[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Fri

Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

I went through boot camp at Great Lake in 1972 and along with our
uniforms we received a ditty bag that contained along with toiletries
a laundry brush, a piece of line that rendered about 25 clothes ties
to attach your uniforms to the clotheslines in good weather, a soap
dish with lid, and a book of chits worth either 30 dollars or 60
dollars which was an advance on the paycheck you would receive when
you departed boot camp. We stopped at the exchange and purchased soap
and bleach which was all combined together and stored in the
laundry room. Each laundry room served two companies and was
located between the two barracks on each floor. We were the State
Flags company and our sister company was the RTC Band. We had no
special skills other than being the one company every 13 weeks
that has to carry the flags for about ten graduations and whatever
parades that happened in Chicago or Milwaukee. Directly below us on
the second floor was two companies of Academy-prep people going
through boot camp and they considered themselves the elite group in
the building.

The laundry room consisted of long sinks of terrazzo or some rough
material accessible from both sides and a drying room with steam
coils that was used during the winter. You also had a 14 qt. bucket
that you filled hot soapy water to soak your clothes in before laying
them out on the sink and scrubbing them with the scrub brush. Along
about our 7th week , 7-4 day if I remember correctly, both companies
were in doing their laundry so we could head for the TV lounges and
have a smoke as we studied for the weeks test. RDC Baker our company
commander had departed several hours before and we were pretty
much unsupervised. Someone got the idea it would be fun to soak
someone down with a bucket of water- amongst the officer wannabees
below us. The guy the soaked grabbed a bucket of water and ran up the
stairs and soaked down several people in our laundry room. Those
people filled up their buckets and ran back down and threw it in an
arc
soaking down about ten people who grabbed buckets of water and ran
back up the stairs.

These people may have all become admirals eventually but what they
didn't anticipate was 30 people waiting at the top of the stairs with
buckets of hot water and they were hit by a tidal wave which washed
them back down to their own floor. Unfortunately the water didn't
stop
there, it continued down to the first floor which opened up to the
buildings quarterdeck and the people on watch there became concerned
about water getting all over their waxed and buffed deck and sent the
messenger up to investigate. By this time anybody who came up the
stairs was treated as an enemy and no one noticed the man was not a
recruit and soaked him too. The next group that came up included a
CPO and they announced themselves before they came up. We were
herded into our barracks and stood dripping in front of our bunks
while they located our Company Commander at the Chief's Club. He was
very upset when he got there and after lecturing us for several hours
and threatening to send us back to our 1-1 day to go through it all
over again, we commenced field day on the barracks, laundry room,
stairwell, and quarterdeck which took us till long after taps.

I have always wondered why they didn't throw us all in the brig or
some other suitable form of military instruction for what we pulled
like happy hours till retirement, but nothing was ever said after
that. I don't know if it was laxness at the end of the Vietnam War,
or they thought it was all right for us to blow off a little steam as
no one got hurt, or maybe they were just too embarrassed to admit
that we got out of control on their
watch. It could be that the whole incident never left the building.

Brabant BT-1

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Store Chips
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A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a
woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the
entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the
value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may
choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except
to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign
reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues
upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good
Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the
fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking
and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly
stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous,
Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where
the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men
on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives
store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and like beer.

The third floor has wives that love sex, like beer and have money.

The fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Randy
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

Just for fun
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004jst_for_fun.jpg

Wedding day
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004marriage_5.jpg

I, Ribbit
http://able2laff.com/master/pix.php?pic=004movies-0037.jpg

Grandpa
http://buffalosjokes.com/12520.htm

Graffiti
http://buffalosjokes.com/12519.htm

Gore
http://buffalosjokes.com/12518.htm

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Short Chips
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Everyone farts, admit it or not. Kings fart, queens fart.

Edward Lear, the 19th century English landscape painter, wrote
affectionately of a favorite Duchess who gave enormous dinner parties
attended by the cream of society.

One night she let out a ripper, and quick as a flash she turned her
gaze to her stoic butler, standing, as always, behind her.
"Hawkins!" she cried. "Stop that!"

