director began to get anxious.
"Do you know?" he asked repeatidly.
Regaining her composure she finally smiled and said, "of
course,Addadictomy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Japanese Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Japanese businessmen are talking during their
afternoon dip in the hot baths at the Geisha house.
The first businessman says, "Hirokosan, I have
unpleasant news for you. Your wife is dishonoring
you. I saw her the other night and she was out with
another man."
Hirokosan can't believe what he hears, and asks for
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of the Jewish faith."
Shocked, Hirokosan goes home to confront his wife.
He faces her and says, "I am told that you are
dishonoring me with a foreigner of the Jewish faith".
She replies, "That's a lie! Where did you hear such mishugunah?!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Expense Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
EXPENSE STATEMENT
10/4 Ad for female stenographer 1.00
10/4 Violets for new stenographer 1.50
10/6 Week's salary for flow stenographer 45.00
10,9 Roses for stenographer 5.00
10/IC Candy for wife .90
10/13 Lunch for stenographer 7.00
10/15 Week's salary for stenographer 60.00
'10/16 Movie tickets for wife and self 1.20
10/18 Theatre tickets for steno and self 16.00
10/19 Ice cream sundae for wife .30
10/22 Natalie's salary 75.00
10/23 Champagne and dinner for Natalie end self 32.50
10/25 Doctor for stupid stenographer 375.00
10/26 Mink Stole for wife 14700.00
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hummer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Texas Redneck was driving his old pick up truck down the road with
his girlfriend at his side when all of a sudden the truck started to
buck and stall. With that, he said to his girlfriend that he had to
get a new truck. He walked down the block and found a GMC
dealership. Once inside a sales lady approaches him and says, "Sir,
may I help you".
He looks at a hummer and says to the saleslady, "How much for a
hummer?"
She replies, well they start at $49,000 and go up from there.
He says, "$49,000. That's a lot of money, I can get one a lot
cheaper!"
The saleslady assures him that she has the lowest prices in the
state of Texas. Then she says, "Sir if you can get a hummer cheaper
than what I will give it to you for, I will give you the key to this
truck right now."
With that, the Redneck walks out, gets his girlfriend, brings her
into the dealership and says, "Honey, will you give me a hummer for
$50.00.
She says, "Hell yes."
He turns to the saleslady and asks, "Where do I pick up my keys to
that new truck?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/One Last Look
http://silverandgol
Tribute to Henry Gibson
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Back Home
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carolyn w/ Scars In The Hands
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Holiday Smileys
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Pumpkins
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Autumn Leaves
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Movies
Saddam The Unseen Video
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Santa Shopping
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Saudi
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Schweaty Balls
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Scotsman's Song
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If my nose was running money
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Important Message
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Impossible
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Jet Engine
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John McCain
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Priest Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A priest and a guy called John are great friends. They often play
golf
together. The priest is good at putting and awful at driving, and
John
is good at driving, but useless putting. It's a fine summers day,
and
the two men decide to go for a game of golf. The game starts as
usual;
the priest hits his ball into a river, and John gets his on the
green.
After three attempts to get the ball on the green, not in the river,
the
priest succeeds. It lands on the green. They both get into the golf
buggy and make their way to the 1st hole. Both men were in a good
position to put.
John goes first. He misses the hole by meters! "Goddammit! How could
I
have missed that!" He shouts with great anger.
"Please, don't swear. To blaspheme is a great sin." says the priest.
John takes his friend's advice.
They are on the second green, again both with good opportunities to
put.John misses an easy put.
"Goddammit! How could I have missed that!" He shouts louder the
first
time forgetting his friend's advice.
"Please! You must not sin. You are a great friend of mine and I
don't
want to see you punished by God. He will throw don't a bolt of
lightening onto you if you blaspheme again!"
Well, thought John. Don't mess with the best because usually the
best
don't mess!
After a fairly good third hole put, John and the priest are on the
fourth green. The priest goes first to put and puts it first time.
John
then takes his go. Again, he misses. "Goddammit! How could I have
missed
that!" A deafening sound comes from the sky and a bright light
lights
the sky up.
"I did warn you," says the priest.
A bolt of lightening comes from the sky and hits the priest on the
head
striking him dead.
There is a low rumble from the heavens and a huge voice from the
clouds
bellows "Goddammit! How could I have missed that!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
bad cat
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cat batteries
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cat carrier
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cat doggy style
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cat enlarger
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Ho Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Because of the recent incidence with Don Imus, Al Sharpton and
others are insisting that changes take place in our country.
Santa Claus will be banned as he utters the clearly racist and
misogynistic exclamation, "Ho, ho, ho!"
Pirate movies will be censored if they contain the phrase "Yo, ho,
ho."
All references to the Seven Dwarfs will be punishable due to the
song "High-ho!" which is offensive to sex workers of enhanced
stature.
Any mention of farmers will cease due to their use of hoes, a
racist, sexist farm implement.
The Lone Ranger will be eliminated from popular culture because he
uses the patently offensive phrase, "Hi Ho Silver"
All "Ho-downs" will be terminated as a racist affront to
non-Southern White Christians.
All travel to Ho Chi Minh City will be banned.
The phrases "Heave-Ho," "Gung Ho," and "Tally Ho!" will be expunged
from the English language.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A nun was walking in the convent when one of the Fathers noticed she
was gaining a little weight.
"Gaining a little weight are we sister Susan?", he asked.
"Oh no, Father. Just a little gas." Sister Susan explained,
matter- of-factly.
A month or so later the Father noticed that she had gained even more
weight.
"Gaining some weight are we Sister Susan?", he asked again.
"Oh no, Father. Just a little gas." She replied again.
A couple of months later the Father noticed Sister Susan pushing a
baby
carraige around the convent. He leaned over and looked in the
carraige
and said, "Cute little fart."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents
did
for a living. One little girl said her father was a doctor, another
said her mother was an engineer. When it was Little Johnny's turn,
he
stood up and said, "My mom's a whore."
Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's
office.
Then, 15 minutes later, he returned. So the teacher asked "Did you
tell
the principal what you said in class?"
Johnny said, "Yes"
"Well, what did the principal say?"
"He said that every job is important in our economy, gave me an
apple
and asked for my phone number."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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