Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Sunday morning and thoughts of brunch and football fill the
buffalo's head. Yesterday morning we had a bowlful of
leftover taco meat so Sandy fried it up with eggs and we
had breakfast burritos. Quite tasty but not exactly diet food. I had
a 3 lb setback in my weight last week caused by a
scale failure. I went to check my weight and it read, " One
at a time please." and then it just died. I guess I'll have to take
a run over to Wal-mart and get another one.
Anyhow I was looking for some ideas for breakfast and I was
shocked at what I found. The US Navy now serves Creamed
Ground Turkey as an alternative to the standard SOS made
with ground beef.
http://www.combatin
I could try that for brunch but I don't have the 18 lbs. of ground
turkey required. I have played with ground turkey in some of
my Mexican recipes and I can make it taste like hamburger but you
just can't get the right texture. My turkey always seems a little
rubbery and you got to question using a breakfast meat that makes
you want to take a nap after you eat it. I guess I'll just have to
wait and see what Sandy surprises me with.
Enjoy the chips .... buffalo
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Psych Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman who had the worst chronic headache goes to a famous "new
age"
holistic doctor, as a last resort.
"Doctor, I have tried everything, but my headache just won't go
away."
The doctor replied, "You have come to the right place. This is what
I
want
you to do: go home, stare at yourself in the mirror, point your
index
fingers at your temples, and repeat this mantra: "I really don't
have a
headache...I really don't have a headache". Do it as long as it
takes,
the
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As she leaves the doctor's office, skeptical but curious at the same
time,
she tries the maneuver in front of the mirror in the elevator.
Fingers
pointed at her temples, she starts repeating "I really don't have a
headache, I really don't have a headache..."
four
times, when she realizes her headache is gone. Shocked and elated,
she
runs
back up to the doctor.
"Doctor, you are a genius! Can I please send you my husband? He's
been
having problems in a certain department..
"When was the last time you two had sex?"
"About eight years ago."
"Send him over."
A few days later, she is waiting with baited breath for her husband
to
come
home from the doctor. He arrives, asks her to wait, and goes
straight to
the bathroom. When he comes out, he throws her on the couch and
starts
making wild passionate love to her. When he's finished, he goes
right
back
to the bathroom.
A few minutes later he comes out, rouses her from her bliss and
starts
at
it again, like an insatiable young man. After another hour of great
sex
he
goes and locks himself in the bathroom again.
At this point the wife has become unbearably curious. She tiptoes to
the
bathroom door, looks through the keyhole, and sees her husband,
staring
at
himself in the mirror, fingers pointed at his temples, repeating:
"That
woman is not my wife,
that woman is not my wife....."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Cruise Missiles
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Letter Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman who had the worst chronic headache goes to a famous "new
age"
holistic doctor, as a last resort.
"Doctor, I have tried everything, but my headache just won't go
away."
The doctor replied, "You have come to the right place. This is what
I
want
you to do: go home, stare at yourself in the mirror, point your
index
fingers at your temples, and repeat this mantra: "I really don't
have a
headache...I really don't have a headache". Do it as long as it
takes,
the
headache is just going to vanish."
As she leaves the doctor's office, skeptical but curious at the same
time,
she tries the maneuver in front of the mirror in the elevator.
Fingers
pointed at her temples, she starts repeating "I really don't have a
headache, I really don't have a headache..."
four
times, when she realizes her headache is gone. Shocked and elated,
she
runs
back up to the doctor.
"Doctor, you are a genius! Can I please send you my husband? He's
been
having problems in a certain department..
"When was the last time you two had sex?"
"About eight years ago."
"Send him over."
A few days later, she is waiting with baited breath for her husband
to
come
home from the doctor. He arrives, asks her to wait, and goes
straight to
the bathroom. When he comes out, he throws her on the couch and
starts
making wild passionate love to her. When he's finished, he goes
right
back
to the bathroom.
A few minutes later he comes out, rouses her from her bliss and
starts
at
it again, like an insatiable young man. After another hour of great
sex
he
goes and locks himself in the bathroom again.
At this point the wife has become unbearably curious. She tiptoes to
the
bathroom door, looks through the keyhole, and sees her husband,
staring
at
himself in the mirror, fingers pointed at his temples, repeating:
"That
woman is not my wife,
that woman is not my wife....."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two prisoners were having a chat. The first one said. "I've got two
tickets for the warden's ball, Do you want to buy one?" "No thanks,"
said the second guy. "I can't dance." "It's not a dance," said the
first
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A guy runs into an ex-girlfriend, with whom he didn't have the
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"Why, because you miss me?"
"No, because it keeps me from cumming too fast."
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely Active sex
life.
He said He had a wife, several mistresses, masturbated, and had wet
dreams all the time.
The Doctor asked Which he liked the Best.
He Replied, "Wet Dreams, you meet a much higher class of people in
them."
Put in charge of organizing my friend's baby shower, I decided to
send
out invitations via email. To let my husband know that he had
baby-sitting duty that day, I entered his name on the "copy to"
line.
Within minutes of sending the messages, I received an email back
from my
husband. He wrote, "Imagine my disappointment when I realized that
your
invitation wasn't sent only to me."
He was referring to the "Subject" line of my message, which read,
"Lunch
and a shower."
While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing out
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Women Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Advice From Women To Men
1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear
is because WE actually change our underwear.