"Certainly, your Grace", he replied with unhurried dignity,
"Which way did it go?"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Q: How do you know when your getting old?
A: You dreams are dry & you farts are wet.

Q. What's better than hugging a doggie?
A. Kissing a pussy

Q: Why were lesbians invented?
A: So radical feminists wouldn't breed.

Have a good day
Myron

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"I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it sure works."
-- Henny Youngman

"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie,
lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal,
steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat
death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that
take your breath away."

- Will Smith as Alex 'Hitch' Hitchens in "Hitch"

You know you have a problem when....
You stink so bad you make Right Guard turn left, Speed Stick slow
down, Secret obvious, and Sure confused.

Funky

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Blonde Chips
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A young blonde was having problems with her first
case of hemorrhoids. With all the burning, itching
and swelling she didn't know what to do. She calls her
older blonde friend and says, "I'm itching, burning
and it's swollen - what can I do?"

The older blonde says "Hehehe, you have hemorrhoids.
I'll go down to the pharmacy and get you some
Preparation H; that will take care of your swelling
and itching. You just set still !!!!"

After about 1 hour the young blonde was still
itching and burning more and more. The older blonde
delivers the Preparation H and tells the young blonde
"Take this and you will be better in about an hour.
I'll call and check up on you in a couple of hours."

The young blonde, not reading the directions, rips
open the box and swallows the whole tube, thinking
this is the worst taste she has ever ran across her
lips. She tries to spit it out.

The phone rings and she answers, "Ssssswwwellooooo."
It's the older blonde. She asks, "So, how are your hemorrhoids??"

The young blonde replies, "They still itch and burn
but I can whistle better than ever before !!!"

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The One Touch Cordless Knife is the portable, lightweight
kitchen tool that slices, dices and chops your favorite foods
in seconds. Just one touch and the high powered motor
moves the blades at 2,000 strokes per minute, so it slices
through the toughest meats, fruits or vegetables. The
Cordless Knife also glides gently through delicate foods
such as breads or desserts.

Additional Ordering Details:

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Short Chips
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A pair of stripteasers named Betsy and Beth were grinding it out
before an audience of all-male art lovers when Betsy noticed that
Beth's G-string was slipping. Betsy whispered urgently, "Oh, Beth,
where is thy string?" Beth looked down and shrugged. "They'll think
it's part of the act," she whispered back, "if you'll just bare with
me."

When the baby was born, the parents couldn't figure out which sex it
was. Rather than assign it a sex surgically, however, they opted to
let the child decide when it grew up. However, to get by in modern
American society, they did need to assign a gender to avoid sticky
situations. Thus, by dressing the child in girl's clothing, they
managed to skirt the issue.

A fellow walks into a pub near Buckingham Palace in London, sits
down, and says, "Give me a beer. I've had a rough day at work." And
the bartender says, "Oh? What do you do?" The guy says, "I take care
of the corgis--you know, the dogs the royal family owns." The
bartender asks, "Tough job, huh? The guy says, "Yeah. All that
inbreeding has led to low intelligence and bad temperaments. And the
dogs aren't too smart, either."

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Turkey Chips
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A number of children from the neighborhood were invited to Mrs.
Johnson's for Thanksgiving dinner. She decided to do something
different while serving the meal.

"Where are you originally from?" she asked one child.

"California," said the boy.

"Well then, I will give you the left wing."

She turned to another boy. "Where are YOU from?

"New York", He answered.

"You get the right wing."

She turned to the third boy. "Where are you from?"

"I'm from New Orleans and I ain't hungry!"

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Micro Force is the world's smallest fully waterproof and rechargeable
electric shaver.

The rechargeable battery last up to 10 times longer than a standard
battery shaver.
With the Micro Force shaver being smaller than a credit card,
it makes it the perfect shaver for traveling or every day use.

