THE POSTMAN'S CORNER  Stop using ordinary mixers and blenders. Use the same mixer the professionals use. With more size and power your FREE Kitchen Aid(R) Pro5(TM) will help you serve your best! http://thepostmansc  Turbo Bag is an innovative, travel laptop bag. Fly through airport checkpoints in a breeze while never removing your computer from the bag. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3 - just unzip, unfold and pass through! Don't wait, order today and receive a FREE TurboLapDesk! http://www.thepostm  EZ Combs - Stretchable Double Combs Create dozens of dazzling hairstyles instantly with your very own set of EZ Combs. What are they? EZ Combs are what they say they are -- EZ. * Simply slide in one end of the EZ Comb. * Stretch the EZ Comb around your hair. * Slide in the other side, and there you have it. A Perfect Hairstyle in 3 EZ steps. Create a variety of hairstyles for all types of occaisions, including Weddings & Formal Events, the Office, Nights out on the Town, Working Out, and even in your bed. EZ Combs are soft & comfortable. http://www.thepostm  Entertain yourself, family and friends with a new 52" LG LCD 1080p HDTV, a $2,400 value - yours FREE! Features include: 3 'AV Modes' for exceptional digital viewing, an Invisible Speaker System, Clear Voice Technology and Full HD 1080p Resolution! Act now to get your new LG HDTV for FREE today! http://www.thepostm GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS There was a lot of snow on the ground, and so, when it was "that time" for my dog Turk, I went out with the shovel. The drifts were a little higher than he was, and so I shovelled a path to his favorite spot. He happens to enjoy "marking" my son's basketball hoop. for some reason. Now, normally I do not pamper the pup, but he always seems cold, and like a typical chiauwawa, he is always shivering. So it was a gesture of kindness from his master to his best friend. To make a long story short, instead of using the path I had just shovveled out for him, the dumb mutt hopped through the deep stuff, and apparently, he thought that deeper was better. Must be kindof like a kid and mud puddles. You dress him all up in raincoat, hat and boots, and sure enough, the kid has to jump in the middle of every puddle he sees. go figger:) We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS management says http://www.thepostm new inventions http://www.thepostm all in the mind http://www.thepostm want your change back? http://www.thepostm I am the new senator http://www.thepostm advantage of being married http://www.thepostm just in case http://www.thepostm difference between good and great http://www.thepostm stupid answers http://www.thepostm incredible landing http://www.thepostm the dog and the motorcycle http://www.thepostm comedy http://www.thepostm  INTERESTING STUFF a meteor falls http://www.thepostm Kermit the frog http://www.thepostm Sarah Palin fights back http://www.thepostm the Assumption song http://www.thepostm A man stubbed his toe so badly he decided to go to the doctor. When he arrived at the office, the nurse directed him to remove his clothes and wait in the next room. "I just hurt my toe," complained the man. "Why do I need to take off my clothes?" "Everyone who sees the doctor has to undress," explained the nurse politely. "It's our policy." "Well, I think it's a stupid policy! Making me undress just to look at my toe! Geeez!" From the next room another man's voice piped up. . . "That's nothing! I just came here to fix the telephone!" ____________ Four old-timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round. His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early Christmas morning." Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course. The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it." Number 2 guy says, "I spent a ton, too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures." Number 3 guy says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual." They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they have lost their minds. "I can't believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the butt and said, 'Well babe, Merry Christmas ! it's a great morning for sex or golf ' and she said, "Take a sweater..." ____________ Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Angel the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had... an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people, they have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say! ____________ A furrier from the United States went to Helsinki, Finland to purchase furs. The first night in Helsinki he met a gorgeous blonde named Astrid, and before long the two were alone in his hotel room. The encounter turned physical and soon their lovemaking session was complete. After they were finished, then the man attempted to chat with Astrid -- but it wasn't going well. He said, "I'm afraid my Finnish isn't too good." Astrid replied, "Your foreplay ain't all that hot either!" ____________ Australian for Dumb http://tinyurl. IED Explosion http://www.buffalos Mexican's In Muslims Out http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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