THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Ignorant men don't know what good they hold in their hands until they've flung it away Sophocles  PERSONALIZED MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE the ideal Valentines day gift! Choose from our 7 verses or write your own and we'll custom personalize your sentiments. Inscribed on stylish, speckled parchment paper accented with heart graphics, then delicately rolled and tied with a red ribbon. Corked securely in the bottle, your message is ready to set sail! Can be shipped to you or directly to your sweetheart, inside a lovely white mailing tube.This popular, personalized gift will be remembered and treasured through the years! http://www.thepostm  Just scoop, press and cook your way to the burger sensation that's sweeping the nation! Enjoy delicious burgers without the time and mess from other methods. Meal time, snack time, every time is the right time for sliders! And as a limited time offer, you'll receive a Quick Prep Slicer at no charge. http://www.thepostm  Get your FREE iRobot(R) Roomba(R) 560 Vacuum today The new iRobot(R) Roomba(R) 560 Vacuum is stylish & smart but best of all - you'll never have to vacuum again! An automatic sensor enables the iRobot(R) Roomba(R) to guide itself around your home! It adjusts itself from carpet to hard floors and picks up dirt, dust, pet hair and concentrated messes! Don't wait - Get this new cleaning sensation, a $350 value - FREE today! http://www.thepostm  FourPointMoms: Earn An Income At Home Do you want... Quality Time with Family Flexibility in Your Schedule? No Day Care Costs? No Commute? Financial Peace? Part-Time OR Replacement Income Working From Home? http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! After being displayed in the US and sent back to Italy, Italy is returning the statue "David" by Michaelangelo to the US.  Been a few changes to David since he was in the US  David's proud sponsors were:  We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS http://www.thepostm LETS GO TO THE MOVIES POWER POINT DISPLAYS At school one day the teacher heard cat noises coming from the class, and she discovered little Jimmy with a cat up his jumper. She said, "Why have you got your cat at school?" Little Jimmy started crying. "I woke up this morning to hear the postman tell Mummy 'I'm gonna eat your pussy today!" ____________ At the cinema a man noticed a young woman sitting all by herself. He was excited to see she had both hands under her skirt and was playing herself furiously. He moved to the next seat to her and offered his help. She welcomed his help, and so the man started playing her like crazy. When he tired and withdrew his hand, he was surprised to see her go back to work on herself with both hands. Wasn't I good enough?" he asked sheepishly. "Great," she said, "but these crabs are still itching!" ____________ As it gets older, the differential starts slopping, and the U-joints get worn, causing the drive shaft to go bad. The transmission won't go into high gear and sometimes has difficulty getting out of low. Overdrive is out of the question! The cylinders get worn and lose compression, making it hard to climb the slightest incline. When it is climbing the tappets clatter and ping to the point where one wonders if the old bus will make it to the top. The carburetor gets fouled with pollutants and other matter, making it hard to get started in the morning. His gas fumes can kill ya! It is hard to keep the radiator filled because of the leaking hose. His frame has a big bow in the middle too. The thermostat goes out, making it difficult to reach operating temperature. The headlights grow dim, and the battery needs constant recharging. His shifter is stuck in the down position which is the 'low position' and ya can't get anywhere that way. But if the body looks good, we can keep it washed and polished, giving the impression it can compete with newer models and make one more trip down the primrose lane before the head gasket blows. __________ A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet down saying, "Don't unleash the beast in me." The wife snickered and replied, "Unlike a lot of women, 'dear', I'm not the least bit afraid of a mouse." ____________ A young woman went to an evening class to improve her sexual capabilities. When she gets there, she sees an apple, an orange and a pear hanging on strings from the ceiling, and a piece of chalk and a black-board. "What is all this for?" she asked. The instructor tells her to stand between the hanging fruit, and she does. "Now," said the instructor, "swing your hips to the left and touch the apple, now swing your hips to the right and touch the pear, then swing your hips forward and touch the orange." The young woman starts to rotate her hips, and soon gets a good rhythm going. "This is great," she said enthusiastically "but what is the chalk for?" "When you've got the hang of the fruit," said the instructor, "I want you to stick the chalk up your ass and write `Mississippi' on the black-board twenty times." ____________ Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? A: You cry when you cut up an onion. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar? A: The pronunciation. ____________ BUFFALO Bill Satin Sheets http://www.buffalos Saying Goodbye http://www.buffalos PAPA Thorn Hidden kisses http://able2laugh. Hot Dog Stand (naughty alert) http://able2laugh. THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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