Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Well the saga of wireless internet is over. Buffy picked up a
Linksys WRT-110 wireless router and between the two of us we not
only got it installed but figured out the problem with the Netlink
router so now I have a spare laying around. The problem was with the
user name for the DSL router not being
the email address I use now. I also put the older WEP security on it
with the 26 digit password. Buffy typed it into her laptop manually
and had to do it several times to get it right and I just ran the
cable over to mine and sent it over by messenger. All in all it
wasn't too bad once you got past the question of whether
you have a PPPOE, Static, or Dynamic connection. I didn't have a
clue so it was process of elimination. Now I have a bunch of blue
lights blinking at night in my bedroom along with red and green
ones.
Speaking of things in the dark, walking through this house at night
has become a little eerie lately because of strange voices and weird
sounds. I have narrowed the cause down to all of those vibration
activated toys that they give out in Happy Meals but actually
finding them is a real pain especially when you step on them. It
adds insult to injury to have something laugh at you when you are
dancing on
one foot.
Goodbye for now and enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fight Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do fights start over simple words?
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She
asked, What's on TV?
I said, Dust.
And then the fight started...
==========
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
Seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
=========
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
someplace
expensive... So, I took her to a gas station...
And then the fight started....
=========
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet
at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to
go
home and Come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So
I opened
my shirt revealing My curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair
on
your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
Security
application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
Disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
=========
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and
I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone
at a
nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed,
'She's my
old
girlfriend. I understand she took to dri nking right after we split
up
many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since
.''My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
Celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
=========
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the
road
And slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how
sometimes you
Just get so stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I
couldn't believe it... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car,
looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!' So, I looked down at
him
and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started...
Jim Larsen
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
my philosophy
http://www.thepostm
the econoy
http://www.thepostm
prozac
http://www.thepostm
Elvis
http://www.buffalos
Bush AID
http://www.buffalos
Enemies of Man
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Skirt Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful
young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked
out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight
leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it
became her turn to get on, she became aware that her
skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to
the height of the first step on the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus
driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a
little thinking that this would give her enough slack
to raise her leg.
Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to
discover she still couldn't! So, a little more
embarrassed she once again reached behind her and
unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second
time attempted the step and once again, much to her
chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the
tight skirt.
So, with a coy little smile to the driver, she again
unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more
slack and again was unable to make the step.
About this time the big Texan that was behind her in
the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed
her lightly on the step of the bus.
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be
hero screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!!
I don't even know who you are!"
At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am normally I would
agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three
times, I kinda figured that we was friends."
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q and A Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why were lesbians created?
A: So feminists couldn't reproduce!
Q: Why did god give women nipples?
A: To make suckers out of men.
Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
Q: Why do gay men have mustaches?
A: To hide the stretch marks.
Q: What do you call a guy with a one inch dick?
A: Justin.
Q: Why haven't they cremated Colonel Sanders yet?
A: They can't decide whether to do him regular or crispy.
Q: What did the wife do when she found out her husband was
gay?
A: She turned around and took it like a man.
Q: What's the difference between a boxer and a woman?
A: A boxer stands up to get knocked down and a woman lies
down to get knocked up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Word Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The manager of ladies' dress shop realized it was time to give one
her sale clerks a ' pep talk '. "Jane, your figures are well below
any of our other salespeople'
sales record soon, I'm afraid you'll have to let you go."
"I'm sorry, Ma'am," said a humbled Jane. "Can you give me any advice
on how to do better?"
"Well, there is an old trick I can tell you about. It sounds silly,
but it's worked for me in the past. Get hold of a dictionary and go
through it until you come to a word that had particular power for
you. Memorize it, work it into your sales pitch whenever it seems
appropriate, and you'll be amazed at the results."
Sure enough, Jane's sales figures went way up, and at the end of the
month, the manager called her in again and congratulated her. "Did
you try my little trick?" she asked.
Jane nodded. "It took me a whole weekend to find the right word, but
I did:.... ' Fantastic.' "
"'Fantastic.
"How have you been using it?"
"Well, my first customer on Monday was a woman who told me her
little girl had just been accepted at the most exclusive prep school
in the city. I said, 'Fantastic.' She went on to tell me how her
daughter always got straight A's and was the most popular girl in
her class, I said 'Fantastic' and she bought $300 worth of clothing.
My next customer said she needed a formal dress for the spring ball
at the country club, which she was in charge of. I said 'Fantastic.'
She went on to tell she had the best figure of anyone on the
committee and her husband makes the most money. I said 'Fantastic'
and she not only bought the designer gown, but hundreds of dollars
of other merchandise. It's been like that all week: the customers
keep boasting, I keep saying 'Fantastic', and they keep buying."
