Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Today is Labor Day. Traditionally it is to recognize the success of
labor unions and the American worker in making life better for all
of us. We have been resting for thirty years on our laurels and in
my mind losing ground. Becoming an adult in the 1970's there were
so many paths open for me to take that guaranteed that some day
I could have everything that my ancestors did and then some. My
state was the home of the automobile and manufacturing jobs were
easy to come by. Anyone with average intelligence could earn a wage
that put you into the middle income bracket with a decent home, nice
car, education for our children, and above all a retirement check,
separate
from Soc. Sec. for life.
Somewhere along the line we have lost the American Dream. Greedy
corporations, labor unions, and the government made deals that sent
most of our manufacturing jobs to foreign countries and vilified the
American worker.
In stead of celebrating our past accomplishments, we need to spend
time insuring there is a bright future for the American worker. We
need to bring back manufacturing jobs and make a profit on them.
Once we have
secured our place as the greatest nation on earth, then we need to
guarantee that the quality of life will improve for future
generations
and we need to elect those who will do the job.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Catch the Really Big Fish!
Some have hailed the Banjo Minnow asThe most lifelike lure ever
created! Not only does it look and act like a real fish; it mimics
the spastic action of a wounded dying minnow. You'll be amazed at
how many more fish you'll catch with Banjo Minnow! Order yours today
only $19.95 (plus s/h)!
You'll get a complete 110 Piece fishing system:
- The #1 fishing lure featured on TV
- Lures look and swim just like real fish
- Fish bite even when they're not hungry
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pick-up Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'),
OK then, can we just practice?
Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without
mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?
I am a magical being, take off your bra.
I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels
NOW!
I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by
morning.
Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did
anyway.
My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these
condoms in my pocket before they expire.
Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've
broken
the ice, will you sleep with me?"
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on
the floor.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread
the word.
What can I do to make you sleep with me?
What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed,
subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply. Your face or
MINE!? Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at
my place, tail at yours. I'd like to get between your legs and eat
my
way straight to your heart...
Nice legs, lets eat out.
Hey! Wanna play war? (replies)WHAT? (you)Yea, I lay on the ground
and
you blow the fuck outta me!
Hi my name is(your name), did I mention I have a penis.
My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some
mouth-
to-mouth?
Show me your pussy!
If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?
If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? (if she says
no)
say Good, because mine is 8 inchs.
Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!
Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'?
Nuthin could be finer than the taste of your vagina!
I'd rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
specimins
http://www.thepostm
prevents sagging
http://www.thepostm
the beauty shop
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ghetto Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You Know You're A Ghetto
Christian If--
You lie on an application to get a job
and then get up and testify that
"God made a way out of no way"
You get mad at a visitor
and call them out
for sitting in YOUR seat.
You tell the preacher
to baptize you from the neck down
because you just got your hair did!
You take 2 hours
to get ready for church,
get there late, and leave early!
You open your Bible and you cough from
the dust that flies out.
Your wedding song is rap
'Secret Lovers'.
You do not lift your hand during worship
because your acrylic nail is broken.
The only time
you like to sing in the choir
is when they let you sing "your" song.
You do not donate
to the church because you say,
"the preacher might be crooked
and stealing the Lord's money,
so I ain't want to give it to him."
After you've done wrong
and someone has rebuked you,
you don't repent but you say,
"Well the Lord knows my heart."
If you have ever said,
"show me in the Bible
where it says,
"thou shall not smoke crack."
You overheard someone say,
"We got fed today at service"
and you asked if they served chicken.
Your favorite part of the
service is the benediction.
You buy "hot" merchandise
and testify the Lord blessed me
with a TV, jewelry, clothes, etc.
You just got finished
smoking on the outside of the church
and then try to lead a song,
get choked up,
holding your throat
and say to the congregation,
"The devil don't want me to sing this song."
Let others know
the signs of
a "ghetto" Christian.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep Your Food Fresh Up To 50 Days Longer
Always Fresh Containers help extend the lifespan of your fruits,
vegetables and much more. This ultimate food storage system absorbs
and removes food-spoling ethylene gas released during the natural
ripening process.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Time Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A well-dressed businessman was walking down the street when Little
Johnny, covered in soot said to him respectfully, "Sir, can you tell
me the time?"
The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat and jacket,
removed a large watch from a vest pocket, looked at it and said, "It
is a quarter to three, young man."
"Thanks," said Johnny. "At exactly three o'clock you can kiss my
ass."
