Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
For about the past week I have received notes from readers
that they were having trouble with all of the links opening to the
same movie. I didn't have a clue what the problem was because
whenever I clicked on the link, the movie being played matched
the title. Finally last night I called Nancy who is in charge of
movies
and who also receives much of the same mail as I do as co-owner
of the lists ( Hint if you want to complain about Sis don't send it
to
the owner address). Nancy said she had figured out the problem
days ago. Nancy has trained her youngest how to build pages and
bribes him into doing so by letting him use her car for dates, etc.
As is to be expected from an 18 year old he sometimes takes
shortcuts and when he was working from the template he was
updating the addresses in the automatic player but not for the
one that said click to download. He has been told to repair the bad
links but that is all connected to his transportation requirements.
Famous Birthdays ... You may add your names to the list if you were
born in Feb
February
1. Lisa Marie Presley, Clark Gable
2. Christie Brinkley, Graham Nash, Farrah Fawcett
3. Fran Tarkenton, Norman Rockwell
4. Charles Lindbergh, Dan Quayle, Lawrence Taylor
5. Hank Aaron, Roger Staubach, Adlai Stevenson Jr.
6. Ronald Reagan, Babe Ruth, Axl Rose
7. Garth Brooks, Sinclair Lewis
8. Nick Nolte, Ted Koppel, Audrey Meadows
9. Carole King, William H. Harrison, Joe Pesci
10. Greg Norman, John Calipari, Mark Spitz
11. Jennifer Aniston, Thomas Edison
12. Abraham Lincoln, Arsenio Hall, Charles Darwin
13. Chuck Yaeger, Bess Truman
14. Drew Bledsoe, Jimmy Hoffa, Florence Henderson
15. Susan B. Anthony, Jaromir Jagr, Galileo Galilei
16. John McEnroe, Sony Bono, Ice-T
17. Michael Jordan, Jim Brown, Chaim Potok
18. Yoko Ono, Vanna White, Matt Dillon, John Travolta
19. Justine Bateman, Eddie Arcaro, Smokey Robinson
20. Bobby Unser, Charles Barkley, Cindy Crawford
21. David Geffen, Barbara Jordan
22. George Washington, Julius Erving, Drew Barrymore
23. Peter Fonda
24. Joe Lieberman, Steven Jobs, Enrico Caruso
25. George Harrison, Sally Jessy Rafael
26. Michael Bolton, Tony Randall, Jackie Gleason
27. Chelsea Clinton, Elizabeth Taylor, John Steinbeck
28. Eric Lindros, Mario Andretti, Bernadette Peters
29. Jimmy Dorsey
Thanks to Bonnie for those.
Enjoy the chips...... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bear Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy, out hunting in Alaska, accidentally shoots a polar bear.
Realising his mistake, he reports the incident to the local ranger.
A week later, he gets a letter in the mail, telling him that he is
being taken to court by the park service. Arriving at court, he
explains to the judge what happened, and the judge comes to a
decision.
"As you didn't kill this protected species intentionally, I don't
intend to send you to prison", the judge says. "However, it is still
a
serious error on your part, and I intend to deal with you by way of
a
fine, based upon the body weight of the animal".
"For every one pound of body weight, you will be fined $10".
Consulting his records, the judge finds the weight of the bear, as
recorded by the park services, and calls for a calculator. After a
minute of two, he calls the hunter to the bench, and gives his
judgment; a fine of $9,000.
The representative of the park services jumps to his feet, and
approaches the judge. "Your Honor", he says, "With the greatest
respect, I believe you've made a mistake in your calculations"
"We weighed the animal shortly after it was shot, and it weighed a
total of 1000 pounds". "Surely, based on that measurement, the fine
should be $10,000".
The judge looks at the ranger, and says, "I made a calculation,
taking
into consideration, the animals' weight, minus its two front paws".
Looking rather confused, the ranger asks, "but why did you not
include
the front paws in your calculation?
"Because", the judge replies, "Every American has the right to bear
arms!"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
what I miss
http://www.thepostm
the golf tour
http://www.thepostm
an old indian said
http://www.thepostm
Taking Out The Sting
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Sixth Day
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Wear A Bra!
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Senior Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their
soon-to-be new store.
As yet the store wasn't ready with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other'I bet any minute now some old coot is going to
walk by
put his face to the window and ask what we're selling.'
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when sure enough a curious
senior walked
up to the window, had a peek and in a soft voice asked "What are you
sellin' here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically "We're selling ass-holes."
