THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had And what you've learned from them, and less to do With how many birthdays you've celebrated.  Make sure you start the day right. Take part in National Survey Panel's Best Breakfast Cereal Survey. Which cereal is better? Froot Loops(R) vs. Trix(R). Simply tell us. Get 100$!!!! http://www.thepostm  MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE a perfect valentines day gift! Set sail aboard the love boat and cast away your personalized Message of Love© In A Bottle! Our exclusive design makes a creative and romantic vessel to carry your heartfelt thoughts to your special someone. The 7 1/2" glass bottle is full of fun and surprises direct from the tropics with sand and seashells, beach umbrella, even the quintessential palm tree... and of course, your very own "personalized message" . Choose from our 7 verses or write your own and we'll custom personalize your sentiments http://www.thepostm  FREE SAMSUNG AIR!  EZ Combs - Stretchable Double Combs Create dozens of dazzling hairstyles instantly with your very own set of EZ Combs. What are they? EZ Combs are what they say they are -- EZ. * Simply slide in one end of the EZ Comb. * Stretch the EZ Comb around your hair. * Slide in the other side, and there you have it. A Perfect Hairstyle in 3 EZ steps. Create a variety of hairstyles for all types of occaisions, including Weddings & Formal Events, the Office, Nights out on the Town, Working Out, and even in your bed. EZ Combs are soft & comfortable. http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS! We tend to "classify" people. All our lives, we are put in certain "catagories" There is the silent generation, people born before 1946. Then there is the Baby Boomers, people born between 1946 and 1959. Then you have Generation X, people born between 1960 and 1979. And of course, don't forget generation Y, people born between 1980 and 1995. Why do we call the last one generation Y? I did not know, but a caricaturist explains it eloquently below... (Learned something new!)  We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS __________ LETS GO TO THE MOVIES ____________  INTERESTING STUFF POWER POINT DISPLAYS Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex? A.) One of his fingers is clean. Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers? A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear. Q.) What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common? A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed. ________ The defendant and his lawyer are in the courtroom, the man being charged with theft. The lawyer tells the crusty old judge, "My lord, my client has produced receipts for, firstly, the high speed modem." "High- speed modem?" questions the judge. "Yes" replies the lawyer, "It allows computers to communicate over vast distances at high rates of speed. It allows email and something called cybersex in AOL chatrooms, your honor." "Cybersex?" says the judge, "You mean sex through a modem? You mean sex on a monitor? Good lord, the morals of this society! Sex should be a natural event of nature!" "Secondly, my lord," continues the lawyer, "My client can produce a receipt for the 12-speed cd-rom." "12-speed cd-rom?" queries the judge. "Yes my lord, it enables millions of bits of information to be read off a small disk." "And I suppose most of this information is cybersex related... Modern technology and modern society, baffling, just baffling," comments the judge. "I'm appalled at what technology is doing to society these days." "Thirdly my lord, my client can produce a receipt for the super deluxe inflatable milk maid, whatever that is." "That's the one with the silicone breasts and real hair," replies the judge. ___________ Q: What do most blondes get on an IQ test? A: Drool! Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills. ____________ After the recent Anti-trust hearings, Bill Gates recently compared the software market with the soft drink market. He says Microsoft is struggling to survive but that the beverage giant will be on top forever because the Department of Justice doesn't pick on them. Of course, Bill should be careful not to give Coke any ideas. We might end up with a scenario like the following: Joe: (walking into McDonalds) Hi, I'd like a Big Mac. Cashier: Okay, here's your Big Mac and here's your Coke. That'll be $3.99. Joe: Uh, I don't want a Coke. Cashier: Sorry, they're bundled. Joe: What? I'm not paying for a Coke! Cashier: You don't; the Coke is free. Joe: But wasn't a Big Mac $2.49 last week? Cashier: Sure, but this latest Big Mac is far more innovative. It's got integrated Coke! Joe: I already bought a Snapple across the street... I'm not going to drink the Coke. Cashier: Then you can't have the burger. Joe: Okay, fine, I will pay the $3.99 and throw the Coke away. Cashier: Oh, you can't do that. They're seamlessly integrated. Totally inseparable. Joe: How can that be? They're two totally separate things! Cashier: No, watch. (takes Big Mac, dunks it in a tank of Coke) See? Joe: Why did you just do that?! Cashier: It's a benefit to the consumer. Otherwise you'd end up with two different, inconsistent tastes. This way you're assured of a continuous taste across all your foods. Joe: Aaarrgh! ___________ The clerk showed the man the store's most expensive perfume. "This is called 'Perhaps'," said the sales clerk. "It's $285 per ounce." "Listen," the man shot back, "for $285 an ounce, I don't want something called 'Perhaps'; I want something called... "You Can Bet Your Sweet Ass You'll Get Some !!" ____________ A husband and wife are approaching their 76th birthdays, and for the most part, they feel fine. A few weeks ago they had just gotten into bed when he noticed his wife taking an extra amount of time smoothing out her nightgown, then pulling up the covers and smoothing them out, and then finally going to work smoothing out her pillow. After watching all this activity for a while, he finally asked, "What are you doing?" "Well," she replied, "I don't like to sleep on wrinkles." "Ha!" he replied. "At our age, how can you avoid it?" FUN PAGES from Lorraine Snowy Treasure Hunter http://tinyurl. Skies of War http://tinyurl. PAPA Thorn Alien encounters http://able2laugh. BUFFALO Bill The Wood Spider http://www.buffalos Thirsty Monkey http://www.buffalos Tricky Chick http://www.buffalos THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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