"Excellent work, Jane," complimented her boss. "Just as a point of
interest, what did you used to say to customers before you
discovered your power word?"
Jane shrugged. "I used to say, 'Who gives a shit ?'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Newlywed Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man and his newlywed check into a mountain resort by a lake. The
desk clerk notices the "Just Married" sign still on the car. As soon
as the man gets the luggage out of the car, he hops in a boat to go
fishing.
He is out all day, comes back for a quick supper, picks up his
lantern and goes back out at night. This goes on for a couple of
days when the man happens to stop by the desk. The clerk starts a
conversation with the man and mentions his behavior:
"I know it's none of my business,... but I was wondering why you
weren't in the room having sex with your new wife."
"Oh, I couldn't do that; she has gonorrhea."
"Well, what about anal sex?"
"Couldn't do that; she has diarrhea."
"There is always oral sex."
"Nope, she has pyorhea."
"Wait a second. If she has gonorrhea, diarrhea, and pyorhea, why did
you marry her?"
"That's easy. She also has worms, and I love to fish!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shag Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man woke up the one morning feeling horny, and asked his
girlfriend for a shag, But she said she wasn't in the mood. So he
got up, got dressed, and went downstairs and cooked breakfast for
them both. He ate his, and then took hers up to the bedroom so she
could have breakfast in bed. He was still feeling horny, and so,
after she'd finished her breakfast, he asked again for a shag. She
said she was still not in the mood. So he decided to go out to the
newsagent and buy that day's newspaper. When he got back he found
her still in bed, but with her arms and legs tied up to the bedpost.
So, thinking that she'd changed her mind, and fancied some bondage
fun, he got undressed again, and proceeded to climb into bed for
some action. She asked him what did he think he was doing, and he
told her that as she was tied up, he thought she'd changed her mind.
She said "You daft bastard! - While you were out We were robbed!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Ms Edna
http://silverandgol
Wayfaring Stranger
http://summerhoosie
TexasBob w/A White Thumb Tack?
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You Are
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DWELLING ON THE PAST!
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Surfin Surfari
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Guess That Beer Via Patricia
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A&W Rootbeer
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Woodheat.
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Tags
http://d21c.
Basic Sally~ Webpage Design
http://www.simplysa
Fairies Pixies Elves Graphics
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.thepuppy
Shangrala's Pet Gallery!
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Kitty Korner Via Dianne
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Movie Chips
Male Invention 478
http://www.buffalos
Mans favorite Tool
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Marbles
http://www.buffalos
Mauled
http://www.buffalos
Gun Control Witness
http://www.buffalos
Gunslinger
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Half Time Show
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Hammer Guy
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At the cinema a man noticed a young woman sitting all by herself. He
was excited to see she had both hands under her skirt and was
playing
herself furiously. He moved to the next seat to her and offered his
help. She welcomed his help, and so the man started playing her like
crazy. When he tired and withdrew his hand, he was surprised to see
her go back to work on herself with both hands. Wasn't I good
enough?"
he asked sheepishly. "Great," she said, "but these crabs are still
itching!"
Bambi the blonde celebrated her 40th birthday with a makeover. She
went to the best plastic surgeon in town and got a boob lift, a
tummy
tuck, butt implants, botox, collagen... the works. Ten weeks and
thousands of dollars later, she was a new woman -- literally. Her
personal physician then performed her annual physical, noted the new
"body work." When the exam was finished, he called her in. "Bambi,
your overall health is good, but I want to discuss a problem that
often affects women your age, osteoporosis.
"Osteo--what?
their
40s." Bambi giggled, blushed and said, "Oh, really, Doc. You've seen
me naked. Trust me, with this body and this face, I get new bones
quite often!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fishing
http://able2laugh.
Horny Island
http://able2laugh.
Just Kicking Back
http://able2laugh.
Eye Test
http://www.buffalos
What You Looking At
http://www.buffalos
Fatal Error
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loud 'N Clear, the compact personal sound amplifier, allows you
to listen to low-volume sounds clearly and comfortably.
The Loud 'N Clear listening device is cleverly designed
to look like an expensive cell phone ear piece.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There Once Was A Girl, A Humdinger,
Around Whom The Boys Like To Linger,
While Babbling Of Love,
But Got Nowhere. ''Go Shove!''
She Would Say As She Gave Them The Finger.
A Passionate Maiden From China,
Would Gently Caress Her Vagina.
She Fondly Would Linger
With Each Little Finger,
As Though Nothing In China Was Finer.
Since Transplanting Has Proved To Be Viable,
And My Dong's Been Less Plied That Pliable,
Why Not Graft, As A Ringer,
My Trusty Third Finger,
Which, These Days, Is Far More Reliable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady walks into a bar and walks up to the first man
she sees and asked, "I'll give you $500.00 if you can
make my rhyme rhyme with yours..."
