[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Sun



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

We celebrated New Years with a six pound standing rib roast.
It was the first time I ever bought a piece of meat with a bow on
the package but I guess they figured at that price it should be
special. It was delicious and there was still several pounds left
when we finished the meal so the next day Sandy chopped the
leftovers up and cooked it with a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's
barbecue sauce and made sandwiches out of it. It was unbelievable.
If I lived in one of the true barbecue centers of the country like
Kansas City, Texas, or South Carolina I would have died from
clogged arteries years ago heh heh. I was introduced to Sweet Baby
Rays by my late friend LynnLynn who used to send a few bottles along
with sports peppers from Chicago. Just a short time later they went
national and now all of the stores have it.

We have had a variety of weather for the past ten days. Rain, sleet,

and snow have fallen as temperatures bounce from 0 to the high 30's.
It is dismal out this morning with a winter snow warning and about
28 whereas yesterday was around 5 degrees when I woke up but the sun
was so bright I had to shut the drapes. The night before I
had drove out to mom's house and there was a blizzard blowing. I had
plans for the day but they can wait till tomorrow.

I watched the AFC wild card game yesterday and was cheering for San
Diego. In fact they probably heard me down there when San Diego
scored a touchdown and won in overtime. At least it gives me someone

to root for after the Lions lost all sixteen games this year. Why
does
football season have to be so short? It seems like basketball only
takes a short vacation and they are back again and not much longer
for hockey, why do we have to have 7 months with no football?

Enjoy the chips... buffalo

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Frozen Chips
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If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting
down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story
ever, first date or not! We have all had bad dates....but this takes
the cake. This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays.
This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the
audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever
had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was
absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize! She said
it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken
her skiing in the mountains outside of Salt Lake City, Utah. It was
a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly
had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful
until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving
back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she
should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away
from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her
companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came
a point when she told him that he had better stop and let her pee
beside the road, or it would be on the front seat of his car. They
stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants
down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so
she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her
companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and
indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she
could think about was the relief she felt, despite the rather
embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing, however, she
soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her
pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued
against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles
immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh
from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new
problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet
aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns
about "what is taking so long" with a reply that, indeed, she was
"freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!" He came
around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out
laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to
compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as
hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real
problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly
cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had
gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly
realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she
looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his
pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in
laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down or perhaps that
should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was
embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment, "This gives a whole new meaning to
being pissed off."

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

better than bridge
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j131.html

a quick study
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j132.html

new year resolutions
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j133.html

Burning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30849.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/30849.htm "> Here!</a>

Hillbilly
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30848.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/30848.htm "> Here!</a>

Be Polite
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30847.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/30847.htm "> Here!</a>


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Bad Chips
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Good girls vs. bad girls
 
Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they
could do it better.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls make it hot
by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls
only own one bra and rarely use it.

Good girls pack their toothbrush. Bad girls pack their diaphragms.

Good girls prefer the missionary position. Bad girls do too, but
only for starters.

Good girls say, "No." Bad girls say, "When?"

Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of
pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of
pearls.

Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines.

Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to
bed.

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Ideal Bite: a Sassier Shade of Green

Free Eco-living Tips Delivered M-F to Your Inbox

Ideal Bite offers bite-size ideas for light-green living.
Easy ways to go green through small changes (they add up!)
are delivered to your inbox via a short, sassy email each weekday.
The tips are fun, free, and peppered with information and actionable
links.

Not a Biter? Sign up now by visiting link below

http://buffaloschips.com/bite

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Movie Chips
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Movie superstar Samuel L. Jackson will be the voice of God in a new
audio version of the Bible. Jackson was given the lead role because
producers felt his deep, authorative voice was perfect for the role
of God.

We've been able to get a few selections from the script for these
audio scriptures....
----------------------

Genesis 2:7 - "You see that tree over there? You will not eat that
fruit, hell, you ain't even gonna touch it, or you gonna die,
motherfucker."

Genesis 3 - "We got motherfuckin' snakes in the motherfuckin'
garden!"