With that, the kid took off running, and with an angry cry, the
outraged businessman started chasing him. He has not been running
long when an old friend stopped him. "Why are you running like this
at your age?" asked the friend.
Gasping and almost incoherent with fury, the businessman said, "That
little brat asked me the time and when I told him it was quarter to
three he told me that at exactly three, I should kiss his ass!"
"So what's your hurry?" said the friend. "You still have ten
minutes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Swivel and sweep in any direction
The Swivel Sweeper G2 is the new and improved floor and carpet
sweeper that lets you clean dirt and messes faster and easier than
ordinary cordless sweepers. The cordless G2 sweeper features a 360
degree swiveling head and quad brush technology. With a magnetic
storage latch the G2 folds up to take less room than a broom.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Birth Control Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman with eight children happened to run across a childhood
friend of hers on the street corner. "Nancy," she asked, "why do you
have no children?"
"I practice preventive measures," was the answer.
"Preventive measures? What's that?" asked Donna.
"I use two saucers and a box. My husband's shorter than I am and we
like to screw standing up. When he gets a hard-on I pull up my
dress, spread my legs, and put two saucers on the table. He stands
up on the box so he can get all the way inside me and starts jumping
up and down."
"So where does all this get you?" asked Donna, confused.
"That's when I got to watch him very closely. When his eyes get as
big as those two saucers, I kick the box out from under him."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Use the Power of the Sun to Recharge your Portable Devices!
The JuiceBar Solar multi device solar charger is a must have gadget
if you have a PDA, iPod, smart phone or any other mobile
device.</br>
Don't get caught with no juice in your battery any more! Recharge
ANYTIME and ANYWHERE!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was once a woman who owned a dog that she named Titswiggle.
One day when she came home from work she discovered that her beloved
dog had run away.
She was out all night asking if anyone had seen a loose dog. Nobody
had seen him that night but the next morning she met Little Johnny
on the street, who said that he had seen a stray dog. The dog he
described matched hers exactly.
Upon finding out this information she asked Little Johnny,
"OH, Little Johnny, you have seen my little Titswiggle, then?"
"No ma'am, but I sure would like to!!" Little Johnny replied.
In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of
her old age, she was still a virgin. She was
very proud of it.
She knew her last days were getting closer,
so she told the local undertaker that she
wanted the following inscription on her
tombstone:
"Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin".
Not long after, the old maid died peacefully,
and the undertaker told his men what the lady
had said. The men went to carve it in, but as
the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the
inscription to be unnecessarily long.
They simply wrote:
"Returned unopened"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Magnifies, Clips, and Files for Perfect Nails
Sure Clip is the world's most advanced nail clipper. The wide,
rubberized non-slip comfort grip
gives you complete control and the professional quality stainless
steel blades give a clean, precise
cut every time. With an extra wide opening the Sure Clip easily cuts
right through thick and hard nails.
There's even a built in diamond-edge steel file, to smooth edges or
for quick touch ups.
No more flying clips, bending over to clean up, or struggling to see
what you're cutting.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beach Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother and father took their 6-year-old son
to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the
beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had
larger breasts than his mother's and asked her
why.
She told her son, "The bigger they are the
dumber the person is."
The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play
in the ocean but returns to tell his mother
that many of the men have larger units than
his dad.
His mother replied, "The bigger they are the
dumber the person is."
Again satisfied with this answer, the boy
returns to then ocean to play. Shortly after,
the boy returned again. He promptly told
his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest
girl on the beach, and the longer he talks,
the dumber he gets."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now your pets can go whenever they need, no more rushing home just
to find a mess.
The Potty Patch is a 3 tiered doggie restroom perfect for patios and
indoor use.
The top is made of a soft artificial grass specifically designed to
let liquid
flow through. A grate keeps the grass dry and above any liquid. The
collection
tray holds up to a gallon of liquid allowing multiple uses. Whether
you live in
a high rise apartment, deal with cold weather or just can't get home
during the
day, Potty Patch is the perfect solution.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/And Is It Love
http://www.silveran
ml
Imaginary Lovers
http://www.carolspo
DEAR CHRISTIAN AMERICA
http://www.wtv-
Identity Theft 2
http://www.Shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
And new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
And new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
your PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Howstuffworks "Why do we celebrate Labor Day?"
http://www.howstuff
Labor Day
http://www.geocitie
U.S. DOL - The History of Labor Day
http://www.dol.
