THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Democracy is the road to socialism.
Karl Marx
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
So, you all ready with big plans for a long
holiday weekend? The war department
will be spending the day digging
in the dirt with the new flowers she bought
yesterday. I shall attempt to put as many
miles on the Iron horse as possible,
knowing that the wise thing is to be as far
away as possible. The weather man says it will
be ideal, with temps in the mid 70s.That is
a good thing for Michigan. Tourism, the second
largest industry behind manufacturing, has
been hurt hard this year by cooler than average
temperatures and the recession.
We need a break in this state, that's for sure.
The war department and me don't have any great
plans, since this is her weekend to work anyway.
I hope all the merchants
have a good weekend cashing in to make up for a
not so great summer.
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
A new study has determined that chocolate
causes a defect in American clothing.
The national organization of women has
filed a lawsuit in the supreme court,
The suit would require chocolate manufacturers
to carry a warning label advising consumers
of the problem. It seems
that chocolate causes most fabrics to shrink.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
interesting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r050.html
the best
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r051.html
endangered
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r052.html
with a b
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r053.html
how do they find the time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r054.html
I love my dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r055.html
what the heck
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r056.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
The Obama card
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7040.html
doggie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7041.html
pole dance
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7043.html
Robin Williams
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7044.html
motorcycle and the girlfriend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7045.html
Becky was lying on her death bed in the hospital
when her husband came to visit her. Becky said to her
husband, "you know Morris we have been married for
over fifty years and we never had oral sex. Before
I die I want you to try it on me.Morris agreed, and
pulled the curtain closed around the bed and
proceeded to lick her vagina. Morris visited his wife
the next day and found his wife sitting in a chair,
all made up and ready to go home.
The doctors told Morris that a miracle had happened
to his wife which was unexplainable.
Morris smirked and then went into a depression.
His wife said to Morris "what's wrong with you."
Morris replied, if I knew today what I learned
yesterday I could have saved my Mother, sister
and my aunt Sadie.
_______________
We all know that an optimistic would see half full
glass of water, while a pessimist would see a half
empty one. What would people of different professions
and walks of life say?
A Banker would say that the glass has just under 50%
of its net worth in liquid assets.
The Government would say that the glass is fuller than
if the opposition party were in power.
The Opposition party would say that it is irrelevant
because the present administration has changed the
way such volume statistics are collected.
The Economist would say that, in real terms, the
glass is 25% fuller than at the same time last year.
The Philosopher would say that, if the glass was in
the forest and no one was there to see it,
would it be half anything?
The Psychiatrist would ask,
"What did your mother say about the glass?"
The Physicist would say that the volume of this
cylinder is divided into two equal parts; one a colorless,
odorless liquid, the other a colorless, odorless gas.
Thus the cylinder is neither full nor empty. Rather,
each half of the cylinder is full, one with a gas, one with a liquid.
The Seasoned Drinker would say that the glass doesn't
have enough (or too much) ice in it.
_____________
Psalm 2009
FIRST BOOK OF GOVERNMENT ...
Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside still factories.
He restoreth my faith in the Republican Party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes.
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life, And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
I am still glad I'm an American.
I am glad that I am free.
But I often wish I were a dog...
And Obama was a tree.
________________
Dr. Jones completed his examination of the teenage girl
and took her mother aside. "I'm afraid," he said, "that
your daughter has syphilis." "Oh, my!" exclaimed the
embarrassed woman. "Tell me, could she possibly have
caught it in a public lavatory?"
After giving it a little thought, Dr. Jones responded,
"It's possible," then he added "but it would certainly
have been uncomfortable."
_______________
At his wedding reception, the young groom's granddad
congratulated his grandson and said: "The secret to
enjoying a long and happy marriage, is to listen to
each other at all times, respect each other's wishes
and to try and have sex in moderation. That way, your
marriage will last as long as your grandma's and mine
has." Thanking him for his advice, the grandson said:
"What's sex like then when you get older, granddad?"
His granddad looked at his grandson, smiled and said:
"Just like trying to play pool with a piece of rope!"
BUFFALO BILL
Only Want Sex
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Pool
http://www.buffaloschips.com/xdsddzsrd.htm
Sensitivity Training
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___________
SydesJokes LIST
Birthday Surprise
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000170.html
Birthday Wish
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000171.html
Blaupunkt Advert
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000172.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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