And the LORD said unto Cain, "Whattup, fool? Why you lookin' all
hang-dog and shit?

And the LORD said, "Don't even be tryin' to bullshit the Lord. I
know that you done smoked your brother and buried him in a shallow
one in the field. So why you trying to run some kinda game on me,
bitch?"

And the LORD said unto him, "Alright, you whiny little shit. Tell
you
what: anybody kills you, I'm gonna take care of his ass ... I'll
kill him seven fuckin' times. And I'm gonna slap a mark on your ass
so everybody knows you're in my mutherfuckin' doghouse, and nobody
better lay a hand on you 'cept me. That good enough for your punk
ass? Now get the fuck outta here before I change my mind and set
your face on fire.

And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the
land of Nod, on the east of Eden.

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EZ Combs - Stretchable Double Combs

Create dozens of dazzling hairstyles instantly with your very own
set of EZ Combs. What are they? EZ Combs are what they say they are
-- EZ.

Simply slide in one end of the EZ Comb.
Stretch the EZ Comb around your hair.
Slide in the other side, and there you have it.

A Perfect Hairstyle in 3 EZ steps.

Create a variety of hairstyles for all types of occaisions,
including Weddings & Formal Events,
the Office, Nights out on the Town, Working Out, and even in your
bed. EZ Combs are soft & comfortable.

http://buffaloschips.com/combs

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Diet Chips
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An extremely obese woman shows up at her doctor's office crying and
claims
that she has tried every possible way to lose weight, all to no
avail. She
continues to sob, "My husband won't make love to me any more. My
friends
make fun of me. Everywhere I go they tease me. I just can't take it
any
more!"

The doctor, hoping to help her, proposes a radical diet ... rectal
feeding.
Reassuring the patient that she won't starve to death, the doctor
explains
that she'll actually take in enough nutrients, through the rectal
walls, to
sustain life and that she's sure to lose weight in the process.

Three weeks later the patient comes in for a follow-up appointment
and she's
down from her 360 pounds to a trim 110 pounds At first the doctor
doesn't
recognize her and asks his nurse, "Who is that beautiful lady in the
waiting
area?" The nurse reminds the doctor that she's the fat lady on the
special,
rectal diet.

The doctor show the patient into the exam room and notices that she
is
bouncing up and down and side to side quite energetically. The
doctor asks
how she's doing and if there was anything wrong. The patient
replies, "I'm
feeling great Doc. Never felt better!"

"In that case, why are you bouncing up and down and side to side?"

The patient replies, "Oh, that ... I'm just chewing gum."

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PROCaulk - PERFECT CORNERS * SEAMLESS JOINTS * NO WASTED CAULK!

PROCaulk is the only hassle-free way to apply silicone with no mess
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effort.

PROCaulk TOOL WITH 4 EDGES IS:
* Perfect for large sealing tasks
* Perfect for small sealing tasks and grouting
* Perfect for hard-to-reach places
* Also comes with silicone remover tool

5 YEAR WARRANTY
ORDER NOW

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Alien Chips
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One night, the waitress in a bar was a bit unsettled that a strange
looking man who sat quietly drinking at the bar always seemed to be
looking at her intently. Finally, he got up enough nerve to speak to
her.

"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I do hope you
don't mind my looking at you."

She told him she would rather he didn't look so hard and that she
didn't consider herself that special.

"Well, you see I am from a far away planet, sent here to observe
some things here and I have to go back tonight. So you see, I really
haven't seen anyone like you before. Please just let me look."

So she said ok, although she thought he was a little nuts. He did
mind his manners, didn't get drunk, and just sat quietly looking.

When it was time to close the bar, he prepared to leave, then walked
back to the waitress.

"I know this is strange, but would you please let me see your tits?
I've never seen anything like this and it would mean so very much to
me if I could go home and tell the guys all about you."

Since everyone but the owner had left and he was in the back room,
she finally gave in and unbuttoned her blouse and pulled her tits
out of her bra.