Without skipping a beat the old timer said "You're doing well. Only
two left."
Seniors - don't mess with them!
Bill Johnson
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Turbo Bag - Friendly Airport Travel Bag
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ole and Sven Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks,
and go to
Hell. The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.
He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?" Ole
replies,
'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Michigan, da land of snow an ice,
an
ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, don't ya
know.'
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns
up the
heat even more. When he returns to the room of the two guys from
Michigan's
Upper Peninsula, the devil finds them in light jackets and hats,
grilling
Walleye and drinking beer.
The devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in
abject
misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?' Sven replies,
'Vell,
ya know, ve don't git too much varm veather up dere at da Soo, so
ve've
yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather's dis nice.'
The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight.
Finally he
comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they
have been
cold all their lives.
The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. The next
morning, the
temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and
people
are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash
their
teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven.
He gets
there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and
mittens. They
are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad
men. The
devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat
you're
happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong
with you
two?'
They both look at the devil in surprise and say, "Vell, don't ya
know; if
hell is froze over, dat must mean da Lions von da Super Bowl!
Dianne
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Turn anything into a flashlight and never be left in the dark again!
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Perfect for cell phones (since you always carry it around)
But also great on Ipods, Cameras, Wallets, Closets and anywhere you
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The catlite is the perfect flashlight, ready when you need it and
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You'll wonder how you ever lived without your Catlite!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stiff Drink Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol Leads to Better Sex
Rather than damaging a man's sexual performance, a good, stiff drink
actually improves a man's sexual prowess in the bedroom. Australian
researchers found that men who drink report as many as 30 percent
fewer problems than those who didn't drink at all.
Dr. Kew-Kim Chew, of Western Australia's Keogh Institute for Medical
Research told London's Sunday Telegraph that men who drank within
safe, moderate guidelines seemed to have the best erectile function.
In Chew's study of 1,580 Australian men, even binge drinkers
functioned better sexually than those who never drank.
"We found that, compared to those who have never touched alcohol,
many people do benefit from some alcohol, including some people who
drink outside the guidelines," Chew said.
The study found that low risk drinkers - those who consumed up to
twenty drinks a week spread over five days - had the fewest sexual
problems. Those who drank on weekends only and those who were binge
drinkers suffered lower rates of erectile dysfunction than those who
drank only one day a week or drank none at all. Men who performed
the poorest were heavy drinkers who had stopped drinking and those
who smoked or had heart disease.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!
The Titan Peeler is the world's best peeler. Made of long lasting,
dishwasher safe Stainless steel it has no equal. Long lasting blades
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What you get
*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
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*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
vegetables.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leave Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops. One man he passed
sported an enormous erection.
"Sergeant-Major!
compassionate home leave."
"Yessir," the Sgt. Major replied.
A few months later the same thing occurred with the same
man. "Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days compassionate
home leave," the Colonel barked.
A few months later, same guy, same problem. The Colonel is
angry. "Sergeant-Major! Haven't we given this man two compassionate
home leaves?"
"Yessir," the Sgt. Major replies.
"Then what's his problem, Sgt. Major?" the Colonel asks.
The Sgt. Major salutes and says, "Sir. It's you he's fond of."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The One Touch Cordless Knife is the portable, lightweight
kitchen tool that slices, dices and chops your favorite foods
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moves the blades at 2,000 strokes per minute, so it slices
through the toughest meats, fruits or vegetables. The
Cordless Knife also glides gently through delicate foods
such as breads or desserts.
Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Travel Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Signs You Have A Bad Travel Agent
- Gets you cheap airfare then asks, "You know how to fly a
737, right?"
- The itinerary shows you crossing the Pacific Ocean on
Amtrak.
- Reserves you a great package for seven days and two
nights.
- Books you on something called "Dulta Airlines."
- Looks at you funny after hearing there's a "South"
America.
- "Rental car" turns out to be a donkey with cupholders.
- No matter what your destination, you have a layover in
Afghanistan.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Big City Slider - Mini Burger Cooker
Just scoop, press and cook your way to the burger sensation that's
sweeping the nation! Enjoy delicious burgers without the time and
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Cook the perfect burgers with Big City Slider today!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Online Friends
http://www.silveran
In Other Words
http://www.poetryby
Tribute to the Troops
http://mywebpages.
Different Time
http://www.reflecti
*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Surfin Surfari
Taxes
http://community-
Pizza Tracker
http://www.dominos.
