THE POSTMAN'S CORNER  A portion of proceeds from sales of the Pink Ped Egg™ goes directly to the National Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Only $10! Order now and receive a Bonus Pink Ped Egg™ and a bottle of Silky Soles Foot Cream! The Pink Ped Egg™ is the revolutionary foot file that you've seen nationally advertised on TV. It's the newest and fastest way to make your feet feel smooth and healthy with NO MESS! The Pink Ped Egg™ features: * Precision Micro-Files: Stainless Steel and Safe to the Touch * Ergonomic Design * Self Contained: No Mess * Gentle and Easy to Use http://www.thepostm  George Foreman's Life-Shake is designed to provide your body the complete nutrition it needs in just one easy delicious shake a day. Loaded with essential vitamins, minerals, proteins, enzymes, and antioxidants. You will feel increased energy levels, and keep yourself satisfied until your next meal. Available in Vanilla and Chocolate flavors, it provides over 100 vital nutrients in just one serving! What it does: *Boost your metabolism * High protein, good source of fiber * Healthy low glycemic carbohydrates Try it Now Free for 7 Days just pay S&H http://www.thepostm  Free Family Guy T-shirt Giveaway Would you like a FREE Family Guy T-shirt by participating in a special promotion? The FREE Family Guy T-shirt could be yours! We'll send you once you complete our short survey http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS we always enjoyed a good practical joke when I was in school. The principal drove a little VW bug and one day it happened to be the target of our mischieviousness. A large number of us all picked the little car up and carried it inside the gymnasium where we had lunch. The principal never did find out who was responsible for the prank, but it did look kinda funny sitting there in the middle of the floor surrounded by lunch tables. He decided to do a corperate punishment and sent all members of the highschool, freshmen through seniors, out to the football field, each armed with a pair of scissors, We were told to "mow the lawn." It was a nice spring day and it got us out of classes so we really didn't mind that much. The next day we decided to plot our revenge. We had a small atrium in the middle of the building. So, during the night, we went and got ourselves a ladder, climbed up the building, and dropped down into the atrium and taped playboy centerfolds up on the glass windows. But our best idea came from Gary Hanson. His daddy had a portable welder and Several of us decided that we were going to "borrow" appropriate it for the evening. And we succesfully spotwelded each and every door together so all the entrances were locked down tight as a drum the next day. School was cancelled that day and we spent most of it fishing. Not sure how it happened, but we got caught with the welder gag. I figured that someone probably squeeled and ratted us out. But the truth probably was not hard to figure, since there were only one or two folks in the area who owned welders. The principal was really a nice guy and I do not know why it was that we felt it necessary to carry on a crusade against him. Perhaps it was the "down with the establishment" concept that was popular during that era. But most likely it was cuz we were just little hellions. The final colossas with our ongoing battle with the principal came when the FHA sponsored their Sadie Hawkins dance. We had managed to catch a number of pigeons earlier that week, and during the dance we decided to release them in the gym. For several weeks it was common to be splattered with bird doo doo while watching the Senior varsity basketball game. And I do seem to recall spending a great deal of time with a mop and a bucket cleaning up the gym. We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman The Comics no honey http://www.thepostm job responsibility http://www.thepostm the bailout http://www.thepostm for men who have arthritis http://www.thepostm US Airforce http://www.thepostm a glock with a drum http://www.thepostm happy birthday http://www.thepostm ____________  POWER POINT DISPLAYS a woman, or a car? the floods in Washington http://www.thepostm peaceful dreams http://www.thepostm what a wonderful world http://www.thepostm Hello http://www.thepostm Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. The thin one leaned over and Said, 'Life is so boring. We never have any fun any more. For $10 I'd take my clothes off And streak through that stupid flower show!' 'You're on!' said the other old lady, holding up a $10 bill. The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, Completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) Through the front door of the flower show. Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, Followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. The smiling and naked Old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd. 'What happened?' asked her waiting friend. 'I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement. ____________ A boy walks up to his dad and ask him "Dad what is that thing between a girls legs that has hair on it?" His dad said, "Well son that is called a vagina." His son thought about that for a minute and then ask, "OK then, what is that little thing that looks like a really small penis in a woman's vagina?" "Well they call that a clitoris son," said the father. "OK dad, just one more question... What is that really smooth peice of skin that is below a woman's vagina?" The boys dad thinks about this for a minute and says, "Well son, I don't know the medical term for it but I just call it a chin rest." ____________ As men age, we start seeing more and more of the medical world and its employees, which nowadays seems to have more and more women as our Physicians and Therapists ETC. And in this case a new Urologist for me. My family Doctor just recently referred me to a just out of medical school female urologist. I saw her yesterday, and she's absolutely drop-dead gorgeous as well as unbelievably sexy. She told me that I must stop masturbating. I asked her why, and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you...... ____________ A family was visiting an Indian reservation when they happen upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop. The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing. The tribesman began to speak... "Woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog, in late model, four door station wagon, traveling at 65 m.p.h." "That's amazing" exclaimed the father. "You can tell all of that by just listening to the ground"? "No", said the old tribesman. "They just ran over me five minutes ago"! ____________ "The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born." - Elayne Boosler ____________ A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs. Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts. On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store... What were you thinking? Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English! ____________ BUFFALO Bill Left Lungage http://www.buffalos PAPA Thorn Safety Warning http://able2laugh. THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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