THE POSTMAN'S CORNER "The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of "liberalism, will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened. I no longer need to run as a Presidential Candidate for the Socialist Party . The Democrat Party has adopted our platform." Norman Thomas, The Socialist Party candidate for President of the US,1944 CHECK THIS OUT>>> Within seconds, you can use this free service to: - Get matched with 5 home businesses - Find an opportunity your needs - Work part-time or that fits full-time - Increase your weekly income - Save money or pay off debt http://www.thepostm  Free Samples for a Healthier You from RemedyLife.com Click here to get started! At REMEDYLife.com, you™ll get exclusive access to: - Valuable savings on America™s leading brands - Breaking health news and expert advice - Tools and Videos to help manage your health - Nutritious recipes for every dietary need - Free newsletters delivered straight to your inbox - And much more! http://www.thepostm  Receive a FREE* $100 restaurant gift card of your choice or $100 worth Coke® or Pepsi® for participating! http://www.thepostm  Make sure you start the day right. Take part in National Survey Panel's Best Breakfast Cereal Survey. Which cereal is better? Froot Loops(R) vs. Trix(R). Simply tell us. Then get a FREE $100 Grocery Gift Card http://www.thepostm GOOD EVENING POSTMAN FANS! I have been very busy the last couple of weeks. It is that time of year again. I have been running hither and yon to see all kinds of doctors, dentists, and all that good stuff. We just received our new cap of insurance benefits for the year and flex dollars. We ran out a couple months before the end of last year for coverage on dental and eye doctor, prescription coverage, and on doctor's office coverage. It was the prevervial "black hole" for the last couple months of last year. So, it means a trip to see all my specialists- four of them. a trip to my regular doc for the good ole blood work. and etc. Happily, so far, all of them have turned out well. Nobody discovered any nefarious new diseases or added new scripts. I even went to the dentist yesterday. Hey mom? NO CAVITIES! I am shocked as the last couple of years I have had a plethora of root canals and crowns. Always seemed like there was some work to carry over to next year cuz the dental ins. wouldn't cover it all. But not this year. My oxygen provider was very gracious. I'd piled up a rather hefty bill from services last year. And the new flex dollars got me caught up on that. I'm truly grateful they did not try and come get their stuff as there was a lot of unpaid costs that the ins. didn't pick up last year. The good part of it is, nobody has suggested any new health declines and that means that assuming that things don't get worse, I should be able to provide another year of jokes and follies for all of you. Most important, however, my pulminologist said it was probably ok to ride the cycle this summer. So it looks like another great year. I have one last hurtle. Diabetics have to go in for a yearly eye exam, which I have scheduled for next week. I am not so worried about that one. I can see about as good as normal,except for reading a book or the computer. And when it comes to glasses, I have found I can make a trip to Walgreens, buy a miriad of over the counter glasses for a couple dollars each, and not worry about expensive glasses. I always end up getting them scratched or spend half the day looking for them. So I put a pair in every room of the house. And just for safe measure, I always store a couple pairs in my saddle bags on the cycle. I spend half my life looking for glasses. One day, I was furiously rumaging through my desk and she comes in and says "What are you looking for?" "I can't find my glasses, I just had em a minute ago." She smiles and says, "They're on your head." Personally, I would dispense with the eye doctor and just not worry about it, except that she has decreed that I keep my appointment. Anyways, I know that you didn't open this email to hear about all of my aches and pains. So lets have some jokes! We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman  THE COMICS delagating http://www.thepostm preflight safety http://www.thepostm foolin around http://www.thepostm you're lucky Benny http://www.thepostm lost n found http://www.thepostm a problem http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES one day at the ezy pass http://www.thepostm one day at walmart http://www.thepostm never underestimate an old lady http://www.thepostm Ghost chickens in the sky-wav file http://www.thepostm Top ten moments of GW http://www.thepostm the dunk tank http://www.thepostm the blindman http://www.thepostm ____________  After his annual physical, the sexually active bachelor was waiting in the doctor's office for the results. "Well," said the doctor, "I have good news and bad news for you." "The way I feel, please give me the good news first," replied the bachelor. "The good news," announced the doctor, "is that your penis has grown an additional four inches since your last exam." "Great!" the man shouted, "What is the bad news?" "It's malignant," replied the doctor. ____________ During a tour at the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, a New York City woman mentioned that she was raising a type of cactus in a pot on her apartment balcony. Another tourist asked her how she kept from watering it too much, because the cactus would die if over watered. "I subscribe to the Tucson newspaper," replied the New Yorker. "Every time I read that it rained in the desert, I give my plant some water ____________ Two small-town merchants were visiting New York City for the first time to attend a conference. There was a large party thrown, with lots of food and drink. At the end of the party, they both staggered outside. One guy crossed the street, while the other stumbled into a subway entrance. When the 1st guy reached the other side of the street, he noticed the other emerging from the subway stairs. "Where ya been?" he slurred. "I don't know," gushed the other guy, "but you should see the train set that guy has in his basement!" ____________ Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?" Sam: "I don't know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!" ____________ The bank robbers arrived just before closing and promptly ordered the few remaining depositors, the tellers, clerks, and guards to disrobe and lie face down on the floor, behind the counter. One nervous blonde pulled off all her clothes and lay down on the floor facing upwards. "Turn over, Cindy," whispered the girl lying beside her. "This is a stick-up,... ____________ A young pastor who normally rode a bike was walking despondently down the street when he came upon an older more experienced pastor. The older pastor could see his young friend was troubled deeply. "What is bothering you my son?" he asked. "Well it appears a member of my congregation has stolen my bike" he replied. The elder said, "If I may give you some advice you might get your bike back. Next Sunday preach on the 10 Command- ments and when you get to 'Thou shall not steal', really emphasize it." Well the next week they met again and the young pastor was once again riding his bike. "Well " said the older one, "I see my advice worked." "Yes" the young pastor replied, "I took your advice and preached on the 10 Commandments and when I got to 'Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I'd left my bike." ____________ BUFFALO Bill Heimlich Maneuver http://www.buffalos ____________ PAPA Thorn Chocolaty dessert Celery freak! (naughty alert) http://able2laugh. Canadian sporting event http://able2laff. FUN PAGES from Lorraine Big Spender http://tinyurl. Betty Boop Cartoons http://tinyurl. 3 Stooges Cartoons http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day! FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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