Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Generally when someone famous passes I may get one letter concerning
their death. Today I got seven regarding the death of Ricardo
Montalban. I think it is worth mentioning that Ricardo was Mexican
having never applied for American citizenship but he appeared in
virtually every TV series I can think of when I
was a child. His career spanned 7 decades even though he
was confined to a wheelchair because of surgery that was done
to repair a back injury that he received in the fifties when he was a
regular in shows like Gunsmoke, Wagon Train, and Death Valley
Days. I never tried to connect an actor with a role back in those
days so one of my first memories of him as Ricardo Montalban was when
he was spokesman for Chrysler and the Cordoba. About that time he
became Mr. Roarke on Fantasy Island and then in the
early eighties he portrayed Khan in Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan.
Those are my fondest memories even though he worked up till last year
doing speaking roles in animated cartoons like Dora. I wonder if his
casket will be lined with, Rich Corinthian leather?"
Enjoy the chips and try to stay warm.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bad Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bad: You can't find your vibrator.
Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.
Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.
Worse: You're in it.
Bad: Your children are sexually active.
Worse: With each other.
Bad: Your husband's a cross dresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.
Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism.
Worse: As a sacrifice.
Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.
Worse: She's a lawyer.
Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
Worse: For another woman.
Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
Worse: To enter a convent.
Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting.
Worse: She implicates you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Spider man at the drivethrough
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showoff
http://www.thepostm
thank goodness!
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Legit?
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Laptop Dancing
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Male Pill
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Football Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
10 SIGNS YOU WATCH TOO MUCH FOOTBALL
10. Before sex, you flip a coin to see who will receive.
9. You've been banned from the A&P for spiking melons.
8. To feel closer to some of your favorite players, you tear the
cartilage in your knee.
7. The kids bring home a good report card and you dump Gatorade
on 'em.
6. Most humans: 75% water, you: 75% chip dip.
5. During sex, you use a play clock.
4. You pay $22 million to have Deion Sanders shovel off your driveway.
3. For the last two months, you've been wearing nothing but a cup.
2. You fell in love with your wife because she looks like John Madden.
1. After sex, you go for the 2-point conversion.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young women visited her eye doctor complaining of failing
eyesight.
The doctor sat her in front of a standard eye chart. Doctor: "Can
you
read the bottom line?" Girl: "No." "Can you read the center line?"
"No." "Can you read the large top line" "No."Can you even see the
chart?" "No." The doctor is clearly frustrated and whips his penis
out
of his pants. "Can you see this?" "Of course!" "Well, there's your
problem - you're cock-eyed!"
This Jewish rock star went to his tailor and asked for a new pair of
pants that he could wear on the stage: "I want these pants to be
skin-
tight, I mean SKIN-TIGHT. I want them to see my equipment down
there."
Said the tailor, "Don't be worrying. Not only will they know about
your equipment, they'll be able to tell your religion."
A slutty girl is flirting with 2 guys in a chatroom. The first guy
asks, "What state are you from?" While at the same time the second
guy
asks, "What do you do for a living?" To satisfy them both, She
replies, "Idaho."
Large cats can be dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anyone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Football Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
FOOTBALL MOVES IN SEX
Hike = Up the rear
Reverse = 69
Sack = Girl takes control and gets frisky
2pt. conversion = multiple orgasms
Prevent Defense = Condom/protection
Face Mask = guy pulls girl head down to blow him
Shotgun = Touchdown in a car
Two minute warning = Guy gives the girl a warning before he blows his
load.
Holding = Cuddling
Superbowl = Wedding or Prom night
Huddle = Multiple participants
Madden '99 = Cyber sex
Instant replay = When you tape the two of you having sex Illegal
Use of the hands = Masturbation
Ball Hog = Slut
Onside Kick = Making up after a fight
Double Header = Two mates in the same night
Tight End = Virgin
Wide Receiver = Girl that's loose
False Start = Guy/Girl gets shut down (denied)
Pass Interference = Some stupid kid interrupts before you can get some
Fumble = cheating (problem in the relationship)
Putting it through the uprights = self explanatory
Special Teams = Prostitute/Gigolo
Unsportsmanlike Conduct = Bragging to your friends about your
activities
Double Coverage = Two condoms
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bet Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two farmers, Joe and Bob, lived as neighbors, but didn't like each
other much. In 1989, there was a period of -30 degree centigrade cold
and Bob and Joe had nothing to do because of it. So they bet a bottle
of vodka that can sit out on the window ledge the longest with a bare
ass.
After two hours Bob's wife came home and asked Bob, "What are you
doing?"