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Short Chips
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A local lawyer was sitting in his office the other morning when in
walked a beautiful young lady. Without any preliminaries she said
she
wanted a divorce. "On what grounds?" asked the lawyer. "I don't
think
he is faithful to me," she replied. "And what makes you think he
isn't faithful?" asked the lawyer. "Well," replied the young
lady, "I
don't think he is the father of my child."

One day a small boy was at school. In Social Studies class, his
teacher was talking about peoples last names, about how in the old
days their last name used to be their occupation. She gave examples
like Baker, which meant they where a baker for a living, Miller
meant that person worked in a mill, and so on. Then the little boy
raised his hand and the teacher said "Do you have an example for
the
class?" He said " Not really, more of a question." "Well what's your
question?" the teacher asked. "Well," said the little boy, "What did
John Hancock do for a living?"

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Slim Clip is the amazing new double-sided money clip that holds up to
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It even comes with a lifetime replacement warranty.
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Reflection
http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Insp3/Reflection.html

Choices
http://www.poetrybyken.us/ipoems25/Choices.html

Judy w/ Down Down ~ Unknown
http://frommyheart2u.com/seasons/downdown

Humor In Religion 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hreligion2.html

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We wanted to let you know right away that you never have to pay
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Surfin Surfari

HIDDEN VALLEY RANCH DRESSING Via Steve
http://www.freeenterpriseland.com/BOOK/HIDDENVALLEY.html

Peanut Butter Crackers Recall
http://www.fda.gov/oc/po/firmrecalls/kellogg01_09.html

Our Galaxy Larger
http://www.world-science.net/othernews/090106_milkyway

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

IP Chicken
http://www.ipchicken.com/

Be Your Own Webserver
http://www.dslwebserver.com/

The free version of TweakNow RegCleaner Standard
http://www.tweaknow.com/RegCleaner.html

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way.

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.nextdaypets.com/directory/breeds/

Kitty Korner
http://www.paws-and-effect.com/

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Movie Chips

Hilary Campaign
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfrhhef.htm

Hilary Hilary
http://www.buffaloschips.com/afgthu.htm

Hillary's Campaign
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfr.htm

Hillary's Perfume
http://www.buffaloschips.com/afgtg.htm

Finalized MTG Minutes
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghjkikl.htm

First Day At The Rifle Range
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghjkillo.htm

First IT Consultant
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdfde.htm

Fishing Boat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdrese.htm

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Classmate Chips
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HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND
THINKING,

SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL, IF SO. . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS
ONE.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­__________________________________

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY
FIRST
APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH
BORE HIS

FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE
SAME NAME
HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GREY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO
OLD TO

HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF
HE HAD ATTENDED
MORGAN PARK HIG H SCHOOL.

"YES. . . YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG," HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, "IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?"

"YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED,

FAT ASS,

GREY-HAIRED,

DECREPIT SON-OF-A-BITCH ASKED:

'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?'

Rob Fink

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Turbo Bag - Friendly Airport Travel Bag

Turbo Bag is an innovative, travel laptop bag. Fly through airport
checkpoints in a breeze while never removing your computer from the
bag. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3 - just unzip, unfold and pass through!
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View Web Version

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

fun with lasers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k121.html

lets make a deal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k122.html

you're right
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k123.html

Time Out!
http://buffalosjokes.com/12526.htm

Not Right
http://buffalosjokes.com/12524.htm

Spidie Sense
http://buffalosjokes.com/12525.htm

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If you could save money on gas and help stop global warming at the
same time. why wouldn't you? <a href="
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young man from Florida
Who liked a friend's wife, so he borrowed her,
When they got into bed
He cried, God strike me dead!
This ain't a puss - its a corridor!"

~~~~~

There was a young athlete named Grimmon
Who developed a new way of swimmin':
By a marvelous trick
He would scull with his prick,
Which attracted loud cheers from the women.

~~~~~

His dick is most surely a dilly,
A grand and marvelous Willie.
His gal loves to give head,
But most often instead,
He ends by just screwing her silly.

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Turn anything into a flashlight and never be left in the dark again!

