THE POSTMAN'S CORNER You cannot change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future.  Hear what you*ve been missing! The Bell Howell Silver Sonic XL has the ability to give you sonic hearing, easily amplifying sounds up to 60 feet away. Never miss out on a conversation, game or TV show ever again! Small and lightweight, it looks like a wireless cell phone earpiece so no one will know you have sonic hearing! Silver Sonic XL*s flexible ear mount easily adjusts to fit all ear shapes and sizes. Plus, the convenient volume control lets you easily control the intensity and volume of your Silver Sonic XL so you can set the level right where you want it. Silver Sonic XL is portable, SONIC HEARING! * Small and lightweight * Discreet and looks like cell phone ear adapter * Adjustable volume control * Flexible and comfortable fits left and right ear * 3 soft tips helps insure comfortable fit * Amplifies sounds up to 60 feet away! http://www.thepostm  Get your FREE $500 amazon.com(R) Gift Card and go on an online shopping spree http://www.thepostm  FREE BOWFLEX EXTREME! Let 2009 be your time to shine! Whip your body into shape with your very own Bowflex(R) Xtreme(R) SE Home Gym! Equipped with over 65 available exercises and 210 pounds of Power Rod(R) Resistance, this home gym gives you a power workout right in the comfort of your home!  FREE FIREPLACE SCREENSAVER! Cozy up to the warm fireside on your desktop. With animated graphics, this free screensaver will make you wish for a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. Features Glowing 3D fire Inviting and cozy scene No purchase or registration required http://www.thepostm GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS This past week has been a veritable heat wave here in West Michigan, at least compared to the deep freeze of last week. Several days this week it hit over 30 degrees! Wow! It is a good thing too. Since this old dumpy house has no heat up stairs, I was forced for a couple of days the previous week to sleep on the couch, due to my breathing issues and lungs. A day or two of that is sure to be depressing. They were predicting a fierce cold snap for this morning, but it is actually fairly nice out there. I was talking to "the war department" the other night and said, "Is it my imagination or what? Sure seems like this winter is a lot colder than the last few years." Keep in mind, I do not venture outside these days in the cold very much, doctor's orders. Anyways, She chuckled and she says, "You are cooped up too much. Actually, I've been keeping the thermostat a lot lower this year than normal." I shivered and got up and walked over to check. 63 degrees!!! Geeze. Well that clears one thing up. At first I was thinking that the experts had it wrong. What a relief to know that Al Gore and the global warming issue could still actually be true! We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS very amusing http://www.thepostm the headaches http://www.thepostm the vet said http://www.thepostm Barack and Hillary at work in the Whitehouse http://www.thepostm today's special http://www.thepostm his lucky day http://www.thepostm a common thing http://www.thepostm the cops and the bicyclist http://www.thepostm medical malpractice http://www.thepostm funniest home videos http://www.thepostm Abbot and Costello http://www.thepostm  ___________ INTERSTING STUFF how did she do that? http://www.thepostm earthquake zone http://www.thepostm POWER POINT DISPLAYS beer sex and... http://www.thepostm The husband and wife were undressing one night when she said, "Joyce and Mary were talking about their husbands' anatomy today. Joyce said that her husband filled out his shorts so well that they hired him to model Jockey shorts." Her husband said, "So?" Then Mary said "her husband could go so long and hard that they hired him to model condoms.""I hope you stood up for me," he said. "I did," his wife replied." I told them you could be a model, too." "Thank you." " "If," she went on, "anybody needed a model for a cocktail wiener." ___________ A middle-aged man took his car to an auto repair shop for a checkup. When he received the mechanic's bill, the man flipped out. "Hey!" he yelled to the owner of the shop. "This bill is higher than the one I got from my doctor for a complete physical checkup!" The auto shop owner nodded,"I believe it," he said. "The difference here is, my bill includes the checkup, and... the replacement of worn out parts!: ____________ One Sunday at church, after the sermon, the offering plate was being passed around when a wife whispers to her husband, "Honey, your fly is open." Not understanding her he says, "What?" She repeats again, "Your - fly - is - open." Just then the offering plate reaches their pew and he zips up. At home after church, one of their daughters tells her mom that she had seen what had happened and says, "You know, mom, I always wondered where dad kept his billfold." ____________ A man was shipwrecked on a remote island. Although he had plenty of food and water, there was nothing for him to do except play with himself. After many years, even that became so monotonous that he couldn't even get an erection. Now, completely without any happiness, his sanity began to slip away. One morning, as he is lying on the beach, he thinks he sees a ship in the distance. He quickly starts a fire, then throws wet seaweed on top until smoke is billowing high in the air. The ship starts to come his way! He gets all excited and thinks, "Finally! I'm going to be saved! The first thing I want is to take a long, hot shower. Then they're going to give me some clothes and I'm going to go upstairs and have a nice dinner. I will find a nice lady to dance with, then I will take to her cabin and we can kiss and I can fondle her body. She'll start to take off her clothes and she'll be wearing red silk panties!" At this, he gets an erection. He slips his hand into his shorts, grabs his pecker, and yells, "Ha Ha Ha!! I fooled you! I lied about the ship!" ____________ "My girl, Ginger, is going to die of syphilis," mumbles an angry biker to one of his buddies. "No," says the friend, "people don't die of syphilis anymore." The angry biker replies, "They do when they give it to me!" ____________ An elderly couple sat through a porno movie twice. They didn't get up to leave until the theater was ready to close for the night. "You folks must've enjoyed the show," the usher said. "Disgusting, "It was revolting," her husband added. "Then why did you sit through it twice?" the usher asks. "We had to wait until you turned up the house lights," the old lady replied. "We couldn't find my panties, and his teeth were in them!" ____________ BUFFALO Bill PAPA Thorn You've been replaced... http://able2laff. Air conditioned car http://able2laff. Good night's sleep http://able2laff. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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