THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Never, under any circumstances, take a
Sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
______________
Indoor Potty Pad
Prevent pet accidents in your home with Backyard Buddy.
It's made of a synthetic grass like surface that prevents
stains and rinses clean in seconds. Unlike dripping
newspapers and expensive wee wee pads, Backyard Buddy's
reusable surface stays fresh and sanitary. Use it for
training puppies to special needs dogs to long days at the office.
Protect your upholstery and flooring with Backyard Buddy.
http://tinyurl.com/nv954f
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I believe in Miracles and dreams that will come true,
And I believe in happiness And friendship, through and through
I believe that when you cry your tears are not in vain,
And when you're sad and lonely someone knows that you're in pain.
I believe that when we laugh a sparkle starts to shine,
And before you know these sparks will spread
From more hearts than just mine.
I believe the gifts you have are there for you to share
And when you give them from the heart, the whole world knows you care.
I believe that if you give, even just to one,
That gift will grow in magnitude before the day is done.
I believe that comfort comes from giving part of me,
And if I share with others, there's more for all so see.
I believe that love is still the greatest gift of all,
And when it's given from the heart, Love will conquer all.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
flavor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s050.html
beer belt
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s051.html
caution
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s052.html
through the ages
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s053.html
a fake
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s054.html
the pumper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s055.html
Doctor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s056.html
extra
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s057.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Bob Nelson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7088.html
crack plaster
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7089.html
spinning
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7090.html
misquito
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7091.html
la la the penguin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7092.html
Ike and Tina
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies7093.html
A Muslim dies & finds himself before the pearly gates.
He is very excited, as all his life he has longed
to meet the Prophet Mohammed.
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven,
he meets a man with a beard.
'Are you Mohammed?' he asks.
'No. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up.'
He points to a ladder that rises into the clouds .
Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter,
he climbs the ladder in great strides,climbs
through the clouds coming to a room where he
meets another bearded man.
He asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'
'No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still.'
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy, he
continues to climb the ladder & yet again,
he discovers an even larger room where he meets
another man with a beard.
Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'
No, I am Jesus. You will find Mohammed higher up.'
Mohammed higher than Jesus!
The poor man can hardly contain his delight &
climbs higher again & reaches a larger room where
he meets a man with a beard & repeats his question:
'Are you Mohammed?' he gasps, as he is by now
totally out of breath from all his climbing.
'No. I am God. But you look exhausted.
Would you like a coffee?'
'Yes, please, my Lord'
God looks behind him, claps his hands,
& calls out: 'Hey, Mohammed! Two coffees!'
___________
A grade three teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition,
and she decides to ask her students what they had for
breakfast. To add a spelling component, she asks the
students to also spell their answers.
Susan puts up her hand and says she had an egg,
'E-G-G'. 'Very good', says the teacher.
Peter says he had toast. 'T-O-A-S-T'. 'Excellent.'
Johnny has his hand up and the teacher
reluctantly calls on him. 'I had fuck all',
he says, 'F-U-C-K A-L-L'
The teacher is mortified and scolds Johnny for
his rude answer.
Later when the lesson turns to geography, she asks
the students some rudimentary questions. She
remembers Johnny's rude answer and decides to
give him a very difficult question.
'Where is the Pakistani border?'
'The Pakistani boarder is in bed with my Mum.
That's why I got fuck all for breakfast'.
________________
Last night I was in a rare tender mood. I made love
to my wife and afterward held her close.
"I love you terribly," I whispered.
"You certainly do," was her reply.
_______________
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a
commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table
and shouted, "Order, order." The drunkard immediately responded,
"Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
_______________
Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly
she looked up suspiciously at her husband.
"Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from
mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to
come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What
does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that
she was to come at her own convenience.
You did write, didn't you?"
"Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I,
I couldn't spell 'convenience,' so I made it 'risk.'"
____________
Things I learned from being in Georgia:
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
-
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in
Georgia
-
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in
Georgia..
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4. If it grows, it'll stick ya.. If it crawls , it'll bite cha.
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5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.
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6. It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
-
7. 'Jaw-P?' means, 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Jamacos
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsdw.htm
Just Walk It ff Sissy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfssd.htm
The Vasectomy Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dssss.htm
______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Lost in the City
http://tinyurl.com/mmgehp
The Devil In The Kid
http://tinyurl.com/nfwg7a
Hidden in Time: Mirror Mirror
http://tinyurl.com/o5vcgv
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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