Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Timothy F. writes,
I guess I must be on the wrong page on this "clunker" stuff ... A
vehicle at 15 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 800 gallons a year
of gasoline.
A vehicle at 25 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 480 gallons a
year.
The average clunker transaction will reduce US gasoline consumption
by 320 gallons per year. They claim 700,000 vehicles – so that's 224
million gallons per year.
That equates to a bit over 5 million barrels of oil.
5 million barrels of oil is about ¼ of one day's US consumption.
5 million barrels of oil costs about $350 million dollars at $75 per
bbl. So, we all contributed to spending $3 billion...to save $350
million.
Hmmm! How good a deal was that?
I'm thinking that they will probably do a great job with health care
though!.
buffalo says To be fair you have to project the number of years
of life that these vehicles had left to figure the true savings. I
tend to buy the vehicles that were on the list and drive them for
another five years so the savings are more than over one year. This
was also the best thing that has been done so far with the stimulus
program money because it saved jobs, brought unemployed workers back
to work and spread
the profits between the large corporations and local dealerships
which infused money into our local businesses.
On the other hand though for there to be a true savings these
vehicles should have been scrapped but they weren't. My sister works
for a company that auctions vehicles for insurance companies. They
are also one of the companies tasked with auctioning off all the
clunkers where they are frequently back on a used car lot in the
same area where they were sold. The only ones scrapped are those
that do not even get a
bid for resale. From the lots they go primarily to first time
drivers like high school kids who will spend every cent that they
earn or beg off of their parents to run the road. So even though we
have helped the economy and improved our average gas mileage overall
we have not helped stop our demand for foreign oil, we have made it
worse.
It might be a good time to start drilling off the California
Coastline.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
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Dear Kotex,
I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a
bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:
- Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
- Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
- Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling
fresh.
- Try Kotex blah blah blah other products.
Obviously the person behind this was someone who has never possessed
a functioning pair of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating
woman TO HER FACE that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep
her feeling fresh. See what happens and report back. I'll wait
here.
While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the
chocolate from the vending machine. I guaran-damn-
first responders will be females who just ovulated.
Look, females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene
products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like
that from their elderly relatives. Veteran females have already
concocted their own recipes for survival, most containing alcohol.
Printing out shit advice while sneaking in ads for the brand THAT
WAS ALREADY PURCHASED is just plain annoying, not to mention rude
and enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.
Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products. It's
not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces
or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging.
Put the shit in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our
carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer.
There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package
announcing your uterine state to everyone in the damn store. The
ultimate goal of your product should be functional invisibility at
every stage, including the point of purchase.
So take your tips for living and shove them right up your ass.
(Try drinking six to eight glasses of water to make you feel fresher
while you're doing it!)
Ovarily Yours
Miss PMS
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Heaven Chips
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to herself, "Why did I sell those kids those cigarettes?"
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Golf Chips
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Things You Shouldn't say off the Golf Course
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Five Dollar Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were these two women who were friends and neighbors. One
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asked:"
how do you get all that great stuff?" " I do it by charging my
husband
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"
Great, she said, "that sounds easy, I"ll do it". So, the next time
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had
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me
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"Okay"
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Farmer John has three sons. One day his oldest comes to him and
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The head nurse was nearing retirement, she had seen just about
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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