Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I have received a fair amount of traffic over the past week on
the President's plan to address the school children on Sept.
8th. Depending on what side of the political coin you are on,
you may view this as a chance for the President to impress the
importance of education on our children or the brainwashing of
our children. Some though are even recommending that you
keep your kids home on Sept. 8. I feel that after having the
children home for 3 months I wouldn't keep them home even if
the introduction was being given by Fidel Castro. We deserve
that 180 days away from our children each year and pay dearly
for it.
I don't mean to sound flippant about information that is given to
our
children but looking back on previous programs aimed at our children
from Kennedy's School Physical Fitness Program to Reagan's Just Say
No to Drugs this stuff just goes in one ear and out the other unless
as
parents we reinforce it while they aren't in school and then we
still don't
have a lot of success.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Spider Chips
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This big dude walks into a bar with a little spider on his shoulder,
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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She said "I'm going to the doctor
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This old man in his nineties got up and was putting on his coat. His
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny came home from his hot date and sat down to talk with
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sighed.
'What makes you think that it is true love?' asks his dad.
'Well," says Little Johnny, 'Suzy started out giving me the best
blow job I've ever had.'
'Nah,' replied his dad, 'that's not true love, it is just lust.'
The next night Little Johnny came in after his date, and sat down
again to talk with his dad. 'For sure it is true love, dad.' he
said.
'What makes you think that it is true love this time?' asks his dad.
'Well," says Little Johnny, 'Tonight Suzy gave me the best blow job
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'If what Suzy and I have is just infatuation, then what is true
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her up the ass first, then give you the best blow job of your life!'
Susan
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display.
The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache.
Below the picture is titled... "Got Milk".
The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white
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Judge: Please identify yourself for the record.
Defendant: Commander Ebenezer Jackson.
Judge: What does the "Commander" stand for?
Defendant: Well, it's kinda like the "Honorable" in front of your
name,
not a damn thing
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Necrophilia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.
My friend Felix is still out there job hunting. He says he always
has
a problem when filling out the job application and gets to the part
about 'Sex: F or M.' He says he never knows which to choose -- He
says
he really likes to Fuck, but he spends most of the time alone
Masterbating.
Intercourse doesn't happen on a highway.
Last June, my friend told me about her plans for our upcoming prom.
"I'm renting a stretch limo and spending $1,000 on a new dress, and
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If she says she's into "bondage," don't show her your financial
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I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive
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computers, and even have their own ISPs, separate e-mail addresses
and
Home Pages. Each has their own fuck-buddy, They say they're doing
everything they can to keep their marriage together.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Monkey Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they
rammed a cork up an elephant's backside and force fed it for 2
weeks.
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was hard to comprehend they decided to have a go.
A week after the experiment had started they began to realize WHY
the idea had never been tried, they were stuck for someone to pull
the cork out.
One of the scientists came up with the bright idea of training a
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pull out corks once a buzzer had rung, then push it back in for
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The first scientist went 1 mile away, the second went 2 miles away
and the third went 3 miles. When they were all ready the first
scientist pushed the button to sound the buzzer.
BBBAAANNNGGG!
The third scientist (3 miles away) was up to his ankles in shit, the
second (2 miles away) was up to his knees and the first (1 mile
away) was up to his waist. When the others joined the scientist who
was 1 mile away they noticed that he was in fits of laughter.
"What the %$*& is so funny?" asked one of the scientist.
You should have seen that monkey trying to put that cork back in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary: Well, I've never known anyone so forward! This perfect
stranger just walked up to me at the party and asked, "How would you
like some mind-blowing, earth-shaking, window-shattering sex?"
Jill: I can't believe it!
Mary: Neither could I! When I told him, "No, thanks!" he just added,
"Well, would you mind lying down so that I could have some?"
~~
Mike picked up an attractive woman, named Linda,
who flagged down his car in a seedy part of town.
As they rode, he asked her what she did for
a living.
Linda winked at Mike and said, "I'm a magician."
"No way," Mike scoffed. 'Prove it."
So Linda touched him on the thigh, and "Poof"
Mike turned into a hotel.
~~
A drunk stumbles out of a bar and he needs to piss, so he makes his
way into the cemetery behind the tavern. He walks right to the edge
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There's a puddle of water in the hole, and he spends the rest of the
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dirt off yourself!"
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Toon Chips
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Charming Black Man
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
there once was a fellow named clyde
but his girth was so far from wide
when he expelled a gas
he fell through his ass
hanging there till he strangled and died
There once was a vicar from Kew,
Who preached with his vestments askew,
A woman named Morgan,
Caught sight of his organ,
And promptly passed out in her pew
There once was a man from Goshum
who took off his balls to wash 'em
His wife said Jack
if you don't put 'em back
I'll put 'em in the wringer and squash'em.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fifty Ways To Love Your Beaver
(sung to the tune of "Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover.")
I was a virgin not much older than 16
I was as horny as a young girl's ever been
My friend said, "Please yourself ... it's safe and not obscene!"
There must be fifty ways to love your beaver.
Fifty ways to love your beaver.
Just finger the pie, Di
Diddle the clam, Pam
Why not masturbate, Kate
And listen to me
Touch yourself THERE, Claire
You'll feel better everywhere!
Go stroke where you pee, Lee
And set yourself FREE!
She said "You know it hurts me so to see you in such need.
But you know now you don't have to deal with men and messy seed." I
said "I appreciate that ... and I'll follow your lead and use the
fifty ways."
She said, "Why don't you just take home this vibrator tonight And I
believe that when you try it you'll begin to see the light." And
when I felt it buzz, I realized she probably was right! There must
be fifty ways to love your beaver. Fifty ways to love your beaver.
Just finger the pie, Di
Diddle the clam, Pam
Why not masturbate, Kate
And listen to me
Touch yourself THERE, Claire
You'll feel better everywhere!
Go stroke where you pee, Lee
And set yourself FREE!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny was going through his grandmother'
She
explained to him some of the stories behind the objects he found.
When
she showed him the pin she got from nursing school, he gave her a
curious look. "Nursing school?" he asked. "You had to go to school
to
learn how to breast feed?"
"Boys just like one thing," my ten-year-old told a friend. Oh, no,
the
end of her innocence, I thought. Then she announced her finding:
"PlayStations.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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