"Oh my goodness, that is wonderful! Thank you! Thank you! You don't
know how much this means to me!" When she started to gather her
clothes around her again, he asked shyly, "Please, please, let me
just touch your tits. It would mean so much to me to be able to tell
all the guys about how wonderful you are."

After a little consideration, she allowed him to touch. He was very
gentle and she was beginning to get stirred up by this alien. Then
he asked her if she would allow him to make love to her.

Since she was beginning to fancy that notion, she agreed right away.
To her surprise, however, he placed his right forefinger in the
middle of her forehead quite firmly. As he did so, she could see the
passion on his face and he called out, "Aah, ahh, aaaahhhhh."

Then he took his finger from her forehead. Astonished, she asked him
if he'd like to do it again.

Looking at his curled up forefinger, he replied, "Yes, but I'll have
to wait a little while."

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Eco Canteen - Be Healthy and Go Green

Protect Your Family's Health with this stainless steel water bottle.
Studies are coming out at a rapid rate showing the dangers of
ingesting toxins leached from plastic bottles. Why place your
family at risk? Aluminum bottles are also a danger, as they require
a special chemical coating that often peels off into the water you
drink. Get one of the Top Ten Green Products of the century and get
an insulated tote on us.

View Web Version

http://buffaloschips.com/evo

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Accident Chips
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An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash
and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon
arrive on site.

Medic: "It's O.K. I'm a paramedic and I'm going
to ask you some questions"

Girl: "O.K."

Medic: "What's your name"

Girl: "Sharon"

Medic: "O.K. Sharon, is this your car?"

Sharon: "Yes"

Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"

Sharon: "Romford, mate"

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Keep Warm Air In & Winter Air Out

Twin Draft Guards? minimizes energy loss from doors and
windows saving you money on your energy bills.

Twin Draft Guards? work just as well on the interior doors of your
home
as they do outdoors, blocking drafts and keeping allergens, such as
dust,
pollen and even insects from traveling freely around your home. Twin
Draft
Guards are also helpful in blocking harmful fumes from the garage
and the
damp chill from the basement.

Additional Ordering Details:

http://buffaloschips.com/guards

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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/This Moment
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/F_S/This.html

carolyn w/Since I Met You Baby~Ivory Joe Hunter
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/sinceimetyoubaby.html

POWER IN THE BLOOD/MARLENE
http://summerhoosier.250free.com/HTML3/Power-In-The-Blood.html

The Unforgiveable Sin
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/unforgiveable.html

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We have checks ready to send you for offering us your honest opinion
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Surfin Surfari

Prince Madoc- Discoveror of America?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madoc

Real Playboy Bunny Calendar
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/calendar.html

FIGURE OUT WHY YOU'RE MOODY TODAY
http://www.facade.com/biorhythm

Funny - THE FAR SIDE re-ENACTMENT GROUP
http://www.flickr.com/groups/farside/pool/with/1479579121/

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We are giving away DATING SITE memberships TODAY! But not to a
regular dating site full of people that don't know what they want.
Our singles know EXACTLY what they want!

If you are over 18 years of age, then we want to give you a -FREE-
membership to the best ADULT DATING SITE around! All of the members
of this dating community want to meet up with new people for one
intimate and fun encounters! You have to check it out!

Now, we only have 197 memberships to give away. So if you DO NOT
want to date beautiful singles in your city for intimate encounters
then do not accept this membership that we want to give you for no
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If you DO want to have a LOT of fun with singles that are awesome to
look at and even better to make meet in real life, then take
advantage of this -FREE- membership right now.

Press here to join for NO COST:

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Finishing Touch Graphics
http://persnippity.net/

Image Stitcher
http://www.cs.ubc.ca/~mbrown/autostitch/autostitch.html

PDF Creaator
http://sourceforge.net/projects/pdfcreator/

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Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?

Did you know that many people who are married or in a serious
relationship secretly download software applications that allow them
to monitor and see everything that their spouse or lover does on the
Internet.

Do you think that someone has done this to you? You can remove these
programs from your PC or laptop with a program called Spyware Nuker.
This program also removes any spyware or adware located on your PC
or laptop.

