THE POSTMAN'S CORNER The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.  The One Touch Cordless Knife is the portable, lightweight kitchen tool that slices, dices and chops your favorite foods in seconds. Just one touch and the high powered motor moves the blades at 2,000 strokes per minute, so it slices through the toughest meats, fruits or vegetables. The Cordless Knife also glides gently through delicate foods such as breads or desserts. http://www.thepostm  No Money? No Worries! Finally, you can shop for anything you want with a FREE $1,000 Visa(R) Gift Card! Use your Visa(R) Gift Card however you want - on bills, gas, groceries, fashion, new appliances, entertainment and more! Act now to get your FREE $1,000 Visa(R) Gift Card today http://www.thepostm  You have been chosen to receive a FREE $250 McDonalds Gift Card! http://www.thepostm  indulge yourself with a $1000 Victoria's Secret Gift Card! http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! It was mudda's day once again last Friday. You all know that day, right? Some folks call it pay day. Others like myself are more realistic. That's when you get that lil ole check and you gotta pay dis mudda, dat mudda, and ever body else's mudda.!! I always have to laugh because at our house on mudda's day, or usually the day before "The war department." always asks the same question. "So, what are we gonna do tomorrow?" That's a funny question, because with our quiet and somewhat boring lives we pretty much accomplish the same things every mudda's day. And have been for the last 30 years or so. Figger out which muddas we gonna pay, and which muddas we gonna skip till next time. Then a trip to the grocery store. That tells you you,re exciting, when Friday night rolls around and the big night out is a trip to Aldi's. If we are lucky we usually manage a bite to eat at one of our favorite spots, this time it was Steak n Shake. I splurged and got me a big huge shake, a wonderful thing for a diabetic. oh well. Sometimes we are even lucky enough to be able to afford to go to a movie. Which we will probably do this time, we just ran out of time last Friday night. so it will have to wait until another day off for her. Most folks would probably say our life is pretty dull. Same woman for almost 30 years, same house for over 25. I remember when we bought the place. We were young. no credit, no money, just a lot of babies. My buddy called me up one Friday night about 10 pm and says, "You still looking for a house?" I said, "yes." but then explained our dilemma. He came over with a quit claim deed. I gave him 10 bux down and signed papers and assumed his mortgage. You could do that back then without a credit check. Went up to Uhaul the next day and rented a 22 foot truck and moved in that night. Filled the truck up 3 times and that was a long long time ago. I think now that if we ever had to leave this place, I would probably just light a match to it. Nobody would really want it anyway. It ain't worth nothin now that its paid for. I musta had rocks in my head for buying the dump. But you know, there is something comforting and enjoyable about "same" ... I think sometimes people live so busy lives in the fast lane, they don't take the time to appreciate how lucky they are. I like "same." its comforting. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS nudist colony http://www.thepostm droppin shit http://www.thepostm an emergency http://www.thepostm now I remember http://www.thepostm a tough job http://www.thepostm LETS GO TO THE MOVIES Rachel Rae corn porn http://www.thepostm when its ok to pee your pants http://www.thepostm number rythms http://www.thepostm the word "fuck"-wav file http://www.thepostm the boy friend http://www.thepostm  INTERESTING STUFF shoes for Bush http://www.thepostm the inauguration http://www.thepostm invisible sidewalk http://www.thepostm hot air balloon http://www.thepostm The teacher asked the students to bring one electrical appliance for "Show & Tell," and the next day every kid had something. The teacher asks Wendy: What did you bring? "I brought a Walkman." "And what is it for?" "You can listen to music with it!" "That's nice Wendy. What did you bring Kenny?" "I brought a 'lectrical can opener, it opens cans!" "Well done, Kenny. Umm, Johnny, I see you didn't bring anything!" "Yes, I did. It's in the hall." So the entire class goes into the hallway. "Umm, Johnny, what is that?" "It's a heart / lung machine hospitals use to keep your heart going." "Whoa. What did your father say about you bringing this?" "He said, 'AAAARRRGGGH! ____________ The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked "Did I just see you swallow something?" "Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver. "Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman. "Yep, when I saw your flashing light, I knew I was gonna get fucked." ____________ A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Man, I'm on the wrong bus!" ___________ Q: What did one eye say to the other eye? A: Between you and me something smells! Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator? A: I think I'm coming down with something. ____________ A girl goes to the gynecologist for the first time. She's up in the stirrups, and the doctor notices she's trembling. He says: "You're nervous, aren't you?" "Yes, it's my first visit to a gynechologist. "Would you like me to numb you down there?" "Oh, yes please." He sticks his face between her legs and goes: "Num, num, num . . ." ____________ Little Johnny has to write a story about someone in his family that does something amazing. The next day, he returns and tells the class that his father eats lightbulbs. "How do you know that?" asks his teacher. "I heard him say it. He and Mom were in the bedroom and he said 'If you turn out the light, I'll eat that thing.'" ____________ A farmer plows up an old copper lamp. He takes the lamp back to his farm house and begins to polish it up when out pops a genie. "Master," says the genie, "I will grant you 3 wishes." The farmer thinks for a bit and then says, "I want a face as handsome as Elvis." "As you wish, master." BOOM! His face transforms into a very handsome face. "Next, I would like you to fill my living room with money," says the farmer. "As you wish, master." BOOM! His living room fills with money. The farmer thinks about his third wish, as he is thinking he looks out the window and begins to grin. "Genie," says the farmer, "Give me 'one' like the horse up on the hill." The genie also grins, "As you wish, master." BOOM! The farmer looks down to see a huge vagina form between his legs. ____________ A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner people." A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner... NOW!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," chuckled the vet, "especially since this is a bus stop." ____________ BUFFALO Bill PAPA Thorn Truth in labeling http://able2laff. Where DID we park.... http://able2laff. Accident http://able2laff. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
*To visit your group "PostmansCorner" on the web.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
.
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment