THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"You're never as good as everyone tells you when you
win, and you're never as bad as they say when you lose."
~Lou Holtz
AS SEEN ON TV !!!!!!
The Turbo Snake
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Turbo Snake's specially designed head grabs & locks
onto hair clogs to remove and free the drain instantly!
It's that easy! What's best, its flexible design
easily maneuvers down the drain to seek out clogs
without having to remove the drain stopper. For
bathroom sinks, showers & tubs. Each set includes
the Large Turbo Snake for Showers and Tubs, Small
Turbo Snake for Sinks, and Peel and Stick Storage Hook.
Now only $10.00 plus S&H or double the offer for an extra P&H.
http://tinyurl.com/y98ba4l
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I was talking to some friends of mine the other day
who had come over to the house. Turk the dog, aka Carlos
the rat, went into his normal set of shenanigans whenever
there are visitors: lots of barking, jumping up on the
furniture, trying to mull the guests over with lots of
unwanted dog kisses, etc. And I personally was trying
to unsuccessfully get him settled down and stuck into
his cage. That is when my friend, who is not a dog lover,
said, "I will never understand why a person
would want to own a dog as a pet." If you are a dog
owner you know that this is the wrong thing to say to
a person who owns a dog. I turned to my friend and said,
"You know what?
You can take a dog and bring him up into prosperity,
and if you do, then
he will never turn on you. And that my friend, is
the difference between a dog and a man."
My friend said not another word.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v001.html
what he said
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v002.html
we care
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v003.html
just think
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v004.html
what zone????
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v005.html
how the taliban do it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v006.html
Mary
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v007.html
I'm glad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v008.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Australians making up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8092.html
Frank the talking monkey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8093.html
the singing anesthesiologists
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8094.html
fat Tony's
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8095.html
Hyde Park boys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8096.html
shoppin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8097.html
baby bomber
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8098.html
the swimmers and the alligator
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8099.html
______________
An elderly man went to the doctor for a visit.
"Doc," he says," I am so stricken. I have chest
pains, headaches, back pains, nausea, arthritis,
constipation, stomach cramps, earaches,burning
in the eyes, congested lungs..."
"Sir," says the doctor,"you complain you
have so many things...what DON'T you have?"
The man answers-"Teeth."
_________________
Missing Husband Report
A lady went to the police station to file a report for her missing Husband:
Lady: I lost my Husband
Inspector: What is his height
Lady: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Lady: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Colour of eyes
Lady: Never noticed
Inspector: Colour of hair
Lady: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was he wearing
Lady: Suit/casuals I don't remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him.........????
Lady: Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain,
height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair,
his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks,
wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes
non veg food, we eat together, we jog together..
And the lady started crying...
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first........!!!!
___________
Definitions
Camel: A horse designed by a committee.
Capital punishment: Income tax.
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they
are born and after they are dead.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper,
fire at one end, fool at the other.
Classic: A book that everybody wants to have read,
and nobody wants to read.
Committee: A group that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Conversation: A vocal competition in which the one
who is catching his breath is called the listener.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
Cynic: Someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing ..
____________
A game warden noticed how a particular fellow
named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone
else, whereas the other guys would only catch three
or four a day. Sam would come in off the lake with
a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always
packed with freshly caught trout. The warden,
curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful
fisherman invited the game warden to accompany
him and observe. So the next morning the two met
at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they
got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat,
and the warden sat back to see how it was done.
Sam's approach was simple. He took out a stick of
dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the air. The
explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead
fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net
and started scooping them up. Well, you can imagine
the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from
the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam. "You can't
do this! I'll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying
every fine there is in the book!"
Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another
stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of
the game warden with these words, "Are you going to sit
there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?"
______________
Jill: C'mon, Mary, exactly how many men have you been with?
Mary: Now, Jill, I've taken the Army's policy on that
information and adapted it for my own situation.
Jill: What do you mean?
Mary: Don't ask; don't tell; don't remember.
_____________________
BUFALO BILL
Topper
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62511.htm
Trained Puppies
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62512.htm
Tread Mill
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62513.htm
Tree Sex
http://www.buffaloschips.com/62514.htm
___________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Car Advert
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000289.html
Car Alarm System
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000290.html
Car Gymnastics
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000291.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
MARTIN AKA THE POSTMAN
__._,_.___
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