Right now you can scan your PC or laptop for no cost to see if there
are any "spying" programs on them.

Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/nativeamericanindiandog.htm

Kitty Korner
http://simbarin.tripod.com/simbasdomain/

Rat Madness Via Barbara
http://www.thefunnystuff.net/viewmovie.php?id=1053

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You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
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I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths
sell wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that
I've to decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training
System so I can help people finally get the truth!

See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the
right way.

Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...

http://buffalosjokes.com/BIAB

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We wanted to let you know right away that you have been invited to
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Movie Chips

Iraqi Speed Bump
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aawqs.htm

Irish Beer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajdku.htm

Islamic Stripper
http://www.buffaloschips.com/acddd.htm

Italian Chewing Gum
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akloo.htm

Pine
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010309.htm

plane crash
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010310.htm

Redneck Women
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010311.htm

Riding
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/010312.htm

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Stuttering Chips
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These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many many
years. First guy asks the second guy,

"How have things been going?"

The second guy speaking very slowly tells the first guy,

"I w..a..s a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r..i..e..d."

The first guy says in amazement, "Hey; you don't stutter any more."

The answer comes, " Y..e..s, I w..e..n..t t..o a
d..o..c..t..o..r a..n..d h..e t..o..l..d m..e
t..h..a..t i..f I s..p..e..a..k s..l..o..w..l..y I
w..i..l..l n..o..t s..t..u..t..t..e..r."

The first friend congratulates him and than asks again about how he
was almost married.

"W..e..l..l, m..y f..i..a..n..c..e..e a..n..d I
w..e..r..e s..i..t..t..i..n..g o..n h..e..r
p..o..r..c..h a..n..d t..h..e d..o..g w..a..s
s..c..r..a..t..c..h..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..c..k a..n..d
I t..o..l..d h..e..r t..h..a..t w..h..e..n w..e
a..r..e m..a..r..r..i..e..d, s..h..e c..o u l d
d..o t..h..a..t f..o..r m..e a..n..d s..h..e
t..h..r..e..w t..h..e r..i..n..g i..n m..y
f..a..c..e.."

"Why should she throw the ring in your face for that?" asks the
first friend.

" W..e..l..l, I s..p..e..a..k s..o s..l..o..w..l..y,
t..h..a..t b..y t..h..e t..i..m..e s..h..e
l..o..o..k..e..d a..t t..h..e d..o..g, h..e
w..a..s l..i..c..k..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..l..l..s"

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Pampered Toes is the new miracle foot therapy product that soothes
and revives tortured toes in minutes!

Just slip your feet into Pampered Toes and feel the stretching
and extending of your toes, leaving you feeling healthy and
refreshed.

Pampered Toes are waterproof so you can even wear them in the shower

or bathtub. Order now and receive a second pair of PINK
Pampered Toes absolutely Free.

Additional Ordering Details:

http://buffaloschips.com/toes

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Toon Chips
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Coke Or Pepsi
http://www.buffaloschips.com/082301.htm

Bless You
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/022270645.htm

Time Table
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/022270646.htm

Sorry Day
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/022270647.htm

Push Me Pull ME
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/02270648.htm

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Loud 'N Clear, the compact personal sound amplifier, allows you
to listen to low-volume sounds clearly and comfortably.

The Loud 'N Clear listening device is cleverly designed
to look like an expensive cell phone ear piece.

Additional Ordering Details:

http://buffaloschips.com/loud

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Titty Chips
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Big Tits vs. Little Tits

Women with Big Tits...

..can get a taxi on the worst days
..have men give them the best seats on a bus.
..have a neat place to carry spare change
..have always been the center of the arts (art)
..make jogging a spectator sport
..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
..have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them) ..usually
can find leftover popcorn after a movie ..can always carry a little
extra cash ..always float better ..know where to look first for lost
earrings ..rarely lack for a slow dance partner ..have a place to
set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner ..never have
to buy a car with airbags ..have a place to carry a extra beer

Women with Little Tits...

