[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
 

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
 
 
 
 
Dogs love their friends & bite their
enemies, quite unlike people,
who are incapable of pure love &
always have to mix love & hate 
 
 
 



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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
If you live in Riverside California this morning, you are waking up to
temps in the 70s. However, if you live in Kentucky or Tenessee, you
most likely have no heat or electricity. The heavy ice storms ripped
through the country, and sent many to shelters. Fortunately, here in
West Michigan, we have escaped the last day or so with only a slight
dusting of snow. Enough to make it irritating and necessary for shoveling. However, having become somewhat tired of the whole "winter
event"thing, the postman's sidewalk lays unattended. I should really
get out there, but the motivation is weak. You know, maybe I should go
to a doctor. They got pills that will "make everything all better, no matter
what you suffer from." Do you think he can give me one that will make me
glad it is winter time? Yesterday morning, I had cabin fever so bad that
I decided I had to go out and get donuts from the bakery. This was not a
good decision. For one thing, the freshly fallen snow made the roads
kindof greasy. Coupled with the fact that it was also morning rush hour
made me regret the chocie. Been a long time since I had to drive during
heavy traffic. Makes me wonder how so many of you folks do it.
Anyways, got to the bakery finally and couldn't decide. Should it be a
rasberry filled bismark? or a custard filled long john. Unable to decide,
I picked both. By the time I got back home, the slow traffic turned a trip
that should have taken only fifteen minutes stretched out to forty
minutes to complete. I did not take my sugar test after
the donuts were gone. I figger what you don't know won't hurt you,
right? Good thing for me, Turk the dog managed to grab part of the long
john and thus save my diabetes more trauma than would have otherwise
been the result of my splurge. The sugar high probably didn't do either
one of us any good and we both spent the rest of the afternoon mostly
napping in the chair. Sometimes the best way to cure
cabin fever is to sleep it away.


Did you know that the postman's jewelry store is open for Valentines day?
You know you are looking for the perfect gift for her, right? Get it from the
postman! All proceeds will be used to support this page to keep it going.
So not only will you be getting a great gift, but your dollars will also help
to support THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!! What could be better?
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Love is life's most precious gift. It brings immeasurable joy and the
strength of two hearts forever joined as one. Now, you can give her a
symbol of your everlasting love in a stylish pair of handcrafted
diamond hoop earrings with hearts that shimmer with the glow
of six genuine diamonds. Express your never-ending appreciation for
the beautiful relationship you share with these sterling silver 24K gold-
plated pierced earrings, available only from Bradford Exchange. An
unforgettable keepsake or romantic jewelry gift, these diamond
hoop earrings are engraved inside with the inscription
"Love Always." Strong demand is expected, and you won't want to
 
 
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman


THE COMICS
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
 
 
 
they don't make them like this anymore
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies4777.html
 
 
 
 
 
 
one picture tells a thousand words
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp1897.html
 
 
 
born again american
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/psp1900.html

For the 1st time in their 3 year marriage, a wife asked if her husband
would mind making the next day's lunches for them both.  Obligingly he
agrees. The next morning, the young wife asks her loving husband,
'Where is our lunch honey?' He replied, 'I placed it on the second shelf
of the fridge. My lunch is the one on the left, and yours is on the right'
Have a look at the photo…
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/g2175.jpg

_________________
 
A man recovering from a heart attack asked his doctor how long he
should wait before having sex. You can have sex right away," the
doctor answered, "but only with your wife I don't want you to get too
excited."
______________
 
Two women were having coffee, when one said, "I used to call my ex
'Superman' when we were in bed." The second commented, "How flattering!"
to which the first replied, "Not really! I meant that he was faster
than a speeding bullet." 
________________
 
For his final project in a statistics class, a student decided to
conduct a survey. He chose to find out peoples' favorite pastimes.
The teacher required that he sample at least 100 people, so he started
out his project visiting a fairly large apartment building near the
university.He knocked on the first door and a man answered.
"Sir, what is your name?" asked the student.
"John."
"Sir, I'm doing a school study and would like to know what is your
favorite pastime?"
"Watching bubbles in the bath," came the reply.
He liked the esoterical answer and continued down the hall, until he
came to the next door.
He asked again, "Sir, what is your name ?"
"Jeff."
"Sir, Would you please tell me your favorite pastime?"
"Watching bubbles in a bath," was the answer.
Quite amused and confused, he went on to ask a good number of people
in the building and all of them had the same pastime...
"watching bubbles in a bath".
He left the building and walked across the street where there were
several row houses, to continue the survey.
At the first house, he knocks and an attractive girl opens the door.
Our surveyor starts again - "What is your name?"
"Bubbles."
_____________
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
A sweet, beautiful young would-be starlet comes to Hollywood to seek
her fortune. At her first power cocktail party she goes to the host and
asks him: "Who's the most powerful man in the room?"
"That would be Bob, over there by the caviar," he says.
The young woman walks over to Bob and says, "Excuse me, Bob,
would you mind stepping back behind this column? I'd like to talk to you."
Bob and the girl step behind the column and she says, "Bob...
I'm gonna unzip your fly, take out your cock, and give you the best
blowjob you ever had...!"
Bob smiles slightly and says, "Well, okay. But.............. what's in it for me?"
______________
 
Since another church member, Bonnie, had mentioned that she and
her husband were struggling with a big decision on whether they
should become missionaries, my friend offered to include them on the
prayer list.  So at the meeting, my friend announced in front of the
whole congregation, "Let's all pray that Bonnie and Lee can make a
decision about the missionary position." 
_______________
 
I pulled up to a parking meter recent ly, only to realize I didn't have any coins.
As I got out of my car, I saw a meter maid about 6 parking meters away....
heading my way. "I'm just going to go in here", pointing to a nearby shop,
"to get some change," I called out to her.
"If there's no quarter in that meter by the time I get to your meter,
I'll have no choice but to give you a ticket," she yelled back to me.
Quickly running into a nearby coffee shop, I ordered a coffee.
The waitress, seeing the $20 bill in my hand, asked if I had anything
smaller. "No, I'm sorry, I don't" "Well, it's your *lucky* day then,"
she said, handing me the coffee and a big smile.
"We don't have any change, so your coffee is on the house! Enjoy!"
__________________
 
The farmer stood in his chicken yard watching hundreds of baby chicks running
here and there.  He kept pointing to them and trying to count them. "One, two,
three, four, five, six, oh, no..."  Then he would start over, "one, two, three,
four, and,... Oh, no." Then he'd start over again.  Finally he said, "I give up. 
They say don't count your chickens before they hatch but it sure is easier to do
that than it is to count them after they hatch
 
BUFFALO Bill
 
 
 
_______________
 
PAPA Thorn
 
 
 
 
 
FUN PAGE from Lorraine
 
 
 
Stunt Dirt Bike
http://tinyurl.com/d8zyks

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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