The world's thinnest flashlight that fits anywhere!

Perfect for cell phones (since you always carry it around)
But also great on Ipods, Cameras, Wallets, Closets and anywhere you
need light!

The catlite is the perfect flashlight, ready when you need it and
right at your fingertips

You'll wonder how you ever lived without your Catlite!

Not available in stores!

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Parting Chips
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Bambi the blonde celebrated her 40th birthday with a makeover. She
went to the best plastic surgeon in town and got a boob lift, a
tummy
tuck, butt implants, botox, collagen... the works. Ten weeks and
thousands of dollars later, she was a new woman -- literally. Her
personal physician then performed her annual physical, noted the new
"body work." When the exam was finished, he called her in. "Bambi,
your overall health is good, but I want to discuss a problem that
often affects women your age, osteoporosis." Bambi looked puzzled.
"Osteo--what?" "Bone loss. Many women start to experience it in
their
40s." Bambi giggled, blushed and said, "Oh, really, Doc. You've seen
me naked. Trust me, with this body and this face, I get new bones
quite often!"

Stan Kegel

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Keep Warm Air In & Winter Air Out

Twin Draft Guards? minimizes energy loss from doors and
windows saving you money on your energy bills.

Twin Draft Guards? work just as well on the interior doors of your
home
as they do outdoors, blocking drafts and keeping allergens, such as
dust,
pollen and even insects from traveling freely around your home. Twin
Draft
Guards are also helpful in blocking harmful fumes from the garage and
the
damp chill from the basement.

Additional Ordering Details:

http://buffaloschips.com/guards

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Bonus Chip
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Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from
Michigan, was being interviewed by a French
journalist and animal rights activist. The discussion
came around to deer hunting.

The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last
thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is
it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it 'Are you the one
who killed my brother?' "

Nugent replied, "Deer aren't capable of that kind
of thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going
to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run
fast enough to get away. They are very much like the French."

The interview ended at that point.

Peggy

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The Warrior AK-47 Airsoft Rifle is an awesome toy for the holidays!
Your kids and loved ones will have hours of fun and competition. With
plastic BB's, its fun and safe to see who has the best shot! It comes
complete with scope, laser sight, adjustable bipod and detachable
sport stock. The laser sight makes this a sure fire winner! This toy
gun shoots fast and accurate at approximately 200 FPS. The Warrior AK-
47 Airsoft Spring Sniper Rifle is a full size rifle and even comes
with safety glasses and a starter pack of BBs.

Click here to hear more or buy now:

http://buffaloschips.com/ak-47

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1502

Sandi Explains..

Rudy: Sandi explain to us why the American people vote for President
then later a group of people, the Electoral College actually vote for
the President.

Katie: Yes, I never understood that myself.

Sandi: Ah, it is quite simple actually. In a small part of our
country lies
an Institution, a place of higher learning, a college if you will.
The
brightest of our countrymen attend it, it is the Electoral College.

Rudy: Wow! What do they teach there?

Sandi: They teach things like how to run a government, how to be fair
and just. How to be a judge and important things like that.

Katie: Boy, you are smart Sandi.

Sandi: So they get together every four years and have a keg party
and vote
for the next President. Of course they look at the popular vote and
let that
influence them but they vote for who they think would be the best
qualified.

Katie: Sandi I am amazed at your knowledge.

Sandi: They next day after their hangover is gone they count their
ballots
and see who won. A little known fact is that in 1936, they got so
drunk
they elected Elmer Fudd to be president. But they realized they
could not
have an animated president so they went with their second pick and
chose
FDR.

Rudy: Do they have a football team?

Sandi: Of course they do. They play under different names so as not
to draw attention to themselves. They always win the National
Championship
because they are so good. This year they called themselves Florida,
last
year they called themselves a different name.

Katie: Gosh you are smart. Where is this college located? We need
to
go visit it.

Sandi: It is classified, top secret, somewhere around Area 51 I
believe.

Sandi walks into the house as Rudy and Katie stare at the sky......

The herd in Guthrie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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