Well the guy thinks why not, how hard can it be? "Okay
" he replied.
"If my pussy was out to sea how would you bring it
back to me? The lady waits for an answer.
"Well you got me...Here.."
So he gives her the $500.00.
She walks up to the next man and asked him" I'll give
you $500.00 dollars if you can make your rhyme rhyme
with mine. Wanna try?"
He says "Sure little lady..."
"Okay...if my pussy was out to sea how would you bring
it back to me?"
The guy thought about it and cannot figure it out for anything...So
he then gives her the $500.00.
Well she goes to every man in the bar until she gets
to the last man and asked "if my pussy was out to sea
how would you bring it back to me?"
The guy looked at her, laughed and says, "If that
shall ever come to pass I'll put my balls upon your
ass, turn my dick into an oar, and paddle your pussy
back to shore......
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally, Christmas was over and the elves were taking off for their
well deserved vacation. Chandro the Lead Elf says, "Man, I've been
waiting for this for six months. I'm getting my ass down to Miami.
I'm
gonna do nothin, but suck down margaritas, bang as many babes as I
can, and soak up the sun til I get this damn cold out of my bones.."
So he gets to Miami, checks into his hotel and then heads straight
for
the bar. He spots a gorgeous, tall, well built blonde sitting alone
sipping a drink. So he goes over, climbs on the stool next to her
and
orders a margarita. Downs it, orders another one, downs that too. He
smiles at the blonde and says, "Hi sweetie, I'm Chandro, Santa's
lead
elf. What would you say to a little fuck" She looks down and says.
"Hello you little fuck".
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
From BJ in Guthrie
An article in my company magazine, the Spectrum which gives more
information on
the movie we were in.
"Lights, Camera, Cassady!
One of our very own has gone Hollywood. Okay, maybe not Hollywood,
but he did take part in making a movie filmed in Oklahoma.
BJ Cassady, ISD, and his wife, Diana, answered an open call for
extras that appeared in the Guthrie newspaper to take part in the
feature film Pearl, the story of the late Pearl Carter Scott, a
Chickasaw girl from Oklahoma who befriended and took flying lessons
from famous aviator Wiley Post in the late 1920s. She took her first
solo flight at age 13 and was a licensed, commercial pilot and
barnstormer by age 14. To this day, she remains the youngest
licensed pilot in America.
The film was produced in part by the Chickasaw Nation to honor her
contributions. Pearl also served the Nation as one of their first
community health representatives and as a three-term tribal
legislator.
The Cassadys are use to attacking life head on, so taking part in a
movie seemed like a normal step to take. Diana used to sing with
Garth Brooks when he first started out, and BJ counts this among his
many adventures.
I have climbed a mountain, done caving and written a novel, so this
just fit in with things to do before I die, he said.
Filming for the movie took place at many Oklahoma locations,
including the historic Harn Homestead area, the El Reno Municipal
Airport, the Jude and Jody Airport and several locations in and near
Guthrie.
BJ played a businessman and gained an on-screen wife and son in the
role. Diana played a church organist. Together they appear in
roughly two dozen scenes.
As a special treat, BJ also got to take a ride in a bi-plane used in
the production. The 30-minute flight was quite a thrill.
Can you describe the flight for us so we can get a quote?
The movie-making process proved to be slow with many takes necessary
before getting the final print. That gave the pair time to get to
know their fellow actors, play cards and pick up a lot of Oklahoma
history.
The best thing about taking part was that everyone was just folks,
said BJ.
BJ also appears in a Making of feature in which he was asked his
thoughts on the production. He felt that the movie is more than just
some of the action and fluff out there today. It is a reflection of
history and marks a momentous feat, which is hard to duplicate.
Though BJs film experience has ended, the wait to see the final
product continues. The film is currently scheduled for premiere at
the opening of the Chickasaw Cultural Center in summer 2009.
Acting appears to be just his latest feat in the world of media. BJ
is already an accomplished author.
I write for a magazine in Canada; a newspaper in Greenville, S.C.;
and a daily online column that has a lot of readers, he said.
His column is a light-hearted look at his dogs lives. He also writes
about life and living with a spiritual base. He has written 29 books
total, writing roughly four a year. Common genres for him include
westerns, action and drama.
My publisher would love to publish my 29 books, but I will not allow
that until I retire, BJ said.
He can also be found on yet another platform, the pulpit. He has
preached in four different churches sharing his faithful message.
With so much going on in his life, he is still able to bide his time
as a long-time AFA Colleague. BJ celebrated his 11th year with the
company this year."
BJ in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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