THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Doubt will be buried under faith, fear will be killed with confidence. Og Mandino  Congratulations! You have been selected to receive a Trek(R) Lime(TM) Lite Bike a $560 value, yours FREE! The Trek(R) Lime(TM) Lite Bike is the perfect form of transportation! This automatic three-speed is equipped with puncture proof tires and a handy under- seat trunk for storage. Whether it is used for a quick commute to school, work or an easy ride to a friend's house" you'll save GAS and MONEY! Get the new Trek(R) Lime(TM) Lite Bike, a $560 value FREE today! http://www.thepostm  Do you need new shoes? Go shopping with your FREE $500 Famous Footwear(R) Gift Card. Don't wait to get the latest styles in footwear and apparel! Be a Trend Setter! Shop until you drop with your very own $500 Famous Footwear (R) Gift Card! Choose from all your favorite brands! Get your FREE $500 Famous Footwear Gift(R) Card today http://www.thepostm  Congratulations! You have been selected to receive a FREE Panasonic Blu-Ray DVD player and your favorite TV Series DVD Box Set! Choose between The Sopranos, Grey's Anatomy, or Lost DVD Box Sets and watch all your favorite episodes on your New Panasonic Blu-Ray player. Start watching all your favorite characters in the highest definition possible with this FREE Entertainment Package and be the envy of all your friends! http://www.thepostm  Have you been wanting to get a new laptop? Review a laptop for us and you'll get to keep it for FREE! Choose from a Sony Vaio(R), HP(R) Pavillion, MacBook(R) Pro or a Toshiba Satellite(R) think and you'll get to keep it for FREE - it's that easy! GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! This is the least favorite time of year for most folks. The holidays are over and ya gots to go back to work, cuz them ole credit card bills is a comin from Christmas. The temperatures are the lowest, the days are the shortest, and the motorcycle languishes neglected and forlorn in the shed. There isn't much good to look forward to in January and February. Except, at least for me and the war department, with a new year, that means our 2009 flex dollars, prescription coverage and doctors allotments kick in again for the new year. If you are like us, we had a two month gap where our benefit allotments for 2008 ran out a couple months before the year ended and it was touch and go. The other added benefit that I certainly do not mind:) This old dump of a house gets pretty drafty in the winter time. And over the past 30 years it has proven to be a plus, believe it or not. It makes a great night for snuggling up and "spooning" with the war department:) This time of year, you gotta look for the good things. You'll find em. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS I'm not self medicating http://www.thepostm I pushed the button http://www.thepostm must be a rough neighborhood http://www.thepostm on his high horse http://www.thepostm did you know http://www.thepostm that's a problem http://www.thepostm oh no, not again http://www.thepostm 2 timer! http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES crazy sheep http://www.thepostm playin in the water http://www.thepostm how to handle the wife http://www.thepostm what not to say to your wife http://www.thepostm The Recall-wav file http://www.thepostm R.D. Mercer at the theatre-wav file http://www.thepostm help me on my horse http://www.thepostm  INTERESTING STUFF the otters http://www.thepostm Hobo, the neglected German shepard http://www.thepostm how to get kissed on new years, guaranteed http://www.thepostm David Letterman http://www.thepostm Conan Obrien plays baseball, 1864 http://www.thepostm why women wear bras http://www.thepostm man vs girls gone wild http://www.thepostm Fred's convertible glided to a halt on the edge of a lonely country road. "I suppose," said his pretty but reluctant date, "you're going to pull the old 'out of gas' routine." "No," said Fred, "I'm going to pull the 'here after' routine." "The 'here after' routine what's that?", she wanted to know. "If you're not here after what I'm here after, you'll be here after I'm gone." ____________ A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of a very good one in Sweden, and went to him. The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said, "yes, I can put you right." After the operation, bandages off, stitches out, he goes to his hotel. The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon, and yells, "You swine, you gave me a woman's ears." "Well, an ear is an ear, it makes no difference whether it is a man's or a woman's." "You're wrong, I hear everything, but I don't understand a thing! ____________ An attractive young thing met her maiden aunt downtown for lunch one afternoon and during the meal, the older woman asked her niece to deposit a paycheck for her at the bank where the girl worked. On her way back from work, the girl was accosted by a purse snatcher. "Help, help," she screamed at a passing cop. "That man has taken my aunt's pay-he's taken my aunt's pay!" "OK, lady," said the cop. "Cut out the pig latin and tell me exactly what happened." _________ Snake, Rattled and Rolled http://www.funpagee I Hate People Who Hate Other People http://www.funpagee The Lord Works In Hilarious Ways http://www.funpagee Squirt First, Questions Later http://www.funpagee Record in Horror http://www.funpagee Hook, Line and Sticker http://www.funpagee While playing catch with his eight-year-old son Colton, Keith threw a little too hard. Colton misjudged the throw, and the ball smacked him hard in the groin. "Are you okay?" Keith asked. Colton, who was doubled up, replied, "Yeah. But I wish God had put our nuts in a safer place." ____________ Three boys were sitting on a fence talking. One of the little boys says to the other, "If you could have your body covered in anything, what would it be?" After thinking for a while the boy answers, "Silver." "Well, why?" "I could peel it off and buy that Honda over there." The boy then asks the other, "And you?" "Gold, I could peel it off and buy the BMW sitting over there." After a few seconds one of the boys ask the first boy, "Well, what about you?!?" The boy thought and thought and finally, said very calmly, "Hair." Well the other two boys were just sickened and asked..."HAIR? ____________ Chicken http://www.buffalos Dopey-Kenobi http://able2laff. That's all folks! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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