Labor Day Fun Facts, Recipes, Barbecue & Party Ideas
http://www.chiff.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.
Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
or laptop.
Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.
Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Labor Day Printables - Labor Day Wordsearch
http://homeschoolin
The Labor day - Greetings, history, wallpapers and more
http://www.theholid
How Disc Drives Work
http://www.howstuff
*+*+*+*+*+*+
A Special Invitation For You!
Play Unlimited Cash Poker - Play for $10,000 Today!
1 Million members are already playing:
* Cash payouts - over $150,000/month
* No commitments or obligations
* Over 7,500 tournaments/
Join the largest, legal U.S. cash poker room now!
Start Winning Today!
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Judy w/ Labor day History
http://frommyheart2
Judy w/ Labor Day Dreams
http://frommyheart2
Judy w/They Yearned The Right
http://frommyheart2
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
$497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!
Why am I giving this away?
I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths
sell wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that
I've to decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training
System so I can help people finally get the truth!
See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the
right way.
Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
FREE*- DATING SITE and DATING COMMUNITY!
Are you still SINGLE? Last week we sent you an email to notify you
about our new dating network that is -FREE- to join, and not only do
we have thousands of single women and men located right in your
city, but we have the EXACT SINGLE women and men that you would want
to meet and date this week!
PRESS HERE TO JOIN FOR NO COST (MUST BE 18 and OLDER):No Credit Card
Required:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movies
Fanfare
http://www.buffalos
Final Call
http://www.buffalos
Flashlights
http://www.buffalos
Girls
http://www.buffalos
Giving Change Adult
http://www.buffalos
Kitty Is In Love
http://www.buffalos
Kiwi Bacon Mmmm!
http://www.buffalos
Loafing
http://www.buffalos
Looking For My Wallet And Car Keys
http://www.buffalos
Lundi
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Viagra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
SIGNS YOUR PET IS TAKING VIAGRA
* Let's just say the cat isn't always landing on its feet these
days.
* Your Acura dealer called, asking where Mr. Furpants wants his new
NSX delivered.
* The catching and toying with the field mice is still cute and all,
but now you have to leave the room for the endgame.
* Still waiting to greet you at the door when you arrive home from
work, but now wears a French maid outfit.
* Stupid grin when Bob Dole/Britney Spears Pepsi commercial comes
on.
* Instead of digging up your garden, your dachshund is *plowing* it.
* He's the only dog around wearing a velvet jacket and smoking a
pipe.
* Fido throws in the extended-play Barry White CD before starting to
hump your leg.
* Spot complains of headache and blue-tinted vision, despite being
colorblind, then says, "But enough about me...how're *you* doin'?"
* Distinct rut in the gravel circling the plastic castle in the
goldfish bowl.
* Flightless birds now include the ostrich, the emu, the penguin,
and your parrot with the huge penis.
* The little diver at the bottom of the tank has his suit around his
ankles and an exhausted smile on his face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't just Mask Odors, Eliminate them for Good
Eliminate smells once and for all. What Odor rids the toughest odors
from smoke to pet to garbage. It's so powerful it even has the
strength to get rid of skunk odor. This will be the last odor
eliminator product you'll ever have to buy and with every order
we'll plant a tree.
Order today and we'll double your offer at no charge.
View Website
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
butthole express
http://www.buffalos
butt muff1
http://www.buffalos
butt muff2
http://www.buffalos
buttons2
http://www.buffalos
bye bye
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The World's First Bake, Slice and Serve Brownie Maker
The patented design of the Perfect Brownie baking pan bakes each
piece separately so they are flakey and crispy on the outside, but
rich and gooey on the inside. The non-stick divider is so slippery
not even yummy marshmallow treats will stick.
Bake the best brownies every time with Perfect Brownie.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young fellow of Harrow
Whose john was the size of a marrow.
He said to his tart,
"How's this for a start?
My balls are outside in a barrow."
The drugs that we take when we're ailin'
Have alternate names for retailin':
Tylenol's Acetaminophen,
Advil is Ibuprophen
And Viagra is Mycoxafailin.