Bob explained and she said, "Come on, you will only freeze your ass
off."
Bob refused as he wanted to win the bet.
Then his wife got an idea. "Lets change places when Joe is looking
the other way." Bob's wife put on the same kind of pullover and cap
and traded places with Bob.
Half an hour later Joe's wife came home and asked him, "What are you
doing?"
Joe told her and said, "I am determined to win the bottle!"
"You are crazy. Come on in."
"Certainly not, I am already on the winning side. Bob lost his balls
half an hour ago!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gas Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Legend has it that football great Bronco Nagurski opened a gas
station upon retirement from the NFL. A visitor to town asked whether
or not he was successful.
"Once someone gets gas from Bronco, they never go anyplace else", a
local told him.
"Is the service that good?" asked the visitor.
"No, not really." said the local.
"Does he have the best price?"
"About the same as everybody else."
"Then the gas must be better."
"No, it's just regular gas."
"Then why does everyone keep coming back to Bronco?"
"Because when Bronco Nagurski puts your gas cap on, no one but Bronco
Nagurski can get it back off."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Early Morning Dew
http://silverandgol
Humor In Religion 2
http://www.shangral
Magic of Friendship
http://www.carolspo
R.I.P. Ricardo Montalban
http://www.imdb.
http://en.wikipedia
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Surfin Surfari
Spice Encyclopedia
http://www.theepice
Decode Your VIN Tag
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High Tech Toys
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Crafts: Serving Tray
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Music
http://wwwsweetiesp
RU Botted http://www.trendsec
US/tools/security_
d
Valentine Backs
http://norbert26.
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.bowwow.
Kitty Korner how old is your cat really
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Movie Chips
Achmed Jingle Bombs
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AH L'Amour
http://www.buffalos
Amy G. Kazochee
http://www.buffalos
Bad To The Bone
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Lightening Strike Caught On Tape
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Little Belgian Lad Saluting Canadian Troops
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Lizard
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Loading A Bike
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says, "If you keep on behaving like this, you'll lose ALL your
friends"
************
A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Send me a brother."
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
************
What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress.
************
What's the difference between stress, tension, and panic? Stress is
when wife is pregnant. Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant. Panic
is when both are pregnant.
************
Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, and my mom
fainted, dad had a heart attack, & our neighbor ran away.
************
A woman asks man who is traveling with six children,
"Are all these kids yours??"
The man replies sarcastically,
"No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints."
************
A young boy asks his Dad,
"What is the difference between confident and confidential?
says, "You are my son. I'm confident about that. Your friend over
there is also my son. That's confidential!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
New Member
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Massage Chairs
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Graphics
http://able2laff.
Airport security
http://able2laff.
gif
Alien holocaust
http://able2laff.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you could save money on gas and help stop global warming at the
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
NEWSWIRE--A college student is auctioning her virginity; bids exceed
3.7 milllion dollars.
This gal ain't what some would call "nice"
When sex is for sale, that's called "vice"
Career path she's chosen
You know, I'm supposing
So now we're just arguing price
This whore, to be very precise
Is naught but a young Heidi Fleiss
She may find deflowering
To be quite empowering
She can't, I will bet, do it twice
(Gary Hallock)
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fellow passed a house with a little red light burning in front, so
he stepped inside. There was nothing in sight and nothing there but
an
empty bare hallway, with two doors reading, "Over 35" and "Under
35."
He decided to be truthful and entered the door that said, "Over 35."
He found himself in another empty hallway, this one with two doors
that read, "Over 8 inches" and "Under 8 inches." Truthful again, he
went through the "Under 8 inches" door and found himself in another
empty hall, with two more doors reading, "Once a night" and "Over 4
times a night." Still wanting to be truthful, he entered the door
marked " Once a night" and found himself back out on the street. The
moral of this story is: "Always tell the truth and you'll never get
screwed."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tell me something," asked Freddie, "how many cookies
can you eat on an empty stomach, Little Johnny?"
Little Johnny scratched his lizard pecker head and said,
"Well, five, I think."
"Wrong," said Jon. "You can only eat just one. After
that, your stomach isn't empty any more! Gotcha!"
Little Johnny was impressed so he decided to pull the
joke on his sister, Judi, when he got home.
"Hey, Sis, how many cookies can you eat on an empty
stomach?"
Judi thought for a minute or two (it takes awhile to get
those two brain cells to fire together) and said, "Two."
Little Johnny was dejected. "Aw, if you'd said *FIVE*, I
had a GREAT joke for you!"
Karl
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Warrior AK-47 Airsoft Rifle is an awesome toy for the holidays!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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