THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"Action will remove the doubts
that theory cannot solve."
~Tehyi Hsieh
HANDS FREE HEADSET
Talk and drive at the same time!
Safely legally
Satisfaction guaranteed!
Plug it in to any phone!
tune your radio to 99.3
ITS SIMPLE
http://tinyurl.com/kumnmk
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
I am just a little ticked this morning
Had everthin done on a rough draft and
I was just about ready to upload this
morning's issue and mail it out.Then
the computer crashed. Of course, I
hadn't saved the file, and guess what?
Yeah I am a little frustrated this morning
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
progress of time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v010.html
why go fishing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v011.html
beam me up scotty
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v012.html
bbq
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v013.html
you're drunk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v014.html
communicating
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v015.html
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v016.html
log time no see
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v017.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
shy fat boy
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8100.html
silly babies
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8101.html
trick on gfriend
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8102.html
Swedish lesson
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8103.html
lets go fishin
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8104.html
jail break
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8105.html
acrobatics
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8106.html
baby bomber
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8107.html
Fracis Scott Key
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8108.html
George dies and goes to hell. He notices one sign that
says "Socialist Hell," and another that says "Capitalist
Hell." There's a long line waiting for socialist hell,
but no one waiting to get into capitalist hell. George
asks the guard, "What do they do to you in socialist hell?"
They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the
rack," replies the guard.
"And, what do they do to you in capitalist hell?", George
asks.
"Same thing," says the guard."
"So then," asks George, "why is everybody in line for
socialist hell?"
"Because in socialist hell," the guard explains, "they're
always out of oil, whips and racks."
_______________
After spending so much time working, Lee thought it would be nice
to bring his wife a little gift.
"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She
showed him a $50.00 bottle.
"That's a bit much," said Lee, so she returned with a smaller
bottle for $30.00.
"That's still quite a bit," Lee complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
"What I mean," said Lee, "is I'd like to see something really
cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.
____________
After watching sales falling off for three straight months at
Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope to ask for
a favor.The Pope says, "What can I do?"
The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from,
'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily
chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the
Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's Prayer and I
can not change the words."
So the Colonel hangs up. After another month of dismal sales, the
Colonel panics, and calls again.
"Listen your Excellency, I really need your help. I'll give you
$50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer
from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our
daily chicken.'"
And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The
church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help
us support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the
Lord's Prayer, and I can't change the words." So the Colonel
gives up again.
After two more months of terrible sales the Colonel gets
desperate.
"This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words
of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to
'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million
to the Vatican."
"Let me get back to you." Says the Pope.
So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and
he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The
good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the
Vatican." The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about
the bad news.
The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread
account."
_____________
Three elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park bench
discussing what the meanest animal in the world was.
The first said, "The meanest animal in the world is a
Hippopotamus, cause it's got such big jowls. One bite and your gone."
The second shook his head and said "Nah, hippo may be
mean, but ain't nothing meaner than an alligator. He
got a big mouth and all them teeth, snap, one bite,
ha, one swallow, you gone."The third gentleman sat
for a moment, and finally he spoke and said, " No sir,
the meanest animal in the world is a hippagator."
The other two in disbelief inquired as to what in the
world is a hippagator, believing there was no such animal.
The gentleman slowly began to explain, " A hippagator
got a hippo head on one end, and an 'gator head on the other".
"WAIT" interrupted the others, "If he has a head
on both ends, How does he shit?"
The reply was simply," He don't, that's what makes him so mean"!
_______________--
Things weren't going too well for the husband business-
wise and he got his wife an imitation tennis bracelet,
instead of the real one she wanted for their anniversary.
"I hope you understand sweetheart, but you can pretend it's real."
"Fine!" she said pouting, "And tonight in bed, you can pretend I'm there under you."
_______________
My two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance.
"I look like Mom," said my nine-year-old,
"but I have Dad's eyes and Dad's lips."
The six-year-old said, "And I look just like Dad but I have light hair."
Then she turned to me. "Mom," she asked, "what does Dad have
to do with us being born, anyway?"
Her older sister jumped right in: "Don't be stupid, Christina.
Dad is the one who drove Mom to the hospital."
Car Hits Tree
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000292.html
Car Parking
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000293.html
Careful Talking On Phone
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000294.html
__._,_.___
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