2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women
in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim
at the toilet rim.
3. If we're watching football with you--it's not bonding--it'
butts.
4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have
to say after the movie.
5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.
7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask
in
bed.
8. The next time you joke about female drivers, research
the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.
9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep
track of "who's easy"?
10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.
11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.
12. We don't mind if you look in the mirror to check your appearance
--
in fact -- please do !!!
13. When you're out with us, please wear "our" favorite
outfit rather than "yours" -- the torn jeans and dirty
T-Shirt will last longer that way.
14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system
to indicate a positive vs a negative grunt.
15. Don't insist that we "get off the stupid phone" and
then not talk to us.
16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.
17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily "women's work"; besides,
most
of the "dirt" and clutter is yours anyway.
18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is
it then you never want to cook?
19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.
20. Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling; however,
very
few raises or promotions were gained by arm wrestling the boss.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The blonde co-ed danced excitedly into her room clapping and
chanting, "I won! I won! That guy is so stupid!"
Her room mate asked "What on Earth are you going on about?"
"Well," the blonde explained, "I just met this really stupid guy who
bet me a dollar that if I touched my toes he could screw me without
my feeling a thing, and I won!"
Jill: How long has it been since you had sex, Mary?
Mary: Well, THAT'S an awfully personal question!
Jill: That long, huh?
Three old guys from the twilight home were given, as a treat, a day
at the beach. And it turned out to be a nudist beach. They were
watching the various young women agog.
When the prettiest of them all walked by, one of the men said, "I'd
like to give her a hug."
"I'd like to give her a kiss," said the second man.
And the third old man said, "What was that other thing we used to
do?"
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The fact of the matter is: Jack
Had long wanted Jill on her back;
So he told her some tale,
About filling a pail...
And then bungled his plan of attack.
No problem to get her clothes a peeling....
But complained she felt no sexual feeling
So had her douche a bit with blue Lavoris
And being a gent I just tickled her clitoris
And had to pry her off a fan in the ceiling
Young Barb was intrigued with romance..
One night she decided to take a chance..
And went dancin' and imbibing on the go
Till she ended up with that special glow
And soon her younger sisters were aunts
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
* What If Titanic sank Today?
Reaction from different countries:
U.S.A:
"A ship coming to Freedom was attacked by terrorists. We will not
sit
quiet and we will teach them a lesson.
Bin Laden you can run but you cannot hide we will find you and
destroy your Al-Qaeda network."
(President Bush........ who else?)
U.K:
"I have spoken to the President of United States and we have both
agreed that the sinking of Titanic is significant proof that Iran is
clearly behind this attack, Iran is imposing a threat to the world
and this has to be dealt with."
Iraq:
"LOL!!!"
Israel:
"These Hamas and other terrorist network is enough evidence to say
that sinking of Titanic is not an accident but it was their suicide
bombers who have committed such a crime.We will now impose curfew on
the Palestinians, detain them, exile them, kill them, starve them,
destroy their homes and refugee camps."
(Ariel Sharon)
Canada:
"Titanic who?"
(Canadian Prime Minister)
India:
"Is mein Pakistan ka haath hai. [Pakistan is involved] We have
received passports of Pakistani extremists from the Titanic debris.
Pakistanis will have to pay for such horrendous act of terrorism. We
are now deploying more soldiers to the border."
(Prime Minister)
UN:
"Shit happens right??"
(Sec.Gen.)
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing.
After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some
beer. Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa, can I have some beer too?"
"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked back.
"No."
"Well, then you're not big enough."
Grandpa then takes out a cigarette and lights up. Little Johnny
sees this and asks for a cigarette.
"Can you stick your penis in your asshole?" grandpa asked again.
"No."
"Well, then you're not big enough."
Little Johnny gets upset and pulls out some cookies. His
grandfather says, "Hey, those cookies look good, can I have some?"
Little Johnny asks, "Can you stick your penis in your asshole?"
Grandpa looks at Johnny and senses his trick, so he says, "Well of
course I can, I'm big enough."
Little Johnny then says, "Well, then go fuck yourself, these are my
cookies."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
VOl 1428
Sandi's Dream
Sandi is laying by her Daddy who is a young boy of ten. BJ is
fishing
of a riverbank using a cane pole. The butterflies are about and the
day
is a beautiful fall day, not too cold and not too warm. Sandi is at
peace
as the day continues... what will we do today? Will we get on that
raft again or will we take another nap in the clover? I am glad
young
daddy brought some hot dogs to cook...yummy.
BJ: Sandi, I have an idea. How about you and I go hunt some
rabbits
after we fix some hot dogs?
Sandi: Oh, I am so happy, what a great day.
BJ: Yeah, after we eat, and hunt rabbits, then how about a nice
long
nap by the creek?
Sandi's heart is really beating fast...:Oh boy, what a great day.
This is
Heaven.
BJ: After we get home tonight, let's go play with you an your
puppies
that you and Rudy had.
Sandi's eyes are moist: Yes, my family, my puppies..I have four, one
white
one like Rudy, and the others look like collies.. oh I hope I sleep
a long time.
BJ pulls out some beef jerky: Until the hot dogs are ready, how
about this
girl?
BJ hands her the jerky then hugs her and pets her and then starts to
brush
her hair.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
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