Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I just got my gas bill for last month and even though it is spread
out over 12 months, 450.00 for one months worth of gas is
ridiculous. Heating cooking and hot water last year cost me
2400.00. I am kind of stuck at the moment as to what I can do
to lessen that bill too as I am running the heat about 4 degrees
less than last winter ( Don't worry, no frostbite 71 degrees vice
75 degrees) but my various aches and pains can't handle 68
degrees any longer especially after growing up with wood heat
where everybody ran their houses at 80 degrees.
The plans for new insulation, siding, storm windows, and furnaces
fell through for last fall but may still get done in the spring. I
don't
own the place or I would have figured a way to bore a hole through
the wall and install a pellet stove a long time ago. Nancy has one
and was showing me the ads online for machinery to cut grind and
compress pellets and a person could have a set up for burning
scrub wood or chips from like a tree service for 4000.00 including
the stove.
Electricity is fairly cheap up here but it makes it only an
alternative
as the cost is the same unless you have 8 inches of insulation and
as I have said before this hasn't been a particularly cold winter, we
have just gotten used to warmer winters over the past few years.
Oh well could be worse, I could be typing in mittens heh heh, Enjoy
the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Flying Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy sitting in Danny's Bar at Singapore's Changi Airport noticed a
very
beautiful woman sitting next to him.
He thought to himself, Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight
attendant. But which airline does she work for?
Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta
slogan:
"Love to fly and it shows?"
She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to
himself,
"Oh shit, she doesn't work for Delta".
A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned
towards her
again, "Something special in the air?" She gave him the same confused
look.
He mentally kicked himself, and scratched Singapore Airlines off the
list.
Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan: "Smooth as Silk."
This time the woman turned on him "What the f XXk do you want?"
The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair,and said,
"Ahhhhh, QANTAS !!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Job offer
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Attention!
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Slippage
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Man In A Can
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Garage Sale
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wanker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A cop was walking his beat through a back alley when he
caught a young boy having a wank in the long grass.
"What do you think you're doing?" the cop said.
"What does it look like? I'm having a wank," the kid replied.
"You'd best be careful, boy." the cop warned. "When we catch
a young fella doing that, we cut his dick off, stretch and dry it,
put
a leather thong through one end to make a police baton out of it."
"And I bet I know what you do when you catch a girl doing it." said
the
young boy.
"And what's that?" asked the cop.
"I bet you cut out her cunt, dry and stretch it, then put it in a blue
uniform!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Castrated Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Doc," says Little Johnny, "I want to be castrated."
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.
"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want
to have it done," replies Little Johnny. "But have you thought it
through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation
and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life
forever!" "I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind --
either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another
doctor." "Well, OK," says the doctor, "But it's against my better
judgment!" So Little Johnny has his operation, and the next day he is
up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor
with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is
walking exactly the same way. "Hi there," says Little Johnny, "It
looks as if you've just had the same operation as me." "Well," said
the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would
like to be circumcised.
screamed, "Shit! THAT'S the word!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Time Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A crusty old Cavalry Colonel found himself at a gala event downtown,
hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of
extremely
young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the
colonel
for conversation. She said, "Excuse me, sir, but you seem to be a very
serious man. Are you this way all the time, or is something bothering
you?"
"No," the colonel said, "just serious by nature."
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "it
looks
like you have seen a lot of action."
The colonel's short reply was, "Yep, a lot of action."
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation,
said, "You
know, you should lighten up a little - relax and enjoy yourself."
The colonel just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the
wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"
The colonel looked at her and replied, "1955."
She said, "Well there you go; you really need to chill out and quit
taking
everything so seriously - I mean, no sex since 1955, isn't that a
little
extreme?"
The colonel, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact
voice, "Oh,
I don't know. It's only 21:30 now!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, so the Viagra my boyfriend took was still having an effect
hours later -- does that give him the right to go running to the
emergency room asking to see the head nurse?
I used to be a necrophiliac sadist who was into bestiality but I
stopped as it was too much like flogging a dead horse.
The waitress at the Greek beanery married the boss, and they seemed
quite happy. But one day she sued him for divorce. Her charge: He
was
indifferent.
I think condoms should come with a warning label: "May contain nut
products."
What does Popeye do to keep his favorite tool from rusting?
Sticks it in Olive Oyl.
What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?
Well Hung.
What do you call a prostitute with her hand in her panties?
Self employed.
What do you get if you cross a whore and a computer?