..don't cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public
..always look younger ..find that dribbled food makes it to the
napkin on their lap ..can always see their toes and shoes ..can
sleep on their stomachs ..have no trouble sliding behind the wheel
of small cars ..know that people can read the entire message on
their T-shirts ..know that everything more than a handful is wasted
..can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle ..can
take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves
out ..never be accused of having implants.

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PASTA N MORE - The Amazing New 5-in-1 Pasta Cooker!

Cook, Drain and Serve All In One!

Pasta N More is made of certified materials, fits in any microwave,
its dishwasher safe and makes dinner for 1 or a family of 9. The
unique design swirls the water and not the pasta quickly cooking it
to a perfect al dente texture! Youll receive the air-tight storage
lid to keep left-overs fresh and perfect for saving, storing or
reheating meals in an instant.

Offer includes!
* Pasta Pot
* 2 Handles
* Strainer Lid
* Steam Rack
* Storage Lid
* Cookbook

BONUS COLOR CODED KNIVES WHEN YOU ORDER TODAY

http://buffaloschips.com/pasta

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Parting Chips
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A salesman was given a hotel room next to one occupied by
honeymooners. The walls were thin, and the sounds of sustained
sexual frenzy poured through. Finally the salesman could stand it no
longer. He pounded on the walls, yelling, "Knock it off --there's
other people trying to get some sleep!"

From the other room came a weak, faltering male voice which said,
"Yell louder, mister, she can't hear you!"

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TITAN Peeler - The World's Best Peeler!

The Titan Peeler is the world's best peeler. Made of long lasting,
dishwasher safe Stainless steel it has no equal. Long lasting blades
help cut vegetables quickly and easily and slice both hard and soft
cheese perfectly, every time. Each Peeler has dual action motion to
cut the peeling time in-half. Don't waste anymore time! Order
yours today!

What you get
*Handle and cutting/peeling blade.
*Julienne Blade for perfect julienne slices of your favorite
vegetables every time.
*Slicing Board that turns the Titan Peeler into the perfect slicer.
*Garnishing Book with tips and tricks on preparing fruits and
vegetables.

http://buffaloschips.com/peeler

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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

if Sex Was Sold In A Grocery Store

* Men would do a much better job of searching for and clipping
coupons.

* Hookers are renamed "Special Stock Girls."

* If you ever were not "prepared", you could always go to Aisle 8

* There's gonna be confusion over Trix on Aisle 3 and "Tricks" on
Aisle 10.

* Clean up on Aisle 10 would take on a whole new meaning.

* Same with the phrase "Freshness Dating."

* Same with "Buy One, Get One Free."

* No one wants to win the One Millionth Shopper award.

* Paper or Plastic or Rubber?

* Some men would still be in the Express Lane

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sands Of Christ

Feel a closeness to the Lord like never before!

If you're looking for the perfect gift, or you just want to
strengthen your bond with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, look no
further.

This rare item is very limited, don't miss your chance! To get yours
now, click here:

http://buffaloschips.com/sands

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1495

Banking Part 2

Rudy: So what if I wanted 12 biscuits from your bank?

Sandi: Ah, then you would have to pay me back 14 biscuits.

Rudy: But I have 10 biscuits in the bank and you gave me 1 biscuit
extra because you ate my 10 biscuits.

Sandi: Tis no matter, you do not have enough equity for 12 biscuits
so we much charge you interest. You would owe us two more biscuits.

Rudy: So if I have extra biscuits you would take it from me?

Sandi: Yes.

Rudy: But if I need extra dog biscuits you would charge me for it?

Sandi: Yes.

Rudy: This seems rather unfair.

Sandi: It seems very fair to us bankers.

Rudy: What happens if I cannot pay you back.

Sandi: We take your dog house.

Rudy: That is worth more than two dog biscuits.

Sandi: It will cover the paperwork.

Rudy: I think I will keep my own dog biscuits.

Sandi: Then you will destroy the economy.

Rudy: So be it.

The herd in Guthrie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

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William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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