Miracle Fawn
http://www.shangral
Birthday Calculator
http://www.paulsado
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We wanted to let you know right away that you never have to pay
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
World's Most Private Search Engine
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Twinkies~New Angels
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Glitter 3 ~ NEW
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://vetinfo.
Kitty Korner
http://www.vetinfo.
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Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
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Movie Chips
Brains
http://www.buffalos
Burglary Commercial
http://www.buffalos
Call To Navy Recruiter
http://www.buffalos
Country Music
http://www.buffalos
Crappy hp Printer
http://www.buffalos
German Engineering
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God Bless The USA
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Grimper Rocher
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Hand Boeienin Bed
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Hill Climb
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doing the missionary position does not mean you have sex in a
church.
A blonde patient was being counseled by the doctor at the local
health clinic. "Until the penicillin cleans out your infection, you
can't have any relations whatsoever!" The young girl replied, "Okay,
but what about friends and neighbors?"
"So he asked me what I wanted, and I told him, 'A long, strong,
stiff
one.'" "Oh, my!" "Yeah, but you should have seen his face when I
said, 'I meant a drink!'"
What does a blonde call a blow job in a Honda?
Her Civic duty
How can a girl tell when her date suffers from premature
ejaculation?
When he comes walking in the door.
Why do nurses make poor lovers?
Because they always wait for the swelling to go down!
How does a lesbian hold her liquor?
By the ears.
What does a prostitute have at the end of her shift?
A box of assorted creams!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pup Light
PupLight - Keep Your Pup Lit Up Keep you and your pet safe at
night with Puplight! With Puplight you'll see what's in your path
plus drivers and other animals will see you approaching before
it's too late. Whether you're with him or not, help them see and
make them visible. Now avaialble in four fun colors: black, blue,
red and gray. Keep your pet safe with Puplight! View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cinderella Man
http://able2laugh.
Slap a guy
http://able2laugh.
Objection!
http://able2laugh.
Stop Applauding
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Impotence
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Crab House
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shoes Under - Space Saving Shoe Organizer
Shoes Under stores twelve pairs of shoes under your bed, saving you
valuable closet space. It's the perfect solution for coordinating
not only shoes, but socks, belts, toys and more! Shoes under has a
protective clear, zipper see-through cover keeping dust, moisture
and bugs out. Just slide and store - it's that easy!
Order now and we'll DOUBLE your order!
View Web Version
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A neurotic young playboy named Gleason
Liked boys for no tangible reason
A frontal lobotomy
All but cured him of sodomy
But ruined his plans for the season.
A soldier's wife slipped from the garrison
And had an affair with a Tim Harrison.
She was not over-sexed
Or jealous or vexed
She just wanted to make a comparison.
A singer named Ursula Greville
Had a lousy affair with the devil
Her bush was so thick
It obstructed his prick
So he sent for the Barber of Seville
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now you can stop wrestling with stubborn bra straps and give your
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The Strap Perfect(tm) kits includes:
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Plus, as a special free gift, we'll also send you 10 strips of
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of the young page boys in Arthur's castle was particularly
attractive to, well, those knights who leaned that way.
The unfortunate fellow was forced to juggle his schedule to the
point
where he could no longer perform his royal duties -- even if he
didn't have "conflicting appointments,
sleep.
Something had to give. In desperation he made an appointment to see
Sir Jacko during office hours -- and explained his predicament as
well as he could.
The knight decided to call a meeting among those knights who had
been
calling on the boy. After drinks had been passed around, he called
the meeting to order and began: "Before we start I'd like to be sure
we're all on the same page..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and
rechargeable electric shaver.
The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
battery shaver.
With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roland, a multi-talented man with a variety of interests, had just
completed one hell of a busy day..
First he drove 25 miles to a university campus to perform a
Beethoven
piano sonata, then shared his opinion at the local city council
meeting,
then practiced shooting his 9-mm Glock at the gun range, then
finished his weekly newspaper column, and topped things off with a
terrific sexual encounter with a gorgeous, seductive woman he'd met
just the day before.
What's the best way to describe the jam-packed day Roland
experienced?
He drove a piece, played a piece, said his piece, fired his piece,
wrote his piece, and got a piece.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slim Clip is the amazing new double-sided money clip that holds up
to
30 bills on one side and up to six credit cards on the other.
Slim Clip is engineered from durable stainless steel, so now matter
how much or what the abuse, you'll have a lifetime of use,
guaranteed.
It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
If it ever breaks or bends, we'll send you a brand new one for Free,
no questions asked.
Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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