There was a young gay man from Shank
whose dick got so hot that it shrank
he couldn't believe it
he cut it, relieved it
and sold it the next day to a skank
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Repair Scratched Wood Instantly Stop covering up embarrassing
scratches...
clean and the scratch is gone. Fix It Wood works on all types of
wood colors, stains and grains. So whether your wood is dark, light
or in between it repairs it instantly. The wood scratch has met its
match. View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was crossing a road one day, when a chicken called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He
bent over, picked up the chicken, and put it in his pocket. The
chicken spoke up again, and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave
you are, and how you are my hero." The man took the chicken out of
his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The chicken
spoke up again, and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire
week." The man took the chicken out of his pocket, smiled at it, and
returned it to his pocket. The chicken then cried out, "If you kiss
me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year,
and do ANYTHING you want." Again, the man took the chicken out,
smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the chicken
asked, "What is the matter with you? I've told you I'm a beautiful
princess, that I'll stay with you for a year, and do anything you
want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, Chick, I'm a
software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking
chicken is cool."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
ShamWow washes, dries and polishes any surface. It's like a towel,
chamois and sponge all in one. They are made in Germany from a
revolutionary fabric that can absorb over 20X its weight in liquid.
Use them to quickly clean up spills and they won't scratch any
surface. ShamWows are perfect for your car, boat and many household
uses. You can even use them as a towel and works great for drying
your pets. ShamWows are machine washable and bleachable. Use them
over and over, they are so durable we guarantee your ShamWows for 10
years.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a difficult case for the jurors. They had to decide whether
the owners of the Bottoms Up Club in NYC were guilty of obscenity.
The Judge decided that it would probably be best if the jury went to
the club and see the allegedly obscene act.
The judge and the jury watched the act once, focusing on the part
where a sexy couple performed the "Dance of Love" with a climactic
scene of lovemaking on a bearskin rug. The jury was unable to decide
definitely whether it was obscene or not. So the jury members asked
to see the act one more time. They watched it carefully again. But
they still couldn't reach a decision. So this time they asked the
understudies to perform the same act one more time.
Fortunately, the police involved in the case were very
understanding. According to the Detective: "It is a difficult
matter. The police have watched the show 75 times."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
FREE Shipping on Chicago Steak Company's Favorite Packages - Limited
Time Only Shop Today Chicago's Best Seller - Free Shipping Reg
Price: $143.00 - Sale Price: $89.99 Our most popular combination of
delicious gourmet steaks. Order today and we will throw in shipping
on this package for FREE.
Gift Pack Includes:
- 2 (6 oz) Filet Mignon's
- 2 (10 oz) Boneless Strips
- 2 (8 oz) Top Sirloins
- 2 (8 oz) Ribeye's NEW ITEM!
- 6 (8oz) Boneless Pork Chops
Reg: $59.99 - Sale: $28.99
These hearty, center cut, Boneless Pork Chops are great for any
occasion. Whether pan-frying, baking, or grilling, these juicy chops
are sure to please. Featured Items Over 30 Flavors of Cheesecake
Angelina's Gourmet Blueshell Crabcakes 100% Domestic US Blue Crab
100% Jumbo-lump meat AS SEEN ON THE FOOD NETWORK! Raspberry Mousse
Torte AS SEEN ON THE FOOD NETWORK! Our moist Chocolate Cake layered
with rich Chocolate Ganache, creamy Raspberry Mousse and fresh
Raspberries Certified Maine Lobsters Whole Live Lobster 2 (2lb)
$129.00 Lobster Tails 4 (6oz) $89.00 Shipped Directly from Maine
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Email Finder
We make it easy to find almost anyone's email address. We've
organized the world's largest directory of email addresses available
to the public through special data partnerships. With our service
you can instantly:
.Reconnect with old friends, classmates and lost business contacts
.Find current email, address, and phone information .Search profiles
from over 20 social networks at once .And much more!
http://buffaloschip
Discover How You Can Start Your Own Profitable
Sewing Machine Repair Business.
Learn How Sewing Machines Work & How To Repair Them.
Check Out Our Free Beginner's Course.
Become a sewing machine repair expert with our extensive
Sewing Machine Repair Tech Courses.
All in the comfort of your own home.
In just a few moments you can be enjoying
the thrills of sewing machine repair.
http://buffaloschip
Orchid Care Expert - A Practical Guide
The Most Practical Guide To Orchid Care To Be Found On The Internet.
Whether you own just one orchid and you are looking for a few tips
or you have been growing orchids for years this is going to be the
most important site you will find on the internet.
Would you like to grow the most beautiful orchids? Well this guide
will 'hold your hand' as you buy and care for your first orchid to
producing your own hybrids
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG.
Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.23.21/1456 - Release Date:
5/20/2008 6:45 AM
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
No comments:
Post a Comment