A fuckin' know-it-all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Testicle Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an
oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears
to sponge his hands and feet. "Nurse", he mumbles
from behind the mask, are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't
know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet"
He struggles again to ask, nurse, are my testicles black?"
Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his
gown, holds his penis in one hand and his
testicles in her other hand and takes a close
look, and say's, "there's nothing wrong with
them!"
Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and
replies," that was very nice but, are... my...
test...results.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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move the nozzle up and down. It's easy - even fun!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Poem For Jimmy
http://www.silveran
Patriotic Song Via Allen
http://www.bornagai
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
http://ministry-
Walking In Power
http://www.shangral
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Surfin Surfari
End Of The World Via Day
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Lay Off Daily Via Dianne
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Hybrid Car Batteries
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Cost Of A Child
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Cedge's HTML Cheat Sheet
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Color Chart
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Groundhog Animations
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You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://babylissa.
Cats
http://www.paws-
Kitty Korner
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Movie Chips
Well Trained Dog
http://www.buffalos
We've Been Had
http://www.buffalos
What He Really Said
http://www.buffalos
Why Women Stay Single
http://www.buffalos
Wishing Well
http://www.buffalos
Boxing Match
http://www.buffalos
Brownies
http://www.buffalos
Camera 21
http://www.buffalos
Capoeira Fighter
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Cell Phone Popcorn
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Being a premature ejaculator has its advantages. I made ten sex
line
phone calls last month, and the total bill is just two dollars.
"There's a new café in New York City where guys
go in and they can scan profiles of women who are
already in the place, and if they find a woman
that's interesting to them, for the price of a
cover charge, the staff will arrange an
introduction.
Didn't that used to be called a whorehouse? - Jay Leno
After an hour or so, the doctor looks at Mrs.
Jones and says the following: "Mrs. Jones,
overall you are very healthy for a 45 year old.
There is however, only one problem. You are 40
pounds overweight and bordering on obese. I would
strongly suggest that you diet now to save any
complications in later years."
She looks sternly at him and says, "I demand a second opinion".
"OK" he says, "you're fucking ugly as well!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Shoes Under stores twelve pairs of shoes under your bed, saving you
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.thepostm
http://www.thepostm
http://www.thepostm
Things That Will Never Happen In Your Lifetime #42
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
How To Make Love
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
T-Shirt Shop
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ode To My Ex
I do not want you anywhere
Not in my house
Not in my chair
Not outside
Inside
Up the stair
Not in my car
Not in my shop
Not anywhere you slimy sot
Not sitting
Standing
Laying down
Not here
Not there
Not anywhere
Not on my porch
Not in my yard
Not by my truck
You lousy fuck
So stay away
You dirty Louse
I do not want you at my house
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and rechargeable
electric shaver.
The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
battery shaver.
With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In 1983, China set out to teach birth control to
its rural population. Doctors appeared on
television and demonstrated the use of condoms
and birth control pills.
A mere year later, birth rates INCREASED and the
program was declared a "complete fiasco."
After a survey was taken, the cause of the
program's failure became apparent. 79% of MEN
were taking birth control pills, and 98% of men
were putting condoms on their fingers--just like
they saw in the TV demonstrations.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slim Clip is the amazing new double-sided money clip that holds up to
30 bills on one side and up to six credit cards on the other.
Slim Clip is engineered from durable stainless steel, so now matter
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It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
If it ever breaks or bends, we'll send you a brand new one for Free,
no questions asked.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whether or not you are a country music fan, these are truly the words
of
a deep thinker, and a highly intelligent person. So simple, yet so
profound! Read the words of wisdom from that famous philosopher ,
iconic
country and western singer, on his 75th birthday: (Willie Nelson)
"I have outlived my pecker".
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Order from the Official TV Website Here:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1512
FP
Katie: Why do you have tears Sandi?
Sandi: I was reading this by Daddy.
Rudy: Read it to us Sandi..
Sandi: Okay
Order then Chaos
Your life is orderly, your days are set. Your routine is fixed.
Just two little words can turn your world upside down. Just two
little words. You may hear them, you may see the words, but the
words are a door to chaos.
The words... Free Puppies.
We got out of our car to look at them .. the words to describe
them...all loving, balls of energy, excitement, fur. One was shy,
one was more assertive, one was the runt, and the rest were
average. They were going to be large dogs judging by their feet.
We melted... we turned and got into our car and left... not yet,
not this time. Probably next time...
Free Puppies..
Katie: Waaah!!!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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