Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
With the first warm weather of the month there was a bit of
construction on my street yesterday as the kids upstairs
and the other children in the neighborhood built too snow
forts, one in the snowbank in my yard and another on the
street corner diagonal to my place. Buffy had the Suburban
over at her house and the were shoveling some of the snow
into my parking space as they dug. When she came back
she argued with them and as revenge they decided to pile
snow under the back of the SUV. Buffy woke me up from
my nap complaining about them and I wasn't concerned,
the plow hadn't been able to plow me in this winter and the
kids weren't going to stop me in four-wheel drive. I had to
run to the store for soda for Sandy and they were disappointed
when the Suburban backed over the hump without slowing down.
By the time I got back they had given up on the fort and were
fighting amongst themselves.
I have already formulated a plan to put an end to any future battles
they may have planned and have someone coming over with a plow
tomorrow to fill their fort in and hopefully when the next Clipper
hits
tomorrow night it will freeze back up. I hate to spoil their fun but
prefer not to have dents and dings from ice balls.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Texas Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Texas redneck was stopped by a game warden in East Texas recently
with
two
ice chests full of live fish in water, leaving a river well known for
its
fishing.
The game warden asked 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'
'Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are my pet fish.'
'Pet fish?'
'Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the river and let 'em
swim'
round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this
ice
chest and I take 'em home.'
'That's a bunch of bull! Fish can't do that!'
The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then
said, 'It's
the
truth. I'll show you. It really works.'
'Okay, I've GOT to see this!'
The redneck poured the fish into the river and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, 'Well?'
'Well, what?' said the redneck
'When are you going to call them back?'
'Call who back?'
'The FISH!'
'What fish?'
We in Texas may not be as smart as some, but we ain't as dumb as most.
John Maurer
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
your last ride
http://www.thepostm
Dr. Og
http://www.thepostm
Grandma don't remember
http://www.thepostm
Harem Story
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Shaved of Fluffy?
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Shaking
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day Joe goes to the church and takes a seat in the confessional.
"Father", he says, "this week I have sinned forty three times."
"My son", the priest says, "this is a bad thing. Who did this happen
with?"
"My wife, Jill," Joe answers.
"But that is not a sin", the priest says, "That is common behavior in
a marriage."
"I know,", Joe says with a smile, "I was just anxious to tell
someone."
During our computer class, the teacher chastised one boy for talking
to the girl sitting next to him.
"I was just asking her a question," the boy said.
"If you have a question, ask me," the teacher tersely replied.
"Okay," he answered, "Do you want to go out with me Friday night?"
Q. What would get your man to put down the toilet seat?
A. A sex-change operation.
Q. My husband and I are very attractive. I'm sure our baby will
be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
A. Your therapist.
A rich lady is riding along with her chauffeur when they get a flat
tire. He gets out and starts trying to pry off the hubcap. After he
struggles a few minutes, she looks out at him and says, 'You wanna
screwdriver?
He says, 'We might as well. I can't get this freaking hubcap off'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A scruffy young man was questioned by one of New York's finest for
peddling dirty pictures. "But you're mistaken," said the kid. "These
pictures aren't dirty." Selecting one, the policeman said, "Do you
mean to tell me this isn't a dirty picture?" The young man
responded, "Don't be such a prude, officer! Haven't you ever seen
five people in love?"
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is leaning against the headboard
smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile
on its face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the
sheet and rolls over and says: "Well, I guess
we finally answered THAT question."
"My doctor says if I don't give up sex, I'll be dead in a week." "Why
is that?" "I'm playing around with his wife."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Waiting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bert and Mabel were a week away from their wedding day. Bert was
beginning to get major stirrings so he decided to chance his
arm. "Er, Mabel, as it is only a week to the big day, how's about a
quick screw?" said Bert. Mabel's answer as expected was, "No Bert,
it's only 6 days to go, however you can have a look at your prize."
The next night Bert again pesters Mabel. Being an understanding sort,
Mabel gives in and says, "It is still 5 days to go and as you've been
a good fellow, I'll let you have a little feel of your prize." It
only makes matters worse for Bert and by the next night he can hardly
contain himself. Seeing his obvious predicament Mabel greets Bert and
whispers in his ear, "I can see what your problem is but you've still
got 4 days to go. I will however let you have a good sniff of your
prize." Not being bashful, Bert lifts Mabel's skirts and sniffs.
After a minute he comes up for air, "Mabel, do you think it will
keep 'til Saturday?!?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My broker called me this morning and said, "Remember
that stock we bought and I said you'd be able to
retire at age 65?"
"Yes, I remember," I said.
"Well," my broker continued, "your retirement age is
now 108."
========
The bar room was crowded. All of a sudden, the cute
little thing on the stool began to cry.
The barkeep asked, "What's the trouble, Sweetie?"
She sobbed, "I'm a virgin, and my boyfriend won't have
anything to do with me because I'm inexperienced.
What should I do?"
Three men and a lesbian were killed in the rush.
=======
Jack and Jill were parked one dark summer night in
Lovers Lane, when all of a sudden Jill said, "Oh,
don't do that, or I'll go all to pieces!"
Jack replied, "Go right ahead...I've got my hand on
the piece I want!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Audit Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his
attorney.
The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and
no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win
money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a
demonstration?
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own
eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite
my other eye."
The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,
with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six
thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee
into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop
anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully
and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he
agrees again.
Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on
other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major
loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in
his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the
attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an
audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here
and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus - Led Book Light
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Alone and Homeless
http://silverandgol
John w/ Ave Maria
http://heavens-
Cost Of A Child
http://www.shangral
A Different Time
http://www.reflecti
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Surfin Surfari
Top 10 Most Expensive Accidents in History
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Stupid Gun Mistakes
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Under Meals And Breads: Potato Salad
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Shark Nets
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
File Recovery
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Spark Notes: Study Guides
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Captured - Party Time in DC
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://gottadance.
Kitty Korner
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Movie Chips
My SS Check
http://www.buffalos
NEVER MARRY A WOMAN BIGGER THAN YOU!
http://www.buffalos
Never Smash WD-40 can
http://www.buffalos
New product Nut
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New Shoes
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Men Can't Multitask
http://www.buffalos
Men Invented Everything
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Microsoft No More Keyboards
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Monkey's helping Hands
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Moose family
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hair Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three boys were sitting on a fence talking. One of the little boys
says to the other, "If you could have your body covered in anything,
what would it be?" After thinking for a while the boy
answers. "Silver" "Well, why?" "I could peel it off and buy that
Honda over there" The boy then asks the other, "And you?" "Gold, I
could peel it off and by the BMW sitting over there" After a few
seconds one of the boys ask the first boy, "Well, what about you?!?"
The boy thought and thought and finaly, said very calmly, "Hair".
Well the other two boys were just sickened and asked..."HAIR?
in the hell would you want your WHOLE BODY covered in
HAIR???" "Well", the boy answered, "My sister has got a little tiny
patch of hair and she ownes both of those cars!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Accident
http://able2laff.
Cellphone
http://able2laff.
Bill & Len
http://able2laff.
Bums Away
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Bullshit
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Great Nights
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and rechargeable
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The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
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With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A destitute lady named Laker
Accosted and fucked a lewd Quaker.
When she asked him for bread,
He smiled sagely and said,
"If thee wisheth bread, fuck a baker."
An ingenious botanist named Pace,
Grew cunts in pots at his place.
When they ripened, he'd pluck 'em
And eat them or fuck them--
'Cause they were simpler to grow than to chase.
For men who are not up to par,
Be bold, and in life you will star.
There's no need to get flustered
If you can't cut the mustard.
You'll do fine if you just lick the jar.
There once was a young man from Virtualand,
Who traded real life for a wedding band,
He signed onto the net,
His betrothed got upset,
And she lopped off his link @ the ampersand!
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
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Additional Ordering Details:
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
As I booked into a hotel, I said to the receptionist, "I hope the
porn channel in my room is disabled." "No," she said, "It's regular
porn, you sick bastard."
Randy
Bill & Hillary Clinton were sleeping one night and Hillary wakes up
and starts shaking Bill to wake him up. "Bill, Bill wake up."
Bill stays sleeping.
Hillary continues, "Bill, Bill wake up."
Bill finally wakes up and says, "What do you want?"
Hillary responds, "I have to go use the bathroom."
To which Bill says, "Please tell me you didn't wake me up just to
tell me you have to go to the bathroom."
Hillary says, "No, I just wanted to tell you to save my spot."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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The catlite is the perfect flashlight, ready when you need it and
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You'll wonder how you ever lived without your Catlite!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A 13 year old was watching a movie on cable TV. A man ripped off a
woman's blouse and said, "I want what I want when I want it!" The
boy, turned on by the scene and the love-making which followed,
finished watching the movie, and decided to try what he had just
witnessed on the girl next door, a classmate.
He went over to her house, found that her parents weren't home from
work yet, ripped off her blouse; and then said, "I want what I want
when
I want it!"
The girl just stared at him and cooly replied... "You'll get what I
got
when I get it!"
Karl
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Warrior AK-47 Airsoft Rifle is an awesome toy for the holidays!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Original Lens Doctor is the quick and easy way to fix scratches
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Lens Doctor cleaning and treatment solution.
Order from the